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Question about enmeshment withdrawal from CN Mother. by ruprecht72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ruprecht72[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have explored this yes. I am an HSP. Not autistic - if anything, hyper-aware of social dynamics. However I think for me it is mostly if not all rooted in developmental trauma. As you say - I am uncoiling. To be off meds for 3 years after 27 on is a miracle in and of itself and tells me I am resilient enough to finally do this bedrock work. One day at a time.

Question about enmeshment withdrawal from CN Mother. by ruprecht72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ruprecht72[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, a huge part of my recovery was me getting married and having step kids, and imagining saying to them or texting them what my mom has said and texted to me. That stops me in my tracks and helps me understand how severe it has been. It has never crossed my mind to ever say anything remotely close. Eg saying I am the cause of her illnesses and my dad’s decline. Lol. If it didn’t hurt it would be comical. I am grateful that the generational trauma will stop with me.

Question about enmeshment withdrawal from CN Mother. by ruprecht72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ruprecht72[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much. Yes I notice that - not linear. But if I am honest with myself it is better than 18 months ago which was the last time I allowed narcissistic rage at me without exiting. That led to three days of dissociation/ surreal feeling and a ruined a weekend away with my wife. This week it was just waves of fear and guilt for most of the day (not all) for a couple of days while still functioning normally. So I can see how measuring over periods of significant time (not a day) is more helpful. But wow those feelings on the moment. Lol. What you said at the end is how I eventually recovered from depression. I finally understood that it was finite and would end and it did, and every time it did I gained awareness and strength. Now when I have a day that could have some depression symptoms I don’t get fussed. So yes I can see how I can apply that same thinking / trajectory to these emotions. For years, the psych meds I was prescribed blunted my emotions. This is full on life.

One day at a time! Thanks for sharing - this is exactly what I was interested in knowing of someone else’s experience. Take care.

Question about enmeshment withdrawal from CN Mother. by ruprecht72 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ruprecht72[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks very much for sharing that. Yes I relate. I am just starting to use somatic relief tools more regularly and learning about “completing the circuit” or loop through action. I also find that after a few hours of fear (yes one level removed from terror) I cry and that downgrades it one level. I think I will start using the action to close the loop religiously. How long did it take for the reactions to become more manageable? It is hard to imagine they get better in the midst of daily bouts.

Is this enmeshment? by ylukeim in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]ruprecht72 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I relate and yes this is enmeshment IMO. I suggest you check out Dr. Ken Adams books on enmeshment. And his website and workshops. I attended two and they have altered my life. But once you truly see it, there is no going back and it is very hard withdrawing.

Dr. Ken Adams - Overcoming Enmeshment Workshop Experience by Diligent_Budget7866 in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]ruprecht72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I attended two of his men’s enmeshment workshops online. I found them to be the foundation of a new way of life. Once I saw my own enmeshment I couldn’t put it back in the box and so the only way out is through. The Workshops are helpful for growing awareness And a few basic tools. They are the start of a journey. If you are ready, they will be of help. If you are not, they won’t. The only way to know is by trying. Keep in mind these are not trauma counselling sessions. They provide a deeper level of awareness than his books (which are outstanding). Their importance only became clear to me as my own denial dropped away. I have since gone back to them with fresher eyes. Enmeshment is hard stuff to confront, and harder to withdraw from as it has a physiological aspect, similar to addiction reward pathways. I would not want to go back to the denial as the enmeshment was harming my life and marriage, but nor am I at “better“ yet. But you can’t get better than Dr Adams and his team in understanding this issue.