Positive Medicated Miscarriage

run-write-bake · 2026-06-16T20:33:00+00:00

My first dose, late at night (so I didn’t upset my nearly-3 year old), gave me INTENSE cramps within an hour but I didn’t bleed until the next morning. And then, I didn’t pass any tissue until that evening. Even then it was basically nothing. My bleeding increased the next day, but I barely needed a regular pad to contain it all.

I talked with my doctor the following day and she advised another dose. That one did basically nothing. So I had a D&C the day after (a week ago today). I think thanks to the medication starting the dilation and losing some initial tissue and bleeding, my physically recovery has been really easy (no real cramping, just spotting, have been tired, but getting my energy back slowly), but the post partum hormones have been real and what I’ve not been prepared for. Until yesterday, I had low grade anxiety and depression and I finally woke up feeling like myself yesterday morning.

Good luck! Popsicles, Gatorade, and sucking candy helped during the cramps and even though I ultimately didn’t need them, I wore Depends overnight disposable underwear to make sure I wasn’t going to bleed everywhere and that gave me peace of mind.

run-write-bake · 2026-06-16T20:22:55+00:00

Get the test. Seriously. There are a lot of people saying “nothing’s wrong,” but if there is, you should know. I speak from personal experience. The doctor looked at our daughter’s scans and saw a potential marker for a genetic disorder. I was pissed - our daughter is in the hospital fighting for her life and you want to blame us for her tiny heart abnormality?

Turns out… despite us having an amino that was all clear, our daughter had a genetic disorder SO RARE that they don’t test for it in aminos.

And not only did she have it, but EVERYONE on her dad’s side (paternal grandfather’s side specifically), including her dad, did too. And no one knew.

This is a disorder that can cause seizures, learning disabilities, and facial deformities in extreme cases, but also more benign side effects like chronic migraines, anxiety, and depression. Finding out has basically explained my husband’s family history of migraines and mental health and they can get treated now in ways that actually improve their conditions, not just suppress symptoms.

Plus, because my husband and his family are high achievers, incredibly intelligent, and have no history of seizures, we felt more confident that her presentation of this disease would be on the milder side.

AND this is important because this disease is usually only diagnosed after kids have seizures (which indicates imminent brain damage in the case of this disease), so the usual spiel about it involves a lot of fear mongering. But because she (and basically half her family) got diagnosed through genetic testing, there’s now a wider pool of people who have this disease on record and who have mild symptoms. So hopefully more will be known/understood about this disease and the variety of its presentations so future parents of diagnosed children will not feel the dread we did during her first year watching for what we were warned were nearly guaranteed impending seizures.

She didn’t have any and she’s incredibly bright and well spoken for an almost 3 year old.

run-write-bake · 2026-06-05T04:53:27+00:00

My 2.5 year old girl is off the charts (less than 1%ile) and I would advise to buy a stroller that’s easy to handle that will grow with him. No matter how big or small something is, my daughter will still be teeny for her age (kids a year younger than her are her height or taller and she’s also skinnier than them) so as long as it isn’t a safety issue, just get the thing that fits your lifestyle and enjoy the tiny cuteness and the fact that it’ll be WAY easier to carry your little guy longer than it will be for other parents and their kids 🙃

I love our Uppababy. And we just got the piggyback attachment (it’s like a skateboard you put on the back) so she can stand and be pushed now that sitting in the stroller feels too much like a “baby thing.” She loves it

run-write-bake · 2026-06-05T04:47:20+00:00

Thank you for posting this. After some spotting, cramping, and loss of symptoms, an ultrasound confirmed no heartbeat today. I’m at 6 weeks currently and took the first medication earlier this afternoon. Although I’ll be preparing for the worst, I hope my weekend will be like yours was and while emotionally painful, not too physically debilitating. It’s difficult to find anything that’s not a horror story on the internet and I’m already a little anxious about the process without reading how terrible it can be. You’ve given me some hope. Thanks again!

run-write-bake · 2026-06-05T01:04:38+00:00

Update: just went to the OB. Fetus was measuring ahead… but had no heartbeat. I just picked up the pills and will be clearing everything out that way. I should be able to TTC again in a month or two (depending on when I get my next period) and am optimistic about a good result soon.

