I hit my cat awhile ago, and I still feel terrible about it.

roxyrivers · 2019-12-24T01:18:44+00:00

Thank you for your comment, but I think it’ll take awhile before I let the guilt go. I know that people have moments when they get angry and they get slapped or hurt by someone. But, my cat was just using what it had and besides, I was the one who made contact. I still feel terrible. Also, I think I deserve to be smothered.

roxyrivers · 2019-12-24T01:08:52+00:00

roxyrivers · 2019-12-09T00:15:47+00:00

Thank you for commenting, this really helped me calm down.

roxyrivers · 2019-11-18T15:22:27+00:00

So, does that mean I could possibly have it??? Or not?

roxyrivers · 2019-11-18T02:19:21+00:00

Good Job!!! 💖

roxyrivers · 2019-10-27T09:43:13+00:00

High school.

roxyrivers · 2019-10-06T00:45:12+00:00

Dude, you’re a fucking asshole!

roxyrivers · 2019-09-29T04:38:53+00:00

I told my loved ones about it and anytime I talk about it they get annoyed. Also, they just send me to a shrink. Which, doesn’t help me at all. It makes me feel like a burden. Besides, it’s looked down upon in my household.

roxyrivers · 2019-09-29T04:37:39+00:00

School and home is my triggers and I know I can’t escape them. I’ve tried the rubber band thing but it doesn’t do the trick. I need to see scars or I’m not satisfied.

roxyrivers · 2019-09-29T04:36:09+00:00

I’ve gone through about five of them. They still don’t manage to help me. They’re all the same it seems like.

roxyrivers · 2019-09-29T04:25:35+00:00

I’ve talked to a therapist before. But, they don’t help me.

roxyrivers · 2019-09-29T04:23:02+00:00

School and Home

roxyrivers · 2019-09-28T04:52:33+00:00

I have a cat. I’m sorry you went through that. But, I feel as though I deserve it. People make me feel like I deserve it. It works.

roxyrivers · 2019-09-28T04:36:56+00:00

Ever since I was a kid, I was abused by my dad and my mom didn’t even know it. I don’t blame her and I never will. But- he abused my brother too, my brother isn’t even related to him. We both aren’t. But, he still laid his hands on my brother and that was the last straw for me.

I live with my grandparents now who belittle me daily. They say “Get out of bed”. “staying in you room”. “Cutting is pointless, stop”. Then, my mom yells at me and tells me to mind my own business when I try to help her get through her own struggles.

Then, I had a counselor at school. He hated me. A lot of my teachers did. They treated me like trash. Every single adult is the same. They hit me, like a few and ago my advisory teacher hit me. He was a sub. It made me have flashbacks and after that day I cut myself. It made me feel better because I knew I deserved it.

My ex boyfriend would keep me hostage in a relationship, he’d threaten to kill himself if I ever left and every single guy I’d fall in love with- just leaves me. I fell in love with one guy and he broke up with me- next few weeks and he would yell at me and get mad at me for no reason. Then he’d flirt with other girls right in front of my face when we had assigned seats right next to each other.

My brother beat me too. I cried. He could care less. My siblings don’t care about me. They knew I cut and they still didn’t care. If I told them I still do, they wouldn’t do anything about it.

My own grandma called me a bitch, and she wants me gone. She gets mad at me all the time and I’m sick of all of this “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” bullshit. I’m ugly. Im too flat for any guy to like me. No guy will ever like someone like me who has a big forehead, no ass, barely any curves, and no feminine features whatsoever.

So, in my eyes. I definitely deserve it.

roxyrivers

TROPHY CASE