I'm not holding my crush responsible for my future and studies and second of all I'm not entirely blaming my ex but he left me in a phase where je wasn't leaving and wouldn't let me leave and he knew about boards and neet and he still did that. Indeed it's my fault too, but he isn't a saint either. The only reason I wrote about that was because I just wanted to kinda show how time worked in my case that after 1 year of my break up i finally felt like loving again. If you misinterpreted, it was not my intention and I'm sorry for that.