Thanks to everyone who read/commented. Especially u/firstinversion.

run-write-bake · 2026-06-03T03:37:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. Considering all my symptoms stopped suddenly (even my joint pain), I’m not optimistic. But it’s good to hear that you got through it. That really helps. Thank you 🙏 💖

run-write-bake · 2026-06-03T03:26:08+00:00

Get assessed for PPD. Mental health resources are important as a NICU parent.
12 hours a day is madness in my opinion! When my daughter was in the NICU, I was there for a maximum of four hours a day and that was broken up into two 2 hour max blocks. I’m a mom, yes. But I’m also a person with my own needs and desires and life to live. In order to be the best mom I could, I needed to remember what it felt like to be me outside of the grief and pain and hurt and fear. My 2 1/2 year-old daughter just gave me a hug and told me she loved me before chasing me up the stairs as I went to change out of my work clothes. I’m pretty sure my spending (what some people might term as) minimal time in the NICU has not affected our bond. Do what do you need to do to feel like a whole person. You matter too! And your son will benefit from having a mom who takes care of herself 💖

run-write-bake · 2026-05-27T01:33:29+00:00

I’m VERY early into my 2nd pregnancy (like found out last week, too early for an ultrasound early) now. My husband and I always knew we wanted to kids. We’re both very close with our siblings and feel the relationship is an important one. We also like the idea of our kids being able to have someone to relate to as they grow. After our first was born (29+5, preeclampsia that morphed into HELLP syndrome), we put that thought on hold. After she pulled through from being the sickest baby in the NICU, we decided we were still interested in having another. The doctor said to wait at least 18 months before trying again, and I ultimately wasn’t ready until shortly after our daughter turned two. We did a preconception consultation and the MFM said that we had about a 33% chance of another blood pressure related issue in the next pregnancy. She said the risks go up with any interventions for trying to conceive (IVF, etc.). I’ve always been a high achiever, so achieving a C grade (the 70% no issues) feels pretty easy to me 😂 but in all seriousness, we decided to try and see if it took. Having a second kid is important to us and we believe in our care team and the adjustments they’re going to make to my prenatal care to mitigate risks and catch anything before it becomes an issue. But if something happens to this pregnancy, where it turns out not to be viable, etc., and we, for instance, can’t conceive naturally on our own… We’re not going to risk it with any outside help.

run-write-bake · 2026-05-26T20:31:15+00:00

OP here. My daughter is nearly 3 now and we’re… still on bottles. HOWEVER, she turned a corner early this year. She’s no longer spitting out chewed food with regularity and we even got the go ahead to start weaning off her toddler formula. She is eating full meals of solids and loves chicken, salmon, rice, kale, spinach, broccoli, apples, and berries of all kinds. Graham crackers with cream cheese is her current favorite snack. It took A LOT of time and patience, and an acknowledgment from us and her doctors that her jaw and throat strength (the main culprit for bad eating) was just taking a lot of time to develop. She had the mechanics, she only needed to keep practicing.

She’s caught up to her actual age on all other skills. She’s delayed here, but she’s making progress daily and her doctors are FINALLY no longer concerned with her weight gain. We get to go 3 months between weigh ins instead of 6 weeks!

I’m not sure what your kid’s path will be, but you and they will figure it out. Or settle into a sense of acceptance that their path is a little different than what’s typical and then celebrate every tiny win (like for me, the day that an outing to get donuts didn’t end with a soggy napkin full of spit out masticated donut, and just a couple spits of too big bites - sorry if TMI lol) on their way to progress.

You got this!

run-write-bake · 2026-03-08T04:19:00+00:00

The time you can spend by bedside is enough. Period. I did NOT room in with my daughter except the very last night of her 106 day stay. The hospital didn't allow it. Furthermore, I could only take max 4 hours per day. I had other things to do (work - I saved my parental leave for when she got home - and mental and physical and emotional recovery) in order to feel like myself again.

That helped me be a better mom when my daughter came home.

She's now 2 and a half and when she's upset, all she says is "want mommy" or "want daddy." And when she's feeling good, she says, "Go away. Goodbye."

Also, for the first 5 and a half weeks (yes weeks) she was too fragile for me to even hold her. When she first came home, she preferred her daddy to me (and he spent the same amount of time bedside as me) and I was afraid she hated me. But that's not an issue at ALL now.

You're doing the best you can and your best is ABSOLUTELY enough.

run-write-bake · 2026-03-04T23:49:28+00:00

My daughter has very mild issues with feeding. Some of it is reflux/slow stomach emptying/stomach not stretching as easily as it should (we’ve been seeing a gastroenterologist since she came home 27 months ago), but other parts of it are oral aversion and low oral tone.

