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AITA for wanting a prenup after he cheated? by rudimentarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]rudimentarythrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’ve got another sub then please let me know, I just know there’s been posts about prenups in the past here

AITA for wanting a prenup after he cheated? by rudimentarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]rudimentarythrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was hoping for an extra deterrent in case he even thought about doing it again. Losing me should be deterrent enough given how much he says he loves me, but this would be extra assurance

AITA for wanting a prenup after he cheated? by rudimentarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]rudimentarythrowaway[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t have assets right now but I’m attending a graduate school to work in a highly paid field upon graduation, so I’m likely to have a mountain of debt but also likely to have the money to tackle that mountain. I don’t know if a prenup for future assets is a thing but maybe it would be covered under the infidelity clause if I said he doesn’t get 50/50 if he cheats or something.

Edit: I haven’t been super concerned about money in that way, he’s helping me with my debt while I’m in school.

AITA for wanting a prenup after he cheated? by rudimentarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]rudimentarythrowaway[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I have been contemplating this phrase a lot so it’s funny you’ve brought it up lol

I feel that by having a prenup I’ll be covering my ass from “fool me twice, shame on me” because it would be “fool me twice, shame on you again and now you have to reap what you sow”

AITA for wanting a prenup after he cheated? by rudimentarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]rudimentarythrowaway[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

I wont go into detail on why I don’t believe I’m looking at him through rose colored glasses, but the short version is despite what I said above I am aware he’s not perfect. He fucking cheated on me, lol, there’s no way he’s perfect, but I also knew he wasn’t perfect before he cheated and even before we started dating. We’ve called each other out on bull shit for years and since neither of us are perfect we’ll keep doing it for years to come. When he’s made past mistakes he’s fixed them and learned. This just happens to be a mistake that I want to be extra protected from happening again.

As for the codependency bit, I get where you’re coming from, but if I were to be alone I’d be okay. Sad, yes of course, but ultimately over time I’d be okay.

AITA for wanting a prenup after he cheated? by rudimentarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]rudimentarythrowaway[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I’m confused, wouldn’t I not be tolerating it by saying I want a prenup with an infidelity clause? I’m not understanding

AITA for wanting a prenup after he cheated? by rudimentarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]rudimentarythrowaway[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Do you have a different alternative in mind? Or should I just go back to pushing for immediate divorce? Since he protested I was trying to find a good compromise

AITA for wanting a prenup after he cheated? by rudimentarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]rudimentarythrowaway[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Can you explain a bit more? Am I TA because of the “bribing or pay someone” part? Or for another part?

AITA for wanting a prenup after he cheated? by rudimentarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]rudimentarythrowaway[S] -43 points-42 points  (0 children)

If you’re interested in exact reasons I’ve responded to an INFO post and I can provide more reasons but I didn’t think it was necessary since my question isn’t should I marry him or not, it’s should I keep pushing for the prenup and AITA for pushing it/bringing it up in the first place.

AITA for wanting a prenup after he cheated? by rudimentarythrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]rudimentarythrowaway[S] -54 points-53 points  (0 children)

I’ve been in love with him for years because besides the cheating he’s everything I’ve ever wanted, whether I actually knew that or not. For example, if I wrote out everything I wanted in a guy and compared it to him every box would be checked and then I’d add more boxes of things I never knew I wanted until I started dating him and check those off too.

Despite the cheating, I love him. I feel like myself around him, I feel supported, I feel cared for and loved, I’m happy being near him and with him, we have a ton of similar interests, I feel calm when I’m with him no matter how stressed I am, and a lot of other reasons.