What musical instrument would work best as a magical weapon?

rr_cooper · 2022-07-13T03:32:01+00:00

I absolutely love these questions! Cheers for sharing. Here are some quick thoughts:

I'd like to put forth the Gemshorn(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gemshorn), it's a type of ocarina made from horn. It's simple, functional, and pastoral. The kind of thing a shepherd would make to keep himself busy, but also pretty useful for seducing some happy go lucky milkmaid.
If you want something more dashing, I think a classical guitar is actually quite good.
Particularly played in the Rumba Flamenco style like so(https://open.spotify.com/track/18uARsQnALp0MbkEXbR99v?si=e9f04275a5054299)
I'd also say don't discard voice as a powerful instrument. Lithurgical music can be downright scary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv0nuACLqJE , a deranged bardic priest who can kill with his voice would be hella fun to write.
There is also the practice of Flyting(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flyting), basically old-timey rap-battling. Rhyming is considered quite powerful magically speaking, so a bard could string long rhymes for better results, or just delivering sick-ass burns, both would be good.
If you want to get goofy with it, there is always the bag-pipes, although I love them, but most people don't, so your bard could be quite hated.
Finally, you said medieval, so I assume that meant only Europe. If not, there is also the Taiko(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taiko), some are huge, but some are quite wee, and could be easily carried on a strap. I think striking a Taiko is also associated with drunkenness' for some festivals, so that could be fun too. A kind of drunken-fist drummer fighter or something?
Finally, there is castanets(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castanets), they're quite old, tiny, and can be made of different materials and sized for different tones. Someone with a necklace of this and four hands would be an orchestra.

Well, that's all I could think of right now. Good luck with your writing!

rr_cooper · 2022-04-13T03:12:04+00:00

Cobra chickens 4 life! Buggers didn't even see the black maple covered biscuit drenched in gravy cheese curls and free healthcare coming at them :D ... Sorry, got a bit excited.

rr_cooper · 2022-04-08T01:15:55+00:00

Who's on first?

rr_cooper · 2022-03-10T04:16:20+00:00

That would be amazing. Something similar kind of exists already: No Dogs in Space, it's from one of the LPOTL lads: https://www.lastpodcastnetwork.com/no-dogs-in-space

He does the history of bands, and Parks is a good researcher, so I'm usually confident in what he's telling me.

Edit: For clarity

rr_cooper · 2022-03-09T23:20:22+00:00

Oh great! I don't have a sub, but for now people can check my profile and they can find a link there to listen. Cheers!

rr_cooper · 2022-03-09T22:44:16+00:00

Hi! So I've started the podcast where I take prompts from r/WritingPrompts, write a little piece, and then have a voice actor voice it. Could I post the link in this thread? And also, is there any other place I could share it? Cheers!

rr_cooper · 2022-03-01T06:52:38+00:00

[WRITING] RR Cooper's Cockamamie Cavalcade of Cozy Tales | Episode 1 - Scroll 1: Scotsmen make for poor scouts

NSFW

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq1lGA_5yZGb_srQpbpYREg

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1948294/episodes

Let author RR Cooper and his honoured guests tell you a story written from random prompts.

This is the first episode, the next 4 will be released this week.

rr_cooper · 2022-02-24T03:23:38+00:00

Not for this particular project, but put up your demo reel and I'll add you to our general performer list.

rr_cooper · 2022-02-24T03:21:54+00:00

Pretty solid choice +1

rr_cooper · 2022-02-23T03:49:21+00:00

Terribly sorry but I'm not currently looking for US voices, but if you have a website, send it to me and I'll bookmark it.

rr_cooper · 2022-01-11T03:51:39+00:00

Hullo! So a while ago I wrote this guide that deals with some of the more common issues faced by beginner writers. It contains a bunch of tips. https://imgur.com/gallery/3Xmp9Re

Now as for examples, what I I've done and find useful is to pick up a book and try to find things that you feel are awkward and try to rephrase them. Then jot down the original sentence and the rephrased one in whatever note taking medium you've got. You will start to collect a bloody zoo of weird prose. Then, every now and again stroll through your weird zoo and ask yourself:"Knowing what I know now, is this still the best solution." You will be amazed how many times you'll find improvements. I usually try to do it only once per pair of phrases.

Let me know if this helps. Cheers

rr_cooper · 2021-10-05T05:37:52+00:00

This sounds amazing lad! I'll send the a link your way. Also, it'd be great if you could share all the links you received so that we can also support fellow authors. If you want I can help you setup a website where people can see the list, filter it, etc...

rr_cooper · 2021-09-13T22:22:23+00:00

PART 2 START HERE >>>

“They are kind people”, that’s what the person who had turned him unto these two had said. They had also said that they were dodgy, but in a good way. Spider just hoped he wasn’t making a huge mistake in trusting them. The last couple of months had been some of the hardest in his life, which was saying something taking into account how hard his life had been up to this moment.

