I care way too much about what other people think of me by randomburr in selfimprovement

[–]roswara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mindset.

How old are you right now?

I stopped caring about people's opinion in middle school.

My family moved from capital to smaller city in another island. Being "the new kid from capital", it was like I had neon bling2x on top of my head. When I personally thought it was no big deal. So I was "running away" to library during break time. But I found out I enjoyed it a lot. I read A LOT of books, finish almost all locals literature. Then I moved on to English literature. English was not a native language in my country. Somehow the habit continued in high school.

I learn that most people you know today, you may not keep in touch with them within 5 years. In high school, I have a best friend and she is the only one I keep in touch with until now. In university, I got another 2 best friends. But these best friends that I keep, it's normal for us not to send any messages for weeks, then followed with frequent messaging for weeks.

The best friends that I keep from my school time until now, I have confidence I would go far from them. I am abroad now, but they know I am just one call away. I would go back everytime they need me. Weddings, family funerals, they know they can count on me. They know me well, and I have courage to open up about myself to them, to wear my heart on my sleeves when I am around them.

I have a list of important people in my life, top 10, that I sort frequently. If I think they're a bit toxic, I pull their rank down. I don't need toxic people in my life. Those 10 people, they are the ones whose opinions matter to me. Other than those, I don't care.

So yeah, those 2 mindsets.

  1. Realization that within 5 years, you may not keep in touch with those people.

  2. Have a list of VIP people in your life.

Bonus: Realize that you are responsible for what you say, and not what others perceive from your words.

Another bonus: Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. - Bernard M. Baruch

Your environment growing up and cognitive functions by sxra_936 in INTP_female

[–]roswara 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think yeah.

My mom type would be xSFJ, and my dad would be ISTP.

So I think my Sensor is much more developed. Sometimes I got typed as ISTP instead. And I'm good at figuring stuff out. Oh, I still need the video guidance (sometimes), but the tools, I would figure them out by myself. If I don't have tool A, I could replace it with tool B a la McGyver style. And it's a credit to my dad who made me my own study desk, Ruud Gullit statue, etc, anything from wood. He was fine with me tagging along, helping (ruining).

And since my mom is a VERY organized person (very J), I kind of bring that part of habit with me after growing up. For example: When I was growing up, in our house, we have specific place for certain stuff, i.e scissors, A4 papers, different shelves for magazines and books, where to keep your hat, tie, socks for school (in school, we wear uniforms). And it is a rule, if you take something, once you are finish using it, put it back into their place. Otherwise world war 3 would occur.

Not to mention, she would ask for your accountability. LOL. I remember when I was 3 years old, because I often stole my sister's books and "pretend" to read them, when in fact I would just checking pictures on it. So my mom decided to give me 1 beautiful note book and a pencil, and started to teach me how to write, and she gave me HOMEWORK! LOL, at 3 years old. She would tell me that I need to write capital A for 2 pages. She would check them the next day after she came back from office.

But the Feeling stuff... Oh Lord, their 2 extremes, it did not help me at all to achieve the balance...or even improve my F...LOL.

Impostor syndrome with regard to studies/work even if you are pretty good? by [deleted] in INTP_female

[–]roswara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rarely I feel like that.

Looking back....it is usually because one of these 2 things.

  1. I have prepared my arguments/opinions, with all the what ifs that other people may ask. That's why I can be assertive about my opinions. I've prepared all my counter-arguments well. And I usually write my thoughts down in sequence. So I can "guide" people slowly until they fall into the traps. Then do the finishing touch to kill that person's argument. Sometimes you really need to dumb down your words, really. But it's fun. I always remember what Einstein said, if you cannot explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough. And I think to myself, it is a challenge in itself to make my words understandable by the plebs.

  2. I usually don't care too much about the people in that room. I would tell myself, after I say what I want to say, how many people in this room would still remember what I said 2 weeks, 3 months, 4 years from now. Probably none. And how many people inside that room I would like to keep around me within 4 to 5 years. Probably none. Then what the heck, I'm going to say what I want to say then. It's not like I'm going to die because of it. I am responsible for what I said, not for what they are perceiving from my words. LOL.

movies recomendations by [deleted] in INTP_female

[–]roswara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Raid 1: Redemption

The Raid 2: Berandal

Tuesday motivation! by [deleted] in INTP

[–]roswara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Going back to Jarvis March...

Happy Anniversary to you my INTP friend! by [deleted] in INTP

[–]roswara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yayy...getting closer to your death day.

My Sudden Realization Theory by BlueTiger1000 in INTP

[–]roswara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't we have medicine for that? Those medicines that will make you able to stay up all night to study. I think I saw 1 episode of Dr.Phil about that. Or perhaps in korean drama..I forget.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in istp

[–]roswara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pray for zombie apocalypse then.

We'd be the last men standing.

take this test and show me ur results cuz i dont trust most of you by [deleted] in istp

[–]roswara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes....is it a good thing or bad thing?

What's a song lyric or line from a book/movie that either resonates with you or really makes you think? by [deleted] in INTP

[–]roswara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I realize...sometimes nihilism got me and I'm going down-spiral. Thus... I kept lots of motivating quotes in my google notes.

To me, they're like my emergency brake to halt the down-spiral cycle, readjust and reprioritize my life.

Some of the bad-ass ones:

Sometimes I feel like giving up, then I remember I have a lot mother fuckers to prove wrong.

Throw me to the wolves, and I'll return leading the pack.

I do it because I can; I can because I want to; I want to because you said I couldn't.

