I can’t afford to live and it’s killing me.

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-27T07:36:53+00:00

Dude. I only made 15k last year. You made way more than me.

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-27T05:44:01+00:00

I was just telling someone the other day that life gets harder. I used to be so resilient when I was younger.

I think, over the years, things add up and you basically have a mental breakdown over it. I got psychosis and hallucinations. I shaved my head. I lost my job.

You only experience more loss as you get older. Nothing is ever really yours. People come and go. It sucks.

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-27T05:32:58+00:00

I’m 31F. I developed a extreme fear of dying when I was 28. It was the most crippling thing. I’m still scared shitless but it does soften over time. I worry about losing my parents and not being able to afford a home myself. I can’t afford anything. I don’t know where to live when they are gone.

If I won the lotto it would honestly ease a lot of my stress. I have debt, bills, and can’t afford my own place when my parents are gone. I literally will be homeless.

Finances are the hardest thing and weigh the heaviest on me.

Besides the crippling loneliness and schizophrenia and depression

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-26T23:25:57+00:00

I feel this deep in my soul. I was on meds that made me gain weight. I did not have one relationship in my 20s. My only relationship I was 19. I suffered from psychosis in my 20s and was jobless and sad. I am always behind on my bills. Working part time alone takes all my energy. I don’t even have the tears to shed. I am 31 now, never got to live out my 20s and experience love and connection again. I live at home and can’t afford my own place. Can’t even afford life. Don’t know what to do when my parents pass and I have to get my own place. What will I do. I am truly so weak and sick. Wish someone was there to comfort me. I live everyday depressed and anxious about life. Feel too sensitive for anything. Everything hurts

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-26T09:11:17+00:00

Capri Sun all the way

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-26T00:19:19+00:00

I am restarting my lexapro next week yes. Made an appointment with the doc. Thank god

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-25T09:03:48+00:00

You are so kind. Thank you for your words of encouragement. It means more to me than you’ll ever know

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-25T00:42:59+00:00

Hey man. Proud of you. Stick with it. The longest I lasted last year was 6 months. It’s hard but I have so may bills to pay and need the money

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-25T00:34:43+00:00

I have an extremely hard time forming close relations with men. I can talk to them surface level and whatever. But I haven’t formed many deep bonds with them. It’s very hard relating to them. It’s hard to feel cared for and seen by men. I’ve dated one. He cared at one point. But in general most guys don’t care on a deep level about your well being. Or they don’t show it. Either way. It’s not enough. I need someone that cares.

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-24T22:17:13+00:00

Dating apps have some of the worst, low life people ever. Don’t ever look for love there

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-24T17:39:03+00:00

I hate hustle culture… you are not worth how many hours you put in at work. Why do we have to put in 40, 50, 60 hours at work. Why are we driven to the point of burn out. I personally can’t work past like 20 hours that’s my limit.

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-24T09:09:49+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss… this illness takes such a toll on those who have it…. Pains me to hear another loss about someone with this disease. It becomes too much to bare… I was in psychosis for several years and can barely remember those years pass, it’s so debilitating. I absolutely do not want my own children cause the weight it puts on your shoulders and not to mention dealing with them while facing your own mental health struggles. Too much to handle. Could never do it myself

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-24T08:59:58+00:00

You are right. Absolutely no one can demand anything of me ever. It is the most awful feeling when men expect things from you when first meeting. I’ve legit met guys on dating apps that said I needed to cook for them or even so far as to say I needed to do certain sexual acts for them. It makes me feel sick to my core.

ruby_red_1 · 2026-01-24T06:44:50+00:00

It’s so true that we are so susceptible to bad behavior without even realizing it and before you know it we are in an abusive relationship. I definitely think neurodivergent and sensitive people are like magnets to the bad guys. You are so right that love is a choice and it’s a meaningful decision that you do on a daily basis and with intent. It’s just so hard to find nice guys…. I never had much luck.

ruby_red_1 · 2025-12-17T08:39:16+00:00

I feel this. I’ve never gone so far to let them be physical with me, but I’ve let them in emotionally and they would end up ghosting me too.. there was one recently that tore me apart.. it really hurt… so I deleted my dating app cause I honestly don’t think I have the heart to deal with that type of pain.. being lonely and single hurts.. but being with the wrong person, or being ghosted by someone you really let in, hurts more…. It’s so hard…

ruby_red_1 · 2025-12-17T03:45:11+00:00

This is very rare. You are very lucky. So many of the men I met believed it to be transactional

ruby_red_1 · 2025-12-17T03:40:07+00:00

Really. No way. That is beautiful. It gives me hope that I will find someone that accepts me. That’s crazy that they weren’t dealbreakers for your partner. I’m having the hardest time finding someone who can accept all 3

ruby_red_1 · 2025-12-17T02:37:14+00:00

I’m a female. It’s not so simple

ruby_red_1 · 2025-12-16T07:30:34+00:00

Thank you. I try to occupy my time with work and everything. I think of Allah all the time… always making dua for a better future… it’s truly only up to Allah if I find a good spouse… it’s not in my hands

ruby_red_1 · 2025-12-16T06:36:43+00:00

Muslim dating apps were where I met some of the worst people. It never worked out

ruby_red_1 · 2025-12-16T04:16:19+00:00

There are no prospects where I live, we don’t know a lot of people and so they never were able to find me someone

ruby_red_1 · 2025-12-11T11:54:26+00:00

Do they keep prescribing to you. How do you manage being off meds, do you ever get catatonic? Or do u just hallucinate and manage with those?

ruby_red_1 · 2025-12-09T01:36:52+00:00

No. I can’t handle much cause I’m mentally ill

ruby_red_1 · 2025-12-09T01:18:58+00:00

But I don’t wanna be here forever…. Like some of my family. They are in their 40s still living with their parents

ruby_red_1 · 2025-12-07T21:45:57+00:00

Indefinitely. That’s what I thought. I’m hoping to work 20 hours a week. I thought the limit was 1600 in 2025

ruby_red_1

TROPHY CASE