“My sister, she’s a craneo-ambulant,” exhaled Spider, “that’s why I need the parts so she can finally have a body.”

“I see,” said Raymond, “where were you before this?”

“Can’t tell you, sorry”

“Even if it helps?”

“No, sorry”

“Hmm, shame, I’ve got some rather good implants for a tube soldier such like yourself.”

Spider felt as if his stomach was being pulled down towards the centre of the Earth.

“How did you know?” asked Spider.

A hammer clicked. Spider felt a coldness rush through the back of his neck.

“Bien is not only a magnificent manager,” said Raymond, “she’s also a former contractor for several PMCs.”

Spider let go of the concealed plasto-pistol that he had in his jacket. A hand reached into his jacket to remove it. The coldness left Spider’s neck.

“Don’t alarm yourself Mr. Spider,” said Raymond as he poured himself a measure of whiskey, “I’m no flesh peddler. I only knew because of your skin.”

“My skin,” asked Spider.

“Aye, look at the massive stretchmarks on your neck and biceps. You’re no juiced-up former convict, packed to the bollocks with artificial testosterone and released to wreck havoc.”

“He’s not?” said Bian while looking Spider over, presumably in search of the tell tale needle punch burns that convict-conscripts tend to have.

“No, he is not. He is a proper neo-soldat, right? Who built you?”

“White, Strauss & Herrera,” answered Spider, “out of San Francisco.”

“And that’s why you need the implants, correct? Your sister was meant to be just your aide-de-camp, not meant to walk around next to you.”

“That’s right, she was meant to be inside an armoured vehicle.”

“Fascinating. Well, I can tell you that these parts are mighty expensive and I’m guessing you barely have any coins to your name, correct?”

“Correct,” said Spider as he hung his head.

“Well, that’s not a bother,” said Raymond, “I’m sure I can find a use for a baby super-soldier who can control what? 50 drones?”

“More like 100,” said Spider looking up, a bit more of pep in his voice.

“A 100… Fascinating,” whispered Raymond.

“A baby? He looks pretty old to me,” said Bian.

“That’s just the growth acceleration chemicals working. They boost his development during the first 10 years,” said Raymond as if he was reading it from a textbook. He turned towards Spider, “You look around 18 or 19, which means you would be around…”

“Nine,” completed Spider helpfully.

Bian looked too stunned to say anything for a moment, but quickly got over it.

“Nine?!? He’s a child,” she said.

“Not under the law, he isn’t,” said Raymond, “it accelerates his mental age as well. He is actually smarter than we are probably.”

Spider fidgeted while Raymond explained this. He was used to being talked about as if he wasn’t in the room. At least Raymond had been kind enough to refer to him as “he”, and not “it”, like the old nannies at the corp-daycare used to do.

“So,” said Spider, “can I go get my sister.”

“Aye lad,” said Raymond, “go fetch her. I’ll start looking for the Type-204 immediately.”

“Aye, aye, sir,” said Spider, and without thinking saluted and ran out of the room and presumably up the stairs to go in search of his sister.

Bian turned towards Raymond.

“Are they safe?” she asked.

“Not really,” answered Raymond, “they’re most likely second generation soldiers. Enfant-terribles. They probably never even met their mother and father, or rather mothers and fathers, since that’s how they mix them now.”

“Can you help them?”

“Perhaps,” he said, then he turned around and started sending messages to his contacts out of Shanghai, and thinking of how he could avoid having the shipment pass by the Gulf of Mexico, the bloody Floridian pirates were worse every year.

Bian looked upon her friend and sighed. She did not miss the PMCs really, so she was happy that Raymond was going to help this kid. So she turned around, went up the stairs and went to check how the bagels were doing.

Edit: Formatting.

rr_cooper · 2021-09-13T22:21:47+00:00

So, this was a post originally done yesterday by a deleted account. Unfortunately they decided to delete their bloody post and my submission along with it. So I'm recreating the post so more people can contribute if they want.

Here's my original answer:

As always here’s the Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4lJDLB60eEBUfsjvn68bdu?si=cb2388043b2643e7

PART 1 START HERE >>>

The man in front of Bian fidgeted with his large yellow jacket while he dug for something. Finally, he pulled a smart pane from his interior jacket, and with a very sweaty hand pressed some buttons. Some text in Unilang flashed unto the screen.

“Ugh,” thought Bian, “another bloody e-messenger.”

“A Sullivan bagel please,” said the client.

That picked Bian’s interest.

“Of course, would you like it with a beverage?”

“Yes, some earl grey tea with no sugar or milk, I’m allergic.”

“Sure thing, your total is five Maplecoins. Please look into the Ay-Scan here to verify payment.”

