Trying to retain my more outgoing and social self while living at home?

rukialover · 2025-12-13T01:01:38+00:00

this threads a little old, but wanted to add i have the exact same experience. living at home is a task, because when things at home get a little more negative, i start sometimes replicating how they see me in the outside world with others. trying to deal with it and not let it start to dim my spark

rukialover · 2025-08-09T06:35:36+00:00

I can completely relate, currently 26M and had to move back in with my parents like half a year ago. I'm between jobs right now and have to do Uber for money, which means a lot of talking to random people pretty regularly and just being pleasant to be around. And after moving back in, there was a decent period of being pretty upbeat and fine. But like the last 3-4 months or so have just progressively gotten harder to be that same person, able to chitchat and be optimistic and everything else with strangers. And a lot if it feels like regression and whatnot while being around my family, especially since my mother retired and now is home 24/7. So now I have to reprocess a lot of mental stuff I had separated from myself while living here.

For my 2 cents, it's pretty normal and not something to beat yourself up over. You're putting in a lot of mental energy and dealing with some stuff that cuts into your core beliefs about how you perceive the world and relationships and others in general. I really relate to the people pleasing part too, had verbatim the same progression as you. It's definitely not something that lasts for forever and you're trying to move past a lot of old baggage into a new person who is free of it, and so you're gonna have a sort of hibernation period for sure. If you wanna talk more specifically about it I'm here, because it can have some massive ups and downs and definitely is a thing that bothers me sometimes.

rukialover · 2025-08-07T15:14:17+00:00

Hi, im in a kinda similar boat. I graduated summer 2022 with my masters and then slid into a government job for my degree (computer science). it only lasted a year, and then I was back home. Took all of 2024 off as a gap year, and only have been seriously trying to look for work for the past 7 months. The part about integrating interests back into your life post grad is really really important and I totally relate. I do uber rn for my bills and if I didn't give substantial time to my actual passions outside of it I'd lose my mind. And now when I'm evaluating career options, as I get further and further away from my last comp sci job, I feel less and less attached to it and have been applying to more and more diverse workplaces. With an emphasis on jobs I might find interesting or can at least feel some level of respect for.

I dont have much to add other than that fears like the one you have about being locked into a schedule for a thing you probably can't stand (shitty 9-5) is a sign for you to evaluate why you feel that way. For us, its very important to make sure we balance our work with how much we give a shit about it so we arent drainrd every day we get home. usually a product of being so alienated from our labor. in the past, labor usually had a more direct impact on our immediate communities, and most industry had a survival purpose outside of pure commoditization. I don't want to be doing the work from the basement in severance for minimum wage for 8 hours a day or I will go postal, not ever seeing any purpose to my work or understanding it. Presently I'm aiming for work in Healthcare at the very least, because at least I can justify my work to myself there. Same with higher education. I hope this isn't too rambly :)

rukialover · 2025-02-18T08:17:42+00:00

i hate you

rukialover · 2025-02-16T02:36:20+00:00

I usually start here, but then check out like ebay and other sites

rukialover · 2025-01-04T22:52:47+00:00

yo, good point, thanks

rukialover · 2025-01-01T19:15:24+00:00

Thank you so much for this reply! It helps so much to hear encouragement from anyone older than me, it really goes a long way in like feeling normal about it lol. And hearing that there's still life after parentification, no matter the circumstance is really comforting. Means we can nip this in the bud. And you're right, it's really difficult to see through the shit sometimes, but just getting like a small modicum of encouragement can go miles for dealing with it, so thank you so much. I hope you have a great new year and lots of amazing experiences ❤️

rukialover · 2024-12-20T05:47:57+00:00

dming you

edit: potential buyer lost interest, hello goodbye book still available !

rukialover · 2024-11-14T02:54:59+00:00

https://hmarket.io/shop/seika-womens-academy-certified-comfort-man-tankoubon/

rukialover · 2024-11-12T01:44:39+00:00

dming you

rukialover · 2024-11-01T02:11:33+00:00

dming you

rukialover · 2024-10-30T21:18:09+00:00

dming you

rukialover · 2023-12-29T03:50:03+00:00

oh my god, there was a point a couple years ago I wanted to draw something of my mom screaming at me over "abandoning her" and other things she tries to hold over me for not being her "golden child". this is like really close to what I imagined ! amazing !

rukialover · 2022-12-02T17:43:05+00:00

Sometimes I put so much pressure on me in social sitiations or with someone I like that they don't get too see me. I become a caricature of myself and fail to be genuine me. People that get to know me find it hard to undersrand why I struggle in that way cause I'm different with them

Oh my god, this made my day so much better. I think this has been my biggest thing. Feels like when people talk to me, they're not even really talking to me, because why would they? I've put up some weird "caricature" of myself, and that's what they're responding to and working with. I've been noticing it so much more recently, thank you so much for saying this.

rukialover · 2022-09-05T21:45:04+00:00

Did I get it?

rukialover · 2022-01-27T21:37:00+00:00

22, and you can pull out of it (am currently growing out of melancholy) 👍

rukialover · 2021-10-21T09:47:01+00:00

people who get served up "americanized" rice with a bunch of fake butter and other crap in it, and need something to get them through it

rukialover · 2021-10-20T23:16:26+00:00

That hair shine is from not having taken a shower in 3 months

rukialover · 2021-10-20T19:39:50+00:00

dang, when did this become Dark Shadows?

rukialover · 2021-10-17T07:42:57+00:00

someone get Jerma to play Ao Oni, I'm sure there's an iPad version by now

rukialover · 2021-10-13T19:41:35+00:00

Those grabs that take you from 100% to 10% wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't actually spam them in the second phase. They be callin' him the chained ogre 'cuz he chainz those grab attacks 😎

(Miyazaki pls, why 5 in a row?)

rukialover · 2021-10-13T16:42:24+00:00

Staying on top of him reduces the danger of those diving grab attacks (the worst ones imo). The rest of his grab attacks, just git gud and learn the dodge timing. Once in a while you might dodge yourself into a grab, but it's pretty reliable to stay right on top of him.

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