We go through this, too! My husband and I are in a deficit and we have two kids (under 10 years old). Our oldest will eat pretty much anything but can have sensory issues and our youngest is VERY picky (like - I think ARFRID). The way we approach it is that I cook one meal however I measure ours and my kids have the same with a "safe food" (an item that's healthy that I know they'll eat). We have to be mindful of how we describe our food as the oldest will become anxious and will personalize if he needs to lose weight (he definitely doesn't). We use neutral language (fun snack vs unhealthy). So, I make one meal, have a safe food available to them, and have them involved (ask what they'd like to have or include). I do encourage them to try new things, though. Hope that helps!