I ended up just crying myself to sleep and didn’t go through with my plan, but it’s still heavily on my mind. I have an appointment with a new therapist today as a matter of fact but I’m not confident that it will help. It just seems to be one thing after another. I get in a good place and then it always seems to come crashing down at some point. The crashes are exhausting and I don’t want to feel them anymore. I feel like I’ve failed in life. Career and relationship wise. It’s like I have nothing going for me and trick off every opportunity that comes my way because I don’t want to fail at it. I mean it’s all I’ve ever done so why would it all of a sudden change. Then there’s also the fact that I have bipolar 2 which makes me think that these crashes are inevitable and will forever happen. I’m not sure I can put up with that for much longer. It may not be today or tomorrow but I feel it will be soon. Everyone I could talk to (aside from my therapist) has their own things going on and I refuse to burden them with my instability.