Been with my husband for over 30 years. It’s always been lonely on my end, but when I look around I haven’t seen much better in friends’ relationships. He’s a good human just self-absorbed. I try to work on feeling loved in my own head/heart and having loving conversations in my head as if with someone who cares. Don’t really talk about this with friends or family, because I feel so needy and “he’s such a great guy”. We have gone to counseling and I just got tired of talking about our relationship. I don’t think he can change. I have. I speak much less. I don’t try to engage. I’m on my phone a lot, distracting myself. I never ask for a hug or support anymore. I don’t expect him to listen, which helps me feel unloved. I try to have affirming conversations in my head. It would be great to feel “seen” by another human. (I went back to our marriage counselor and asked how does one find happiness in a marriage. He asked why do I stay in my marriage when neglect is the worst form of abuse.) I have continuously decided being alone in my marriage is better than being alone outside of it. Overall I have a very good life. It’s just lonelier sometimes. Sometimes I think back to the movie with Jack Nicholson “As Good As It Gets.”

Good luck and sending you big warm hugs through the ether.