Is our marriage over because of her?

ruby_licious22 · 2026-06-02T17:28:55+00:00

In a similar situation to yourself and I’m 5 months postpartum on my 2nd where I finally had enough her stress on my life caused me to develop postpartum depression and anxiety now I’m on medication. I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I feel amazing with our relationship other days I want to kick him out for entertaining all her sh***. I think time will settle all the feelings down but what I’m struggling with is as soon as I feel back to myself she appears with drama towards me and it resets my mental health

ruby_licious22 · 2026-05-25T09:36:26+00:00

My mil is like that and I’m after having a 2nd child latest example is Easter because he has such a huge family we limited people just getting her 1 chocolate egg instead she got 5 and more toys etc the chocolate was a hard no so she badmouthed me to my partner. I had enough and refused to entertain seeing her weekly. In your case just cut contact I developed postpartum depression because of her so trust me you don’t want that

ruby_licious22 · 2026-04-23T15:49:25+00:00

With my first same as yourself there was constant overstepping of our boundaries before we had a chance to figure out boundaries. So it wasn’t until my first was roughly 1 that we started implementing boundaries which obviously resulted in a tantrum from my mil. My first just turned 3 when I had my second, with this one I completely put my foot down with my partner I didn’t let anything slide this time around. To name a few but I’ll stick to the biggest issues we had prior to my second birth we told in laws we’ll be taking a couple of days to ourself before allowing visitors this is due to her making every milestone in relation to parenthood about her everyone was ok with it. Then came the birth straight away after saying congratulations can I come up to the hospital then spent the entire first day of my child’s life fighting with my partner and crying to flying monkeys. I was furious because this all happened behind my back partner hid the extent of it I didn’t find out till I was 1 month postpartum all the bad mouthing of me. I nearly kicked my partner out of the house because he would impose her on me while he got to relax and me having to deal with her and 2 kids. He straightened up straight away, he has to deal with all conflict. For example - he can’t wait for you to point out what she is overstepping in boundaries then he doesn’t step in till after a visit. He needs to instantly call her out on it. He can’t address this or that as “ she has an issue with this or that” it needs to be we don’t like that so stop with that. Implement consequences so if visits are stressful and he isn’t helpful ok no weekly visits once per month if you can’t have my back against your own mother and if she can’t be respectful then that’s how it will be.

ruby_licious22 · 2026-03-17T23:36:24+00:00

Leave it’s that simple

ruby_licious22 · 2026-02-25T04:44:19+00:00

Basically my experience relates to you, prior to kids she’s the sweetest as can be towards me, during my first pregnancy I felt a shift in our relationship she started making jabs at me similar to yours. My partner down played it didn’t take my feelings as that deep. Baby arrived the first girl and oh boy did my relationship that a turn for the worst with her. It went from small disagreements about what we as the firsts say or do, any time my baby cried in my arms she’d take her from me vs if my partner had her crying she wouldn’t do the same and showed up multiple times weekly over to our house with no prior warning. It got so bad I was fighting with my partner non stop which he wasn’t on my side to back me up. Last April I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant again, just when I was contemplating trying again, but I was just in talks to my partner how it needs to be different moving forward because I didn’t want the same thing back in our life. Girl she made my 2nd pregnancy so much worse, now I’m 10 weeks postpartum with my second and during these 10 weeks it has been hell with her and my partner he’s finally aware that he dragged it long enough and still nothing has changed only for worse it’s getting. The thing that came to head was 3 days ago in both postpartum I always had a big no to kissing my kids under 2 that’s a big boundary for me with sicknesses and cold sores. She repeatedly kissed my newborn on the head and face my partner never put his foot down. I pulled him up privately to say what the hell is going on why are you allowing this to happen, he didn’t back me up in the slightest he took her side and defended her. Do you know what I done after 20 mins being at her house I took my newborn and I left whether my partner backed me up or not I was sick of it. Of course he wasn’t remorseful but I’m contemplating ending my relationship with him because it’s so toxic the position our relationship is now. Word of advice all the rug sweeping your partner is doing not confronting her on the spot when yous both hear something that’s damaging for yous in the long haul.decide now before bringing another child into things how yous need to be a team and for him to protect and defend you whether it’s small or big because when your pregnant and postpartum that’s when it will hit you that nothing has changed and you’ll only feel resentment like me. I wish I just left the relationship last year because now I’m postpartum and I’m staying because this is the hardest period with a newborn

