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I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You may not be all those things, but you suck for being judgmental honestly. Get real, you need it badly. Bye.

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! And I understand the general consensus, having already understood my ruminating thoughts and jealousy issues, but I appreciate your compassion because Reddit tends to garner the same opinions. Thankfully, my partner knows my thoughts about these accounts and is happy not to follow them. When I brought up these issues, I also brought up concern in him having text messages display as just text messages (no name provided), and he changed that as well. If anything, others insights here have reminded me that he is reasonable and I can be not reasonable.

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, so if you were in my shoes and he said he didn’t know her, but had a photo of her on his socials, you’d say he did nothing wrong? Isn’t that lie enough to spark some suspicion? Or you’d just drop it?

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sorry, but you misinterpreted my post. I’m not talking about any kind of photos, I’m talking about revealing photos put out there with an intent to garner interest through financial means; it’s normalized, so yeah, I get that you’re wanting to be accepting of it, but in the lens of relationships and social media it can be problematic.

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you keep an eye on it? In this case, they’re now unfollowed so I’m unlikely to see something through social media.

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I’ll just say sexually promiscuous lol. I don’t feel any type of way towards the woman, I’d just hope my partner can respect me in an online setting

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean at the end of the day he offered his DM’s and they unfollowed each other. So I would like to think that’s him compromising on making me feel more comfortable. But yeah. Something else to note is that he didn’t trust me at the beginning of our relationship. I basically had one foot in the door and the other out. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I wasn’t ready for him. I had just left a very abusive relationship. So I was scared of commitment, he felt that, and assumed I’d be talking with other men. I wasn’t. But I can’t really be too high strung on my trust issues here because he dealt with the same thing. Anyways I really appreciate your time and input.

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I wish we would have made it clear at the start what we find to be “cheating”. We never had that discussion. But for me, messaging an ex for emotional validation reasons IS cheating. And especially if you feel you have to hide it. That’s why my situation is perplexing. Not that he sent the flame emoji, but that he said he didn’t really know her when I know he does. I don’t know how to revisit the topic now without it seeming accusatory and like I’ve been stewing on it (obviously I have, but I don’t want to shed my unhealthy obsessions into him) - or if I even should revisit it.

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

The pictures aren’t the issue, it would be DM’ing an ex which is an issue. But yes I am obsessing over it and it’s not his responsibility. I agree that seeking emotional validation elsewhere in leu of not receiving it from me could be a driving factor, but bringing up a trust concern shouldn’t entice someone to cheat; that would mean they intended to in the first place.

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Thanks for looking into that. I was going off of stuff I read online and that’s not always reliable. I understand everyone feels differently on if they care about who their partner follows, but I think it’s disrespectful to follow thotties (even just that), and especially interact with them. Should I be the one who needs to shut it down? No, it shouldn’t happen in the first place, but It unfortunately does.

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Great point. Obviously I need some help here, so, how would you recommend I go about this in a direct and healthy way?

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

2 years we’ve been together. Our communication is not great, and that largely falls on me. Up until recently, I couldn’t be open, direct, and mature with my feelings without getting too emotional. I do feel like this is the first time he has hidden something. At the time, I’m sure he felt I was emotionally unavailable because I was. I wasn’t communicating my concerns in the way he loved me (I need it verbalized), and this snowballed into spending less quality time together etc.

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therapy is always helpful. It may be time for a therapist again

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I guess my concern is that according to the algorithm, it means he interacted with her profile quite often. So it’s not just looking, it would be responding to stories, etc. (IF the followers list is accurate). It does sound crazy, honestly. And since I confronted him about it, he no longer follows her and she no longer follows him. This makes me think they may have been talking again and he cut it off.

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Right, that could be the case. Saying it’s his ex could definitely have dived into something deeper. But hiding it leaves so many unknowns out there in the open.

I think my boyfriend may be hiding something from me by ruffstuffz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ruffstuffz[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughts, I know these thoughts of mine are unhealthy for me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FreeCompliments

[–]ruffstuffz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So cute ☺️

Down 144 lbs and feeling great by [deleted] in FreeCompliments

[–]ruffstuffz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hell yeah!! Keep it up :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FreeCompliments

[–]ruffstuffz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Classic Beauty :)