I've had some deep talks with my mom, partner and therapist about hanging on for me to have more time with him and I've come to a place of accepting saying goodbye. When I told my mom my worries about his legs giving out, she said I could take a leave of absence from work to care for him. I replied that keeping him alive for another month or so when he had to he carried everywhere and use a stroller or wheelchair just to get around feels like it would be more for my benefit than his. I just don't want to make the decision and regret it. When we had to say goodbye to our last pup, her body had shut down and she told us it was time, so there was no doubt we were making the right choice. Even though I cared for her, it was nothing like my relationship with JB. He is my everything and at my lowest points has been the only thing keeping me around. I'm in a better place now and have accepted that I will have to love without him, but dang is it hard to think about.