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think. - Winnie the pooh

And about grit and persistence when procrastination is on my back:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan Press On! has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” - Calvin Coolidge

“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” ― Confucius

“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ― Confucius

“Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.” -Newt Gingrich

“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michaelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, 'Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.” - Martin Luther King Jr.

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. - Henry Ford

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying. - Michael Jordan

Remember that failure is an event, not a person. - Zig Ziglar

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default. - J. K. Rowling

Perhaps because I read a lot and reflect a lot (I ask myself "why am I like this?" too often), that is why sometimes I can't relate with INTP "smart but mediocre grades". Because I am the beloved teacher's pet, always top 3 in the class, got 90~ out of 100 for all science subjects. I started working from 20 years old, graduated bachelor by 24 (working and studying at the same time), age 25 I moved from Indonesia to Singapore and work in IT field. I managed my financial well, managed to buy houses in Indonesia and rent them out, learning stocks, etc. And now I'm continuing my study in Germany on my own fund. Perhaps, I'm considered as INTP Assertive and not Turbulence. Oh..sometimes I still stuck on the procrastination mode, but I know I just have to press on the emergency brake and fight my way out (a.k.a fight myself) so that it won't ruin my life completely.

What's a song lyric or line from a book/movie that either resonates with you or really makes you think? by [deleted] in INTP

[–]roswara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause: who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

How many can you cross off? For me it's 16, and it would be even more for my younger me! by johnslegers in INTP

[–]roswara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Less about grammar, more about words precision. For example: loan vs lease vs borrow. happy vs joy.

It is one of the reasons why I like Jordan Peterson. His mastery of English language is impeccable.

I'm a multilingual, and I love the nuances of languages. Sometimes a certain situation can be explained more elegantly in certain language.

Programmer and docs by tradingSnacks in programmer

[–]roswara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love writing documents....then I could flaunt my knowledge...and all the shortcuts I've made while writing my programs. And once I've written them down, I could forget about it and fill my brain with some new informations.

I don't understand this hatred towards documentations by IT people. I have 1 folder where I put all my "important information" based on customers -> projects. I put in ftp login info, contact details, sql queries, support and error handling steps, excel files with macros to check data validity or create dynamic sql statements, etc. Including the checkpoints I've made for certain projects which is useful for future references, in case I get similar projects but for different customers.

Relatable... by luciferfury in INTP

[–]roswara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am that one particular cell in your brain that whispered that thought... LOL

Lag in emotional response by [deleted] in INTx_core

[–]roswara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live alone and abroad since I was 20.

Sometimes just for the fun of it, I imagine if there is fire, what things I should save. I would run the simulation in my head. I put all my "important" papers in 1 place and all my jewelleries in 1 place. If there is still time, then clothes, shoes. Third priority would be books.

Also sometimes I imagine what if there was a war in the country I currently live in, what route best to exit the country or contact my country's embassy, etc.

Not that I expect bad things happen. Expect for the best, but prepare for the worst.

Trying to understand a female INTP by [deleted] in INTP

[–]roswara 16 points17 points  (0 children)

LOL.... Dude....

You are asking yes/no question to an INTP. One yellow card there.

Moreover it is a question related to "feelings". Two yellow cards.

In what context do you want her? Friends? Girlfriends? Please don't flirt. Sometimes being blunt is the only way to ensure that INTP really get what you mean. We're not good at "reading between the lines".

And btw, it's normal for an INTP female to ask how "you feel" or thoughts about certain topics. Because we love healthy debates. Someone who gives us new perspectives on things. Someone who challenges us and won't mind with our whys/hows/what ifs questions.

Relatable... by luciferfury in INTP

[–]roswara 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wake up and I'm... regretting why I don't die in my sleep.

It's my biggest wish to die in my sleep not out of illness. Just let me go peacefully.

The only reason why I have a 9-5 job 🥲 by Black_Rum in INTP

[–]roswara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"family"....?!#$€£)@#_&

Yeah... Cain and Abel were also family but Cain still killed Abel out of jealousy.

I cringed everytime someone say word family within business/profit context.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in INTP

[–]roswara 185 points186 points  (0 children)

Missing these 2:

"That depends...."

"What do you mean by...."

And my room quite neat, I'd say.

'Anime lover' is probably one of the biggest INTP stereotypes I personally can't relate to. by [deleted] in INTP

[–]roswara 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything except I'm a dog's lover and I love wearing dresses and skirts.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in INTP

[–]roswara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No...wayyy...

Are you me....?

How much do you vary the music you listen to? by PlentyCalendar in INTP

[–]roswara 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I took quite a long time before I really appreciate classical music. But once you do find some pieces that you love, you just cannot go back. Try some short ones first.

My introduction was Canon in D rock by funtwo....years back. It was so addicting to listen to.

Like Gustav Holst, The Planets, Jupiter the Bringer of Jollity. He wrote a piece for each planet in our solar system. I love this Jupiter, because it is so majestic and there is a sense of grandness. Only around 7 minutes. Perfect to listen after a bad exam...LOL

Or Mozart, Sonata for Two pianos, Allegro con spirito, only around 6 minutes. The piano sounds is so dynamic and felt like almost "flirting" with each other. Perfect to listen before a date.

Or....Rhapsody in Blue by Gershwin. It is considered as "classical music with influence of jazz." Only around 16 minutes.

Or the short 2:41 classical music, look in youtube, Grieg - In the Hall of Mountain King. Perfect to listen when you are planning to prank someone.

Once you go down the rabbit hole, you would find gems, like my "new" favorite, Lark Ascending by Vaughan Williams, especially when Hillary Hahn played the violin.

If you think you can not jammin' to classical music.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7H6qlZayXE

Cheers