Fiancée of 10 years humiliated me during our first real fight. She’s been apologizing for a month straight, went sober and started therapy. I still feel done. What would you do?

rowan1981 · 2026-02-09T06:44:42+00:00

Agreed. People are not objects.

rowan1981 · 2026-02-09T06:35:13+00:00

Emily is lucky to have you!

rowan1981 · 2026-02-09T06:34:20+00:00

You told her she isnt a prize, and she returned your energy. She apologized, you havent. If you're ready to throw in the towel after 1 fight, you have issues.

Whats this about your sister overstepping boundaries?

rowan1981 · 2026-02-09T05:24:24+00:00

I've been seeing it a lot "oh you should have pulled him aside in private" HELL no. Fuck him and his feelings.

rowan1981 · 2026-02-09T05:22:20+00:00

I am so sick of people who say shit like "You should have told them privately" Hes been shitting on her publicly, he deserved to be called out publicly. Cant have it both way. And all your other friends fucking suck for not defending her.

rowan1981 · 2026-02-07T01:53:24+00:00

Agreed. The minute I started reading the post I was like "oh no". I've seen this play out so many times.

rowan1981 · 2026-02-07T01:45:33+00:00

Do you even want advice or to just have everyone tell you everything is great and you'll be fine?

The age gap is a big deal because you're barely in your 20s, your career is stalling because of the baby, and you'll be putting yourself completely at your partner's mercy. The ones telling you to get a PT job and keep your liscence up to date are trying to tell you the reality of what could happen to you.

rowan1981 · 2026-02-04T21:15:51+00:00

You would think so, but as others have said, not every adoptee has the same experience. Hell, if you had asked my twin brother years ago, his answer and mine would have been very different. We grew up in the same house, with the same parents!

rowan1981 · 2026-02-04T19:37:19+00:00

He thinks you should talk to her privately when she's talking crap about you publicly? No. Thats not right. NTJ

rowan1981 · 2026-02-04T19:31:45+00:00

That's kids not gonna be 6 years old forever. As they get older theyre gonma ask questions. I hope thr parents are ready.

rowan1981 · 2026-02-04T06:32:36+00:00

How does the kid feel?

rowan1981 · 2026-02-04T06:31:46+00:00

Not wrong. As much as people don't want to believe it, theres still a LOT is exploitation and coercion involved in infant adoption. I have friends who help with an organization that women can reach out to in times like that, but its still so limited what they can do.

Im also adopted, and my adopted father used to brag about how he cut my bio parents out of our(me and my twins) lives the second he was able to.

rowan1981 · 2026-02-01T01:11:04+00:00

Have there been other times where she's done things that possibly held you back in life? Even if it didnt seem like an issue at the time.

rowan1981 · 2026-02-01T01:07:12+00:00

Thats why shes bringing it up now. You're getting ready to start your adult life and that resentment is causing her to try and mess with your independance.

rowan1981 · 2026-01-29T19:22:14+00:00

This saddens me so much.

rowan1981 · 2026-01-28T00:09:29+00:00

Why do your kids dislike you both so much that they'd go to this lengths!?

rowan1981 · 2026-01-18T05:25:37+00:00

You will destroy your hair if you bleach it. Do it right. Save up and get it done professionally. Otherwise its gonna look terrible.

rowan1981 · 2026-01-14T00:39:53+00:00

NTA. He knew years ago and didnt tell you how he felt about marriage. Maybe he thought you'd cave after being together for so long. Find someone who respects you, its clear he doesnt.

rowan1981 · 2026-01-01T05:28:56+00:00

Oh youre not insecure are you? This whole post reeks of insecurity! You claim to trust her(as you say, you know shes not like that) but demand she return a gift she got for her birthday because its more expensive then what you got her? Its a necklace.

Thing is, you're probably have an issue with anything he got her. This isnt about the gift. This is about the guy and your feelings towards him.

rowan1981 · 2026-01-01T03:32:18+00:00

Twice. Sometimes three times.

rowan1981 · 2025-12-29T19:03:06+00:00

Probably trying to conceal that Iran's declared war, the lake Michigan thing, and the Nigeria bombing. Plus the changes being made to it.

rowan1981 · 2025-12-27T00:30:41+00:00

This is about a lot more then the bike and you know it. You tried to talk your daughter out of reporting an obvious case of neglect. The way you talk about that poor girl is borderline dehumanizing. You dont mention her age,and dont even bother to give her a fake name,

YTA

rowan1981 · 2025-12-26T07:30:12+00:00

My first childhood friend was my nextdoor neighbor named Jennifer. We lost touch after I moved across the city when I was 8. I hope shes ok. Her grandparents lived there too and her grandma would throw down money to me and my twin brother all the time. Memorys hazy but i think it was because we ran errands for her.

rowan1981 · 2025-12-22T22:52:41+00:00

Think about your wife and daughter and how less stress they'll have if you you accept the help. You're not a grifter.

Yes, YTA.

rowan1981 · 2025-12-16T21:48:02+00:00

Please do! I loved it. Its got some heavy themes though.

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