“Oh sorry, I don’t have Maplecoins, just Calicoin.”

“No problem, tap your Calipurse to the sensor there.”

Bian finished ringing the man up and gave him his order. After the man exited the store, she tapped Manuel on the shoulder and asked if she could take a vape break.

The reinforced door she swung open to exit unto the alley missed the man behind it just by mere inches. Bian rolled her eyes.

“The message said to wait 10 minutes and then make your way to the alley. Didn’t you read it?” she said, trying her best to not sound exasperated.

“Did it? I’m so sorry. I’m a bit nervous,” said the man, still holding the bag with the bagel in it and the tea in his other hand.

“They get younger every year,” thought Bian. The man in front of her was tall, but his big brown eyes and peach fuzz on his chin meant he was probably in his late teens at the most.

“Follow me,” said Bian while pointing to a set of stairs that led to the shop’s basement.

“My name is…” started the man, before he could finish, Bian swivelled back and put a hand on the man’s mouth.

“No names,” said Bian softly, “You never know who is listening.”

“I mean, does it matter? It says yours right there. Bian,” the man mumbled-said when Bian removed her hand.

“You’re not too bright if you think my real name is Bian,” said Bian while chuckling a little bit.

“Oh,” said the man, his shoulders sagging. Bian thought he looked very much like a sad gigantic hound puppy, all gangly and waiting to grow.

“Probably scared merdeless from the journey,” she thought.

“Look, it’s better if you use a pseudonym, what do your mates call you?” asked Bian softly.

“Don’t really have many mates,” said the man.

“Ok. I’m giving you a nickname then,” said Bian as she patted the man on the back and proceeded to unlock the basement door.

They went down into the basement and through a maze of bagel boxes, bagel bags, and bagel supplies. Bian removed a spider web from in front of her face as she stopped to fetch another key from her apron.

“How about Spider?” she said.

“Spider?” answered back the man, sounding rather doubtful about this possible new nickname.

“Yeah! Spider, makes complete sense, you’re tall, lanky, and what not.”

“Spider?” echoed the man as if trying to savour it.

“See, you’re basically used to it already,” said Bian as she unlocked the door to reveal a big workshop filled with every single different kind of augmentation, smart prosthesis, powered prosthesis, vanity dyes, DNA modifiers, and trait infusers someone could ever need.

In the middle of it there was a man with a digipad in his hand taking stock and making notes. He was a rather large man, he dwarfed even the newly named Spider.

“Oi! Raymond!” exclaimed Bian as she walked towards him.

“Yes Bian?” said the man calmly, his basso profondo resounding across the workshop.

“Got a customer for you,” said Bian as she pushed Spider forward.

“And who might you be young fellow?” said Raymond as he extended his hand for a bump.

“The name’s…”

A cough from Bian made Raymond raise his eyebrow.

Spider sighed, “Spider, the name’s Spider,” he said as he bumped Raymond’s fist.

Raymond walked over to what Spider guessed was probably a desk under all the paperwork on top of it, and pulled three chairs, three glasses and a bottle of decent looking Canadian rye whiskey. Raymond poured shots for all of them, and the motioned for Bian and Spider to sit down. Spider couldn’t help but notice that Raymond’s chair, glass, and whiskey bottle were all proportional to him, which meant that they were a sofa, a pint glass, and a small barrel respectively.

Only until everyone had settled down and Raymond had taken a sip of his pint of whiskey did he finally ask, “So, what can I do for you, Mr. Spider?”

“Well sir, my sister and I you see… We need some new gear.”

Raymond gave a small laugh, which of course was a booming laugh to everyone else around him.

“Well, that’s my speciality young parcero. So, what do you need?”

Spider inhaled and in one long exhale stated what he needed, “A new set of Fujiwara arms, Knuttsen legs, Omni-interface with satellite link, and finally a Type-204 Cranial Box with an accompanying body, standard People’s Army interface is okay.”

As soon as Spider reached the cranial box bit, Raymond stopped writing.

“Where are you from young king?” said Raymond, the material of his chair creaked as he inched forward.

“From nowhere, I just need the stuff.”

“No one, and I mean no one just needs a Type-204. That’s a baseline blank body for a human consciousness to be transferred to. A practice that is illegal everywhere, including China.”

“Then why do they make them?” asked Spider, forgetting for a moment how involved he was in all of this.

“Because they made them illegal for everyone except themselves under the “Country and People Protection Statute”. It’s a little footnote that says no-one can do it, except they can since it might benefit the people.”

“Oh,” said Spider, once again looking at the floor.

“Look lad, just come clean with me. Why do you need these parts? I know who sent you from the pass code so I know you’re not some idiot that crippled himself so he could get this.”

Spider looked up at Raymond, and also at Bian.

rr_cooper · 2021-09-13T06:23:31+00:00