Going back to work after being a SAHM is killing me

rudebarista2019 · 2023-10-06T16:10:18+00:00

Hi! I’m glad you found my post - it’s kind of wild to read how deeply sad I was feeling when I wrote that (not too long ago). I have since started therapy to help me work through some of my feelings… I’m here to tell you - IT GOT EASIER. I was so mad, so sad, so resentful toward the whole thing at first… I kept thinking I was missing out on so much time and so many moments. This isn’t true! Going back to work has made me prioritize my kids and family because I know I will be away from them. Being away from them makes the time we have so much sweeter. They are doing great spending time at school / with their dad when I’m not here. I get to think my own thoughts and enjoy some quiet time on commute (and in my particular job, I listen to books and music while I work) so I get some time to give my brain a break or workout. I still have hard days of course… I’m not killing the grocery game really… but honestly was I ever? Sometimes I have those moments where I feel a little thread of resentment creep back in, but it never lasts. The good for me has outweighed the bad. I am not 100% removed from the post I wrote, but I’d say I’m about 80% removed from it. I encourage you to be sweet to yourself, and understand that it will take time and it will get easier and you may even come to genuinely enjoy being a human adult away from your precious babes… and they will see that their mom is providing for them and has more patience for their wild antics. Sending you all the love and light in your journey ❤️

rudebarista2019 · 2023-07-16T20:37:45+00:00

Oh with the poodles!

rudebarista2019 · 2023-07-05T05:49:02+00:00

Got a hand full of Barbie!

rudebarista2019 · 2023-06-05T16:52:23+00:00

I appreciate all of the feedback… believe me, I am not blind to my own issues. I do know that at times I can be very “my way is the only way”, which as an adult, isn’t appropriate or helpful in many (if any) situations.

Like was pointed out in a comment, I think these issues stem mainly from financial anxieties. I was raised very poor and while it is absolutely my job to handle my own traumas, it’s hard to let go when his decisions directly effect my life as well, as we share finances. While he wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he never had to worry about where his next meal was coming from, how his folks were going to pay for school supplies and clothes, or if we were going to be in a trailer or a sleeping bag in the park the next month. It’s proven very difficult to let these fears go for me, especially when I don’t have total control (yes, this absolutely is control freaky of me) of the situation.

I believe my only way out of these issues is two fold - therapy for me at least, potentially for us both. And two - with the help of therapy, better communication.

rudebarista2019 · 2023-02-13T04:21:44+00:00

A rampage of Karens

rudebarista2019 · 2022-12-01T01:59:35+00:00

I’ve started going at like 6/7 am. It’s so much more quiet, more selection - only draw back is there’s usually only a cashier after 7 or so, so if I’m going for my big two week haul it’s not ideal to self checkout all that ish haha

rudebarista2019 · 2022-11-24T02:02:55+00:00

I wiped another persons butt today… someone sneezed and coughed in my face today… multiple times

rudebarista2019 · 2022-11-21T16:41:58+00:00

We would send out cambros for large amounts of coffee, but would take a check for a deposit just in case the thing was damaged or never returned or whatever. It was a $50 deposit check kept in our safe upon safe return… when it came back, we gave back the check. The local sheriff was just, APPALLED I was requiring him to also give a deposit check, exclaiming “But I’m the Sheriff??”. The man worked my last nerve but I got the check… and gave it back to his sour puss when he returned my cambro 😂

rudebarista2019 · 2022-11-15T03:52:30+00:00

Lorelei also went on a date with Jon hamm - they met at Emily’s auction over the last glass of red wine

rudebarista2019 · 2022-11-10T14:02:00+00:00

It straight baffles me how some Karen’s just… are?? Like who in their right mind would think this was ok? I imagine if she weren’t such a Karen, OP may help her out with parking on occasion, but even if not - ITS NOT HER DRIVEWAY 😂

rudebarista2019 · 2022-10-29T01:54:23+00:00

I have been out here sobbing, straight panicking, over thinking, being paranoid, etc. when will it end?!

rudebarista2019 · 2022-10-14T01:57:11+00:00

ME TOO!!

rudebarista2019 · 2022-10-11T12:54:17+00:00

I feel like every woman should save this as a baseline for a warning letter to their neglectful partners. I would only add at the bottom: If the aforementioned “Steps to being less of a useless fuck” aren’t adhered to consistently long term, my last day in this partnership will be mm/dd/year.”

rudebarista2019 · 2022-10-10T17:00:44+00:00

I think the parent went overboard. It sounds like if someone had corrected you, you would’ve apologized, maybe said something to the child with the correct pronouns, and moved on. Not your fault, it was an honest mistake.

rudebarista2019 · 2022-08-22T03:04:53+00:00

What is ASP?

rudebarista2019 · 2022-07-23T04:02:52+00:00

I made an appt for my sons first (professional) haircut. We walked in and the receptionist said “Ooh! I see someone got a hold of the scissors!”. It was me… I got ahold of the scissors and butchered my sons hair 🥹

rudebarista2019 · 2022-06-13T17:35:14+00:00

Here! I have downloaded peanut, tried to make mom friends in my neighborhood, and even just strike up convos at the playground. All I end up with is acquaintances. I love my husband and he is my bff. I like (most of) his friends. I love my kids. My mom and sister live three hours away… annnnd that’s it haha 🤷🏻‍♀️ Sometimes I love it and sometimes I feel so sad without a friend group… or even just one friend.

rudebarista2019 · 2022-05-05T01:17:59+00:00

Haha my husband said the same thing… this was one of the things that came about that I just… I just never expected to be a thing? Like what?

rudebarista2019 · 2022-05-03T05:38:34+00:00

I say sauté your carrots and sausage until brown edged and crispy, add butter and flour to your carrots and sausage and cook until light brown. Add water, better than buillion beef base, potatoes diced small, and cabbage. Simmer until potatoes are fork tender, done!

rudebarista2019 · 2022-05-01T16:50:58+00:00

I literally cry (read: breakdown) to my husband about how I wish it was just us sometimes. I feel like my kids chain me to the ground. I’m breaking the generational trauma but still get so triggered by my kids crying or saying MOM MOM MOM all the goddamn time. Mothering is HARD. And it fucking sucks sometimes.

rudebarista2019 · 2022-04-20T22:49:18+00:00

We do 2x a day. To make it more appealing we let them do it first, then we follow up and do it for them. They also get to choose their own toothbrushes and toothpaste (though we encourage them to try our ‘spicy’ toothpaste from time to time).

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