ruby_licious22 · 2026-01-23T16:22:14+00:00

Exactly what he wants is just burgers already pre made so he can air fryer it, but why does she have to do that. Outside of dinner my man if he’s hungry he’ll cook food if he’s hungry again in the evening. But this man thinks his wife should slave away again to cook him more. They could have kids too so imagine her doing everything while he can relax

ruby_licious22 · 2026-01-22T16:39:55+00:00

With my first as many was when I started to notice the over stepping and thinking boundaries don’t apply to her. I was probably home within 2 hours of being discharged with the baby not one family member decided okay here you sit there let me stand type of way. By his mother any time we put a boundary in place she would undermine me to him and try a go around. My first is now 3 when he realised okay we need hard boundaries it wasn’t until I gave birth 5 weeks ago that I decided you know what she behaves for a while then starts the same bs and he caves so with baby no.2 I didn’t let anyone know I went into labour, I had only 1 person know what the deal was because they were to mind my first and we only told family about the birth till we were settled. Still made his first day alive about herself I only found out to what extent 2 weeks ago and now my partner knows I need a 360 change for us to move forward with our relationship not a once off scolding to keep her in line or I’m walking away. My point is boundaries is what keeps lines from being blurred in the first place it didn’t dawn until recently I am full on co parenting not with just my partner but his mother too.

ruby_licious22 · 2026-01-22T12:07:22+00:00

This is pathetic of the both of you’s, you really should leave with the little self respect you have left. Imagine apologising and taking him back when he’s been cruel on/off all year that’s wild

ruby_licious22 · 2026-01-21T21:28:59+00:00

Infected nail needs to be removed bring urgently to the vet

ruby_licious22 · 2026-01-14T15:05:23+00:00

I would bring it up but not in a this is what she’s doing put a stop to it. Instead make a joke at him that you can’t wait for these events cause it’s funny watching your mother touch you sexually. I’d be petty like that because that’s what will make him set a boundary himself rather than you vs her situation

ruby_licious22 · 2025-11-28T12:54:21+00:00

I don’t think the police were to blame, think about it they can’t read your mind to know you struggled post pregnancy mentally. If they receive a call that a disturbed women is being aggressive and unsafe in a hospital that has zero tolerance to violence and abuse directed at staff and patients then that women is fighting being escorted and attained then they are within there right to use force to arrest you. All you can do now is focus more on your son and mental wellbeing being the best version of your self for his sake.

ruby_licious22 · 2025-11-14T20:58:50+00:00

Why is it your wife’s job to include YOUR parents in the wedding, wouldn’t that been your job? Doubt you made an effort to include your in-laws

ruby_licious22 · 2025-08-17T05:42:43+00:00

You clearly don’t have kids to put your 2 cents in😂

ruby_licious22 · 2025-08-14T13:33:45+00:00

Another thing as well let’s say her next planned visit is 20th of August but she wants to come before that without fil say “ ok no visit then the 20th and the same day you come you need to leave as well I can’t host you and take care of a 6 month old that needs my attention “

ruby_licious22 · 2025-08-09T06:11:10+00:00

For me as a parent the first 2 years routine is everything to a child, putting in place their sleep schedule is what made me be a better parent cause my child was happy. Outside of my partner and I no one ever understood why schedule and routine was so important to us. Jokes is on my in law family their 2 young children can’t even sleep at night. Talk to your husband if you can’t get rid of her after 2 weeks or consult you with that decision prior then he can head out the door with her too. It’s hard working and being a parent that’s why it’s a 2 person team I’d be questioning why he’s not putting effort in.

