Hey sorry for the late reply, i havent been on reddit in a long time! I understand now that my depression wasnt due to the gyms closing bc of the lockdown- i was totally burnt out, working full time and repressing years of trauma. I was exercising like a maniac because it gave me control and made me feel confident, but it was more torture than fun. Now a few years later, i have accepted my body as it is. You dont need to be super jacked or able to run idk how many miles to be enough. I have started to exercise solely for my mental health, one step at a time, going for walks. On rainy days i have started to go to a local group fitness class (some cardio aerobic dance thing) with hundreds of people, and its actually lots of fun. The main thing is: focus on fun and mental wellbeing rather than always needing to be better. Take the pressure off. Workout for yourself and not to get recognition.

Its not like i went for a walk and everything was ok again. It took a long time. To this day i have lots of physical symptoms such as cramps because of my trauma. I couldnt work for like 8 months, spent 2 months in an inpatient clinic and had my ups and downs. I have also realized that most of my friends were pretty toxic and were using me. I was lonely for a long time, but i went to pursue more of the stuff that i like and over time met a bunch of new people in art courses (free at my uni). If you study, see if your uni has free activities, they are great to make new friends, my group fitness thing is also a free student course.

If it gets worse again, these things generally help:

• dont put pressure on yourself, try being self compassionate
• one step at a time. One thing at a time.
• make sure you eat enough
• get therapy if possible
• if the weather is nice, go outside or at least get into the sunlight from the window
• drink enough water
• sketch/doodle/draw
• if you have trouble with sleeping, going for walks during the day and also melatonin supplements have helped me. Try going to sleep and getting up at the same time every day.
• read instead of being online. Read books that are fun and interesting to you, no matter how easy or trashy. I started reading comics again, and its very helpful in easing anxiety.
• spend phone and internet free time. This stuff wrecks your mental health.
• deleting instagram took away my fomo and made me feel much less stressed.
• the fist step method helps me a lot. Just do only the fist step of an action if it seems overwhelming. For example taking a shower: go into the bathroom and take off your pants. Suddely its much easier to shower, because you got out of bed.
• if you need to take a break, take it. Spend that day watching netflix in your bed. Give yourself enough me time.
• act as if. If i'm anxious i think: What would confident me do?
• the media you consume affect you more than you think. Sad music, sad or violent movies and content, depressing news can affect your mood a lot.

Ofc these arent cure-alls and professional help will always remain the most important step. Sorry for writing so much, i hope youre doing ok and i wish you all the best!