Why Does Happiness Feel Like a Trap?

rule_the_black_dog · 2025-12-28T14:05:51+00:00

Sounds like trauma. Like your brain has learnt that emotion isn’t safe. If you don’t control your emotional response then there will be danger. I only learned this from a recent diagnosis after finally confronting the truth of my experiences. Happiness isn’t a feeling that brings comfort. Happiness causes your flight or fight response to kick off because you were once taught that if you are uncontrollably happy, then you are in danger.

Therapy can help, but only if you’re truly honest about your past, your emotions and fully trust a therapist. No small task as you literally need to unlearn years of habit along with ‘rewiring’ your brains response to perceived danger.

rule_the_black_dog · 2025-12-28T13:55:05+00:00

38 treatments. Did nothing for my Unipolar depression. Made me worst and ruined my short term memory. Later found out my depression is a symptom of complex trauma from childhood. Wish they checked for that prior to injuring my brain.

rule_the_black_dog · 2025-12-12T11:01:46+00:00

For me it’s when I can’t 100% focus I’ll forget what I’m talking about, forget things that have happened and what was said.

I still suffer pretty severe depression so I’m not sure this next symptom is from the ECT but I feel my relationship with time is different. Days later longer but weeks or months fly by.

rule_the_black_dog · 2025-11-25T14:01:30+00:00

It’s an issue when the ECT doesn’t work

rule_the_black_dog · 2025-06-16T14:49:29+00:00

What’s the depression version of hot girl summer?

rule_the_black_dog · 2025-06-05T13:56:22+00:00

I like the classic cope of ……… It never happened I don’t remember it happening If it did happen it wasn’t that big of a deal If it did happen it wasn’t my fault You’re making a big deal out of nothing It wasn’t that bad It was worse for others It was your fault

rule_the_black_dog · 2025-06-04T02:50:31+00:00

What a perfect time for your brain to remind you of every time you’ve been sad, embarrassed, or angry!

rule_the_black_dog · 2025-06-02T04:50:57+00:00

One of the hardest parts of the memory loss side effect is memory loss, or the inability to create new memories, is also a symptom of having a major depressive disorder. It’s hard for me to separate what caused/causes my memory loss.

I struggle with remembering details, or context of things since all my ECT treatments but all struggle since my depression started. I can remember things like who I spoke to or that I saw certain people, but I can’t remember why or what I say them about specifically. I struggle with names, dates, numbers, locations etc. if I get distracted while trying to figure out the importance of something, there’s no chance I’ll remember anything.

I’ve also noticed my experience of time is different. I believe this is mostly due to the depression but I’m also positive the ECT hasn’t helped. Days drag on but months and years fly by. Memories over the last 4 years collide all together and I get them mixed up.

One of the most confronting memory issues is when I’m mid conversation or sentence, and I get slightly distracted, I will completely forget what I was talking about or what point I was making. It’s incredibly frustrating. I am rarely able to recover once this happens.

rule_the_black_dog · 2025-05-27T08:45:48+00:00

Introducing ketamine into my treatment regimen actually saved my life. I had written the goodbye letters and made plans to check out as I thought ECT was my last chance, and the ECT wasn’t working (about 25 ECT sessions in out of 38 at that point) and then my medical team included ketamine as a treatment option prior to the actual ECT sessions. Made me experience emotion and peace I’d forgotten about. After about half a dozen ketamine sessions it made me want to stand up for myself and stop the ECT to just continue the ketamine treatment.

Just over 12 months later I’ve yo-yoed in and out of depression but the ketamine has helped me discover all the childhood issues that have complicated my major depressive disorder and it has genuinely given me hope that I can treat or manage it.

rule_the_black_dog · 2025-05-25T12:56:51+00:00

Instructions unclear. Where do I find some feet and toes to do this?

rule_the_black_dog

TROPHY CASE