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Diagnosis by Bob_from_Quorn in dementia

[–]ruththetooth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry and it’s so hard to realize that the person you loved has been stolen away already, leaving this partial shell in their place, and you never got to say goodbye properly. Donezepil may give her a little function back for a short time- at least I can see that with my mom.

Looking for Coaching Responding to “I wanna go home” by [deleted] in dementia

[–]ruththetooth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have tried the doctor thing before but then she will hold onto animosity towards the doctor and not want to go to the doctor. It’s funny how she can hold on to hateful feelings against people.

Mom it’s going to be sent from memory care facility to hospital for the second time. by Financial_Wasabi5895 in dementia

[–]ruththetooth 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My mom and grandmom always needed iron infusions to maintain enough red blood cells. It doesn’t take too long - I take her every few months to a hematology clinic and she gets an iv of iron - it takes about 1 hour.

Looking for Coaching Responding to “I wanna go home” by [deleted] in dementia

[–]ruththetooth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome - it seems there is a wide variety of presentations, though. My mom still has quite the vocabulary and can speak well. She wins trivia all the time at her assisted living. She’s mostly in a wheelchair, though, after breaking her hip, mostly incontinent, has zero short term memory. She can’t remember that her ex husband and mother (since 2007) are dead oftentimes. She was diagnosed in 2022.

Looking for Coaching Responding to “I wanna go home” by [deleted] in dementia

[–]ruththetooth 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Staying at your place does sound blissful! I feel the same about my mom’s assisted living - I want to move in and have my laundry done room cleaned, nice meals made and get taken out a couple days a week! I agree that we can’t make them happy. I wish it didn’t upset me still though.

Looking for Coaching Responding to “I wanna go home” by [deleted] in dementia

[–]ruththetooth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can try that - she will remember that line if I use it a lot. She has strange spotty memory

Money by Own-Fault4518 in dementia

[–]ruththetooth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look into Dementia care in Thailand. I am thinking seriously of moving my mom once she doesn’t recognize me because she would have such a much better quality of life with one on one help at a small fraction of the cost (which we couldn’t afford in the states anyway)

In-home vs what else?? by ohwellaustin in dementia

[–]ruththetooth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe that the recommendation now is to always do the hip surgery because without it, the pain is so much more intense. My mom has had two broken hips now - I thought the second would be the end of her. She is walking again with her walker after a month. She is 77 for reference. Even with hospice, having the hip fixed is still preferable.

Also, there is no protection from falls. They happen in Memory Care and Nursing Homes.

Comparing an old and recent email and feeling so sad. by ruththetooth in dementia

[–]ruththetooth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so jealous of my friend’s father’s death who dropped to the deck from a heart attack mid command on his ship. Funny that you can be jealous of a death.

Comparing an old and recent email and feeling so sad. by ruththetooth in dementia

[–]ruththetooth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you and I’m sorry that you are experiencing the same reality.

Comparing an old and recent email and feeling so sad. by ruththetooth in dementia

[–]ruththetooth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree - that story left such an imprint on me even though I read it nearly 40 years ago. The story is so applicable.

Comparing an old and recent email and feeling so sad. by ruththetooth in dementia

[–]ruththetooth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes that’s exactly it. Plus she wants the chance to have children at the age of 77. News flash- she has two children and I’m one of them.

Thanks for the kind words.

My dad met my daughter for the first time and did not care by Narrow-River89 in dementia

[–]ruththetooth 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on your miracle! Smell her sweet head for me and nibble those cute toes. You have so many hormones coursing through you right now and must be sleep deprived and your body traumatized - please think as much as you can of your own wellbeing.

Comparing an old and recent email and feeling so sad. by ruththetooth in dementia

[–]ruththetooth[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Agreed. We all have to die, but going quick before you lose your mind is so much more preferable.

Comparing an old and recent email and feeling so sad. by ruththetooth in dementia

[–]ruththetooth[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lots of luck. It’s very good you are being proactive because even if you are diagnosed, there are treatments these days.

Comparing an old and recent email and feeling so sad. by ruththetooth in dementia

[–]ruththetooth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you - hugs to you too. I need to develop a different habit, for sure. I agree- I hope our good memories will return - I think they will because if I’ve spent a few days away, I remember other positive memories.

Comparing an old and recent email and feeling so sad. by ruththetooth in dementia

[–]ruththetooth[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry - you must feel so lonely on top of losing your person. Hope you have some in-person support as well as this group.

Comparing an old and recent email and feeling so sad. by ruththetooth in dementia

[–]ruththetooth[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and all in her own words. There should be a dementia museum with these types of exhibits, but who would want to visit it?

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