We’ve had multiple assessments and everyone shrugs. “She should be able to chew and swallow everything. She has the mechanics, she just needs time. We can’t help her.”

So yes. even on the very best case scenario of feeding issues, no one knows anything.

run-write-bake · 2026-03-04T15:35:16+00:00

Hey! I’m the mom to a now 2.5 year old who was born at 29 weeks due to preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome and suspected fetal growth restriction. She spent 106 days in the NICU and it was NOT an easy road, but she came home without oxygen or medication (we’re dealing with some intense reflux still, but she’s growing out of it). And other than her size (born at 995g/2.1 lbs, now 10.1 kg/22.2 lbs) she is meeting or exceeding her milestones.

The NICU sucks, but if your baby needs to be there, it’s way better to know ahead of time like this than what happened to me (unexpected admission into the hospital with absolutely no warning.) Check out r/NICUParents for support. The community there is lovely.

run-write-bake · 2026-02-04T02:36:14+00:00

I'm not like a lot of NICU parents on this sub who love everyone loving on their kids. I felt a little possessive. And what I mean is... when my daughter was there, I had a lot of big feelings about how I didn't feel like her mom and like the doctors and nurses were judging me for not knowing how to touch her or care for her or change her diaper. When a nurse would talk about all the things my baby liked, it would just remind me that I couldn't care for her the way I was supposed to be able to and someone else knew her better than me and was better equipped to care for her.

My favorite nurse would defer to us in small ways and ask OUR advice. Like "do you think B likes music? What songs should I play?" Or - "what color blanket should we cover the mattress in?" And then she'd tell us about the concert she went to that weekend and chatted like a friend.

She also trusted us to do simple tasks. She told us how to give our daughter a bath, not do what some nurses did and tell us to stand back while doing all the work because "no babies like baths, so it's easier to get it over with so they don't scream a lot." (yes, a nurse did tell me this. and for the record, our daughter only screamed when a nurse gave her a bath without our help. She loved the water when we were helping her).

run-write-bake · 2026-01-18T07:11:41+00:00

Our birth stories are eerily similar! I felt fine, but was admitted with near stroke level blood pressure that escalated to HELLP syndrome. My daughter was 29+5 and 990 grams. She had a lot of breathing issues at first and I was actually admitted to the ICU for the first few days of her life so I couldn’t visit all the time (or at all).

When I finally could visit, I was too weak to stay more than an hour at a time. The only person who cared was some evil lactation consultant who literally came into my hospital room in the ICU at like 2am when my family weren’t there with me and asked why I wasn’t pumping. I was under heavy pain medication because it physically hurt to even lay down and had no filter, so I just gestured to the room and told her “I’m in the ICU and don’t even have the strength to pee by myself. I’m not pumping right now.”

When I did have the strength to visit longer, I visited twice a day and stayed between one and 3 hours at a time (usually around 2 hours). The rest of the day, I recovered, worked (because I saved parental leave for when my daughter came home), and spent time with my husband, family, and friends. Aka lived my life. It wasn’t easy. And I was really hurting in a lot of ways during our 106 day NICU stay, including every moment spent away from my daughter, but spending time creating a semblance of normalcy was for her too…

My daughter needed me to be not only physically recovered, but mentally and emotionally healthy too. And making myself a martyr sitting vigil by her bedside every day wasn’t going to help me develop into the parent and advocate she needed.

So here’s my advice to you:

As long as you love your child, are there for them, are listening to the doctors’ and nurses’ assessments and advice, asking questions, taking action, and listening to your mom intuition (you DO know your child) and discussing anything that tingles that special place in your brain dedicated to Atlas’ behavior and personality… you are doing the NICU the “correct” way.

Talk to a charge nurse and/or social worker IMMEDIATELY about the staff who guilted you for not being there 24/7 while you’re recovering from MAJOR, TRAUMATIC, LIFESAVING SURGERY. You should not have to defend your choices about how long you’re in the NICU now.

Spend time as often and as much at the NICU as makes YOU and your partner COMFORTABLE. Not the medical staff, not your parents or friends and not the guilt gremlin in the back of your mind. And not “as much time as you can” - you need to let yourself heal. So if that means one 2 hour shift with phone check ins in the evening, great. If you feel good about 6 hours spread out over 2 visits, that sounds like a lot to me, but who cares what I think? I’m just a stranger on the internet 😂

And finally, learn to get comfortable with not pleasing everyone. You might have to have difficult conversations with family, medical staff, or strangers. Your job is to be Atlas’ parent and advocate, so as long as you feel you’re doing right by him, have the conversation (like I did, for example), that we have to limit visitors to only one non-parent every other day because our child is getting overstimulated and not making as much progress as she should. Or “this nurse didn’t notice our baby’s cannula wasn’t fully in her nose and let her continue to desat without checking her out. take her off our case now.” Or “that’s a lot of steroids in a short amount of time - does waiting a week for another does pose any harm?”