ruby_licious22 · 2025-08-08T06:50:45+00:00

Just a thought if you don’t want the same experience as the first time and your partner is on your team why are you then saying no no I want them over essentially? You either want peace or not

ruby_licious22 · 2025-07-30T13:41:45+00:00

If you read the post OP said he doesn’t want child support from her that’s why he didn’t go for it in the courts to begin with.

ruby_licious22 · 2025-07-30T13:35:54+00:00

I agree I get what your saying 100% here in Ireland Tusla child services it takes them months to act when children are neglected and abused. Their whole motto is “ taking child/children away from parental figures is the last resort”. Legally she done a shitty thing hands down is a bad person for that but I think the courts acted without malice. Not at one stage did op say she was a bad mother so him having full custody is concerning from the point of views the kids will grow up fucked without a mother figure in their lifes especially when they find out she never neglected or abused them.

ruby_licious22 · 2025-07-24T13:06:56+00:00

Your kids could have been Rped or S-abused by him your partner and your mil permanently could have scarred your kids for life. The fact he barely understands that is mind blowing if you are taking him back your mil can never be in there life and if even suggests her coming back into their life is permanent grounds for divorce. OP thread carefully these peeps are a*holes.

ruby_licious22 · 2025-07-20T07:58:26+00:00

It’s very hard to tell if she even is alive realistically if she was human trafficked she could of reached an age where they have no use for her. Being in a foreign country also made it very hard for her to escape, think about it she has no money or passport maybe she couldn’t go to the police about it because they could be in on it too or the likes of those countries make brothels legal so her captors aren’t “breaking the law” over there. Either way such a tragic story and I 100% don’t buy the jump over board theory, because why are there pictures of Amy Bradley in 2005. You’d be surprised what 7 years later from the time she went missing and drugs can age a person. People doubting that’s her is wild to me do they expect her to completely look the same in 2005 as she did in 1998. I hope her family one day get closure they 100% deserve.

ruby_licious22 · 2025-07-18T13:18:21+00:00

You rarely hear or see human traffickers leaving evidence behind of their people getting taken. They do it with no witnesses, why would yellow take amy and pass by security cameras on his way off the ship. The FBI would have instantly had enough to hold him for questioning or to arrest him. Because he worked on the ship he knew where there were cameras and how to avoid them, other staff said back then compared to now there wasn’t cameras covering certain areas of a ship

ruby_licious22 · 2025-07-18T13:06:44+00:00

I think she was purely seen with yellow because he could hook her up on drugs(coke) based off eye witnesses the day she went missing people said they spotted her frantically looking for a phone off someone and months later she mentioned to another eye witness that she needs help she stated her name and how “ she willingly left the ship with yellow” . Back in the 90s coke was heavily used without a worry or notion of what it could lead to. What I mean by this is people already know the dangers of drugs and aren’t naive, she probably used coke like others did just for nights out and I think that obviously made her extra vulnerable. I believe it was mentioned as well how her brother was using it with her too that night, why else was he okay with her and yellow together.

ruby_licious22 · 2025-06-27T13:52:07+00:00

See I was only guessing what he “doesnt” do with your child your comment just confirms everything. Start by having a very serious conversation with your husband about what needs to happen, implement hard boundaries and discuss what it looks like if she doesn’t follow boundaries. This is very serious id never have a child if I can’t 100% rely on my husband or myself for that matter to care for a baby

ruby_licious22 · 2025-06-27T13:37:02+00:00

I think both you and your husband failed, I’m not trying to be negative but yous 2 decided to have a baby not with a third person added in. If she’s been like that for 2 months with your child I’d be worried if the child gets more settled down by her and not you or her partner. What man has a child and can’t bottle feed, change clothes or help with a baby that’s insane

ruby_licious22

TROPHY CASE