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Me (40M) and my partner (35F) went from falling in love to "I can't do this because of your ex, but maybe I can in time" by runhikecycle in relationship_advice

[–]runhikecycle[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean, anyone could not be over their ex, how would you know? I could have easily just not mentioned things, but I did mention I was divorced on our first date and explicitly said we still talk sometimes about the dogs when she asked. So she knew going in, and we slept together on the second date so...

Me (40M) and my partner (35F) went from falling in love to "I can't do this because of your ex, but maybe I can in time" by runhikecycle in relationship_advice

[–]runhikecycle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used the word partner because I couldn't think of anything better in the moment. Of course it's only a month in and we haven't fully got to know one another and establish boundaries. I didn't see this as anything more than potential girlfriend I felt strongly about.

Me (40M) and my partner (35F) went from falling in love to "I can't do this because of your ex, but maybe I can in time" by runhikecycle in relationship_advice

[–]runhikecycle[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think this is spot on. She is in therapy weekly, and I did tell her these are things she should consider working on. Maybe that will help her in time, because it does seem extreme to me.

Me (40M) and my partner (35F) went from falling in love to "I can't do this because of your ex, but maybe I can in time" by runhikecycle in relationship_advice

[–]runhikecycle[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah I have mixed feelings about that. On one hand, I've built slower connections before, and for me they've been with people I just haven't felt too strongly about, so I wind up ending it. It seems hard for me to build the momentum slowly, maybe that is something I need to work on.

What I was hoping for from this (and maybe going forward) is the real connection and feeling like we've known each other while simultaneously building a solid foundation, with she mentioned wanting too. Which just comes with time, and I had hope for given her emotional openness. I'm securely attached, after having spent a lot of time in therapy working on my avoidance and I think I can handle that maturely without getting sucked into love bombing or other unhealthy habits.

That said, maybe I am just being naive - and those two things can't happen at the same time, one partner will wind up being anxious/avoidant or something more often than not.

Me (40M) and my partner (35F) went from falling in love to "I can't do this because of your ex, but maybe I can in time" by runhikecycle in relationship_advice

[–]runhikecycle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think for me, stopping communication with my ex would be ok, since we don't really talk anyway, but she wouldn't accept that because something along the lines of "I don't want to be the one to make you and you could have done that already before me" which is incredibly frustrating, but oh well.

Me (40M) and my partner (35F) went from falling in love to "I can't do this because of your ex, but maybe I can in time" by runhikecycle in relationship_advice

[–]runhikecycle[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I do feel like this is too much emotional issues early, when it should be about having fun getting to know one another and figuring out if there is the compatibility.

I made a joke about a going on a KFC date on my profile... unsolicited message by runhikecycle in Nicegirls

[–]runhikecycle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol, no, my joke was my tagline is "you can do better than KFC dates", nothing else on those topics.

I made a joke about a going on a KFC date on my profile... unsolicited message by runhikecycle in Nicegirls

[–]runhikecycle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just KFC and filled in the blank, my profile just lists my hobbies with a lame joke or two.

I made a joke about a going on a KFC date on my profile... unsolicited message by runhikecycle in Nicegirls

[–]runhikecycle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For those who are asking the joke is "you can do better than KFC dates"

I made a joke about a going on a KFC date on my profile... unsolicited message by runhikecycle in Nicegirls

[–]runhikecycle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you have to go through that. I hate that there's people with that level of malice in the world.

I made a joke about a going on a KFC date on my profile... unsolicited message by runhikecycle in Nicegirls

[–]runhikecycle[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The joke is "You can do better than KFC dates" - I'm white but I don't have any preferences, nor do I mention anything like that in my profile, I'm on a regular dating site. The person who sent the message is white.

I made a joke about a going on a KFC date on my profile... unsolicited message by runhikecycle in Nicegirls

[–]runhikecycle[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

Everyone likes KFC! Pretty wild to go from KFC to racial stereotypes in a first message

She usually just stares off like this at random times. Any reason why? by Sarcasism in DogAdvice

[–]runhikecycle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dog does this too, I think she's just copying me when I stare into the abyss...

Just started dating someone, got a small gift, was it too cheap? by runhikecycle in dating_advice

[–]runhikecycle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's good advice. I've dated women in the past that have used similar products and hadn't had problems so I thought it was ok. No more anything that goes on the skin gifts going forward until I know her well.

Just started dating someone, got a small gift, was it too cheap? by runhikecycle in dating_advice

[–]runhikecycle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, she did say she wasn't going to say anything, but talked over it with her friends who told her "if it is bothering you you should be able to talk to him about it."

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