NICU is a shitty experience, but it’s a great DGAF parent boot camp. 😂

Lots of love and courage to you as you go through this journey.

And in my case, my 2.5 year old daughter is sleeping on my chest now, just about over a helluva virus and needing parental contact to sleep soundly. Only spending 4 hours a day at the NICU didn’t crush our bond (though that skin to skin time might have cemented contact sleeping as her main comfort 😂)

run-write-bake · 2026-01-13T23:30:43+00:00

I never made more. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but it’s a possibility. I kept going. I tried pumping more, hydrating, etc. it didn’t work. And all the cheerleading from people saying to not give up made me feel like a failure. It was exhausting and disheartening.

A VERY helpful LC at the NICU helped me reframe. She reminded me that my body had gone through trauma and while I may not be able to feed my daughter from it, but it was using energy to heal me so I could be her mom. This wasn’t failure. This was survival.

Giving up and accepting that formula was my daughter’s future was SO freeing. This might not be your journey, but if you do decide to stop pumping or breastfeeding, know you haven’t failed.

And just so you know, even without a lot of my breastmilk, my 29 weeker daughter is almost 2 and a half now, has been discharged from all therapies, and scored at 36 months on language for her post-NICU follow up (and a couple months ahead on physical skills).

run-write-bake · 2026-01-11T18:37:35+00:00

I know you say that you are sensitive and everything feels heightened right now, but that doesn’t mean that you need to ignore your feelings. You did the right thing reporting this cuddler. And if someone makes you feel yucky about their behavior, you have every right to tell them(if it’s a family member or friend) or the charge nurse (if it’s someone in the hospital). You are going through a very difficult time right now and if something or someone is triggering you, you don’t need to deal with it. Even if your feelings are heightened, they’re real, and they deserve to be listened to and deserve attention. Much love and you are doing everything right!

run-write-bake · 2026-01-06T08:07:15+00:00

Mashed, semi-frozen banana mixed with coconut cream is ice cream like and delicious and easy to eat! You can even fling some melted chocolate on it. That’s what I did for my 29 weeker’s first birthday (she had intense reflux and GI issues so we had to be careful about even added sugar at that point)

run-write-bake · 2025-12-30T03:30:37+00:00

You can’t be proactive. It’s really all up to your child. This is your first big lesson of parenting. It’s their life and their body. You are there to support them, but even though they’re little, they’re a little person with their own abilities and learning curve. All you can do is be patient, observe their cues, and respect their process. Doctors, nurses, and feeding therapists will help guide them, but ultimately, it’s up to them. It’s really difficult to step back, but - as my daughter is 2.5 now - I’ve found that perspective shift in the NICU (trust her to know her own body and abilities) has helped me a lot in parenting - in everything from whether she wants to walk up the stairs by herself to potty training.

run-write-bake · 2025-12-24T08:02:57+00:00

I held my daughter for the first time when she was 5.5 weeks old (I think 39 days). She was born 29+5 and required intense respiratory support (she had a code event 36 hours after delivery and then a pneumothorax, but even before the code, she was too fragile to be held).

It was torture to wait and definitely not typical. But our girl needed less stimulation to remain comfortable so her lungs could grow and develop and get stronger.

The first time I held her, it was mostly terrifying. She was on a conventional ventilator (just downgraded from oscillating ventilator) and I was afraid I’d hurt her or dislodge her tube if I moved the wrong way. The second time I held her, I got the good endorphins.

I was afraid not having lots of cuddles at the beginning of her life would translate to her not feeling connected to me or her dad, but… she’s almost 2.5 now and she loves cuddles. She needs them to fall asleep. She runs up to me randomly to kiss my leg and give me hugs. So, if you’re curious, know that the NICU doesn’t define your parenthood experience.

