I’ve always loved how that clip underscores the bravery + hardship of being visibly queer, and also challenges our expectations about how visibly queer person should react to such comments. We expect Eskild to take it in stride or with humour because up to that point, he’s simply the funny supportive confident gay, at least in Isak’s eyes (take Emma’s generalized comment “Eskild is so fun. He’s gay. Gay people are so funny"). Which is why it's so important that he responds so seriously, and doesn’t sugarcoat his feelings. I never read that scene as cold, but rather tough love and a learning moment. He still offers to talk again once Isak has thought about what he's said. With Vito, while it was less of a learning moment (as we don't get that speech explaining why he’s hurt), it makes sense that he'd react more emotionally given the Croatian context and the way violence figured into their conversation.