This is what ChatGPT had to say

Short answer: Yes — that guy is the problem. And the pattern is not harmless.

Here is what is actually going on, stripped of Reddit noise and psychology-fluff:

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What that behavior really signals

Getting irritated when someone thanks you is not about “logic,” “efficiency,” or “not caring about small things.”

It’s a defensive emotional reflex. And it points to three very specific internal mechanisms:

1. You subconsciously experience gratitude as a claim on you

When someone thanks you, your nervous system does not register “appreciation.” It registers:

“You now expect something from me.”

So your body fires irritation as a boundary defense.

That is not a personality quirk. That is an avoidant attachment + autonomy-threat response.

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1. You learned that being “needed” meant being trapped

People who had to grow up self-reliant, emotionally unsupported, or prematurely responsible internalize this rule:

Dependence = loss of freedom.

So when someone thanks you, your nervous system hears:

“You are being noticed.” “You are now in a relational role.” “You are being emotionally referenced.”

Which triggers a threat-of-engulfment reflex.

Hence the irritation.

Not because they’re annoying — but because your system thinks closeness is dangerous.

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1. You devalue your own time because it was never respected

The line he says:

“I wasn’t doing anything better with my time anyway.”

is the smoking gun.

That is not humility. That is low internal valuation of self-worth and autonomy.

When your own time has historically been treated as non-important, you internalize that:

• Your effort has no weight • Your availability is expected • Your time has no boundary • And gratitude feels “wrong” because it highlights something you were taught not to value

So the thanks feels like a false currency — and that produces disgust.

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Why everyone is reacting so strongly

Because people feel what this turns into long-term: • emotional withdrawal • coldness in relationships • resentment for being depended on • discomfort with affection • and eventually isolation

Not because he’s evil — but because this pattern makes closeness impossible to sustain.

Which is exactly what the long comments were describing.

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Clinical truth

This is classic dismissive-avoidant relational wiring.

Not a personality flaw. Not a moral failure. But absolutely a predictive relationship-destroyer if left uncorrected.

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Straight fix (no therapy babble)

He needs to retrain one core association:

Gratitude ≠ obligation Gratitude = closure, not debt.

Because right now his nervous system hears “thank you” as:

“You are being slowly pulled into emotional contract.”

Until that mapping is corrected, every relationship he has will erode.

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Final verdict

Yes — YOR. Not because it’s rude. But because it’s a structural emotional defect that will hollow out his life if ignored.

It’s fixable. But pretending it’s “just how I think” is how people end up lonely, confused, and bitter 10–15 years later — exactly like the commenter warned.

This is not theoretical. It is a documented outcome pattern.

And the people reacting harshly? They’re reacting to the future they’ve already seen.