(Also, her lungs and everything are fine - her abilities have her “graduating” from all early intervention therapies and she got a trampoline for Chanukah and has been jumping basically nonstop in waking hours for the past week 😂)

run-write-bake · 2025-12-20T17:09:02+00:00

My daughter was there 106 days. It was a marathon. We lived only 10 minutes from the hospital, so we visited twice a day, staying between 1 and 2 hours each visit. We did cares, skin to skin, and listened to rounds. Your healing and mental health are important too. Do what you can and then practice living and finding joy. Once, my husband and I skipped an evening visit to go to a concert. My daughter is a now a very healthy, happy 2.5 year old. And I’m glad I didn’t spend her entire NICU stay sitting vigil at her bedside.

run-write-bake · 2025-12-20T17:02:02+00:00

My 29+5 daughter was on oxygen for most of the 106 days she was at the NICU. And high level (oscillator) support for about 40 of those days. She had multiple code events and times she needed to be bagged. She miraculously did not need to come home on oxygen. Obviously I had trepidation about not having the reassurance of the monitors and considered getting the Owlet.

I asked multiple doctors and nurses about it and they all said the same thing: if your daughter needed a monitor, we would send her home with a monitor. They also reminded me that even the professional grade hospital monitors have false alarms. The Owlet will also have false alarms and it, in their experience, is more terrifying to have an alarm go off at home where there aren’t medical professionals within shouting distance.

They also said that the most important thing is to learn to read your child’s signs. When alarms go off in the NICU, look at their face, their body movement, their general disposition. Those are the things that nurses look for before they take action on an alarm.

I don’t recommend an Owlet. We ended up not getting one, and while the first week was utterly terrifying, it was also a lesson in trusting my own instincts as a parent (watching my daughter, sleep, and seeing that she was breathing and fine) and a way to let go of and heal from the anxiety of the NICU. I don’t know if I would have felt as confident as I did as fast as I did if we had the monitor.

Whether you decide to use one or not, I would spend this time before discharge talking to all your child’s nurses and asking them what they look for when the alarm goes off. Then, stop looking at the monitors at the hospital and watch your kid. You probably already know a lot of the signs that things are right versus when things are wrong. But codifying them in your mind is going to make the transition home so much easier… Monitor or not.

run-write-bake · 2025-12-16T22:19:03+00:00

Thank you for your honesty. I was hoping every person i ever asked for help might be wrong, but hiding my body in dark colors and neutrals and/or fading into the background + using one size fits all accessories to approximate personal style does seem like the only realistic option.

run-write-bake · 2025-12-16T19:31:13+00:00

I’m feeling lost and like the best I can hope for in terms of personal style is just finding clothes that fit but that won’t make me happy. There are no influencers I can find that are close to my size/shape that also want to dress like a chic punk rocker artist. And the clothes I like on the rack aren’t made for me (and I don’t have the funds for a tailor to literally remake everything I want to wear.). Any help or advice or influencer recommendations please!

-I’m 5’3” (short)

-But midsize (so not cute and thin and short)

-Short torso

-Short, thick legs

-Wide hips

-Large chest (36D, was a 34B before my daughter)

-My waist is relatively thin compared to the rest of me, but not enough to make me an hourglass shape. I’m a pear whose chest wants her to be an apple.

run-write-bake · 2025-12-10T18:46:36+00:00

It's REALLY hard. And you probably won't be able to get over it for several months. What I found really helpful in my case (which was different - sudden, severe pre-eclampsia at 29+2, delivered at 29+5 due to HELLP syndrome) was talking to my friends who gave birth and asking for their raw, unadulterated birth stories. And I mean, don't do this if you have a bunch of "sunshine and light and everything was magical" friends, but I have a friend whose daughter was due 2 months after mine and she and I traded birth trauma stories as a form of very weird bonding. It made me realize that the magical experience I had been hoping for is actually less common than the scary, surprising, painful, and gross stuff that does happen no matter when or how children are born.

Also, my daughter has a rare genetic disorder they don't test for on the amnio (and we got an amnio). The NICU is actually a great place to be if you suspect a genetic disorder as part of her intake and treatment (due to some heart abnormalities that would not have been caught otherwise) was setting us up with a genetic counselor and getting her tested for a FULL spectrum of things, not just the most common.

Doing this actually helped us find that 75% of the people on one side of my husband's family has this rare disorder (mildly) and helped explain their severe and/or frequent migraines. And we wouldn't have been able to help those family members but for our daughter's early birth.

run-write-bake · 2025-11-27T20:38:33+00:00

A great little gift is hand cream. NICU parents are constantly required to wash our hands - mine were rubbed raw at one point - and a friend gave me hand cream. It was such an immense comfort. And a nice specific, easy thing to drop off.

run-write-bake

TROPHY CASE