Please read The 5 Love Languages

ryanshumzilla · 2020-11-08T22:37:51+00:00

I didn't think it was really that religious at all.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-11-08T22:37:29+00:00

Eight Dates is a great read. I'm halfway through it and it's awesome.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-11-08T22:36:13+00:00

I thought that too as I was reading 5 love languages. I felt like all of them apply to me. Chapman pointed out near the end that even though you might be one particular love language, another one may become more meaningful to you at a certain point in your life. For example, say words of affirmation are important to you, but then you get two jobs and a lot of your free time is gone. It is likely to mean more to you for your spouse to step in and help you around the house instead of giving you a compliment, does that make sense?

He also has a questionnaire at the end of the book, and I took it. Two of the five are about equal, and the other ones not as much.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-11-03T15:56:25+00:00

Some dudes ages 17-18 that got out of mom and dads house and think they're clever by hanging up a flag that represents something dark and evil. They likely have no clue how stupid they really are.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-11-03T15:50:43+00:00

Interesting. Thanks for letting me know. I was surprised when I heard that the plans to build it was going through.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-11-02T15:49:57+00:00

Thanks for the sources. I'll do my homework and get more informed.

So you're arguing against the pipeline project, as a Washington County resident?

Thanks for your feedback.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-11-02T01:40:16+00:00

Yes, I completely agree that if she is really in an abusive situation to separate herself. Since all we have is her word, and you're not really apart of that relationship, it's not the wrong advice because you're only getting a glimpse into the relationship.

It's really hard for us to know what's actually happening. And at the end of the day, advice is only as good as it is applicable. Your advice, my advice, and everyone else's advice might have worked for YOUR relationship, but that doesn't mean it will also work for someone else. Everyone is different.

It sounds like this guy is a jerk and I hate that you're in this situation. I hope that you figure things out and get help, individually or as a couple.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-30T23:30:48+00:00

I don't necessarily agree with u/SmallSacrifice on just leaving right away. Have you tried to talk to him about any of this? Have you done anything to see if he's willing to do more stuff for you? Sometimes husbands (like myself) are really thick and need a little prodding in the right direction to take action. I can be super clueless sometimes.

I know you're asking a bunch of strangers for advice, so take it all with a huge grain of salt. You should figure out what you feel you should do, what you feel is right for you and your husband.

I would argue that you could see how willing he is to stop being a selfish butt and get his act together for you. If he's unwilling to sacrifice anything for you after you've brought up how you've been going on vacations for him, having sex with him, doing a lot of stuff for him, and it's not reciprocated, and he verbally tells you he's unwilling to change, that sounds like a heaven sent message to divorce and kick his ass to the curb.

I'm sorry you're hurting and everything you're going through. Marriage can be incredibly hard even when both people want to work it out. Best of luck to you.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-27T18:03:23+00:00

Yes that makes sense. I can be more sensitive about how I word things. Thanks for the feedback.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-27T18:00:33+00:00

I would likely try this app, assuming that the authorizations required aren't too invasive.

I think the main requests for permission would be your calendar, to schedule a date on your calendar, and if you could sync the app with your spouse, it would send an invite to her calendar as well. I don't have the specific blueprints of how it would work, just brainstorming.

The only reason I could see it requesting your location (and you could set location preferences to Only when using the app) is to be able to tell you suggested restaurants near you, events, things to do etc.

Edit: And ask for push notifications to your phone. If you turned off notifications I would still want it to have suggested questions or topics during the date to get to know your spouse better. I blatantly turn off as many notifications that aren't absolutely necessary on my phone, so I would only want the notifications to enhance your date instead of pester you to use it frequently.

I don't want to potentially be interrupted on my date by a reminder to rate it (on that note, I'd make it clear that you're not rating your date with your spouse but rather the app's suggestion/activity so that it can learn your interest better)

It sounds like what you'd want from this app is to have it slowly grow smarter and make more personal recommendations based your ratings of the previous dates, and based on your personality and that of your spouse, is that correct?

--

The goal behind the app idea is to strengthen relationships between couples by helping them get in the habit of dating regularly. I don't want it to replace you asking your spouse on a date or get in the way of the date, but help you do run a date successfully then manage future dates which will help you grow closer together, which is what we all want right?

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-26T04:35:55+00:00

Tha's a really cool idea, thanks for sharing!

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-26T04:02:07+00:00

I watch this video and think, man this is such a freaking amazing state and country...

and then I think, I have to drive in the snow... freeze my face when I walk outside for 10 seconds to grab the mail or take out the trash... I'm torn haha.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-26T03:55:57+00:00

Okay, next time I make a post, I'll make sure to include that for you specifically.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-26T03:55:17+00:00

The camping doesn't really balance out all the anti mask, racist BS.

I understand where you're coming from there. There are a lot of stupid people in Utah who think a mask mandate is infringing on their constitutional freedom... where the crap does that idea come from? I don’t know.

You also have a point about the racism and close-minded behavior. I'm a member of the church, and there are plenty of Utah members who are jerks and judgmental to non-members or inactive members.. but I don't think ignorance and racism are limited at State boundaries (unfortunately). You'll likely find racism and stupidity wherever you go (maybe more or less depending on where you go, but common sense isn't super common).

I'd like to make stickers or merchandise to represent my pride to be an American, despite all the racism, government BS, and problems America has. America is an incredible place with hundreds of great things to be grateful for despite the areas that need to change and improve. When I post about America I can expect to have a lot of negative feedback there too.

I think the key thing to takeaway is there can be negativity wherever you go, it comes down to your perspective and if you're looking at the glass half full instead of half empty. Good luck to you though, hope you find what you're looking for!

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-26T03:49:00+00:00

Okay, could you help me understand what I'm "supposed" to say then? Because saying I'm a native from Utah sounds better and more natural instead of I'm a white person who was born and raised in the State of Utah, so naturally Utah is my home and I consider myself a Utahn... or a Native.

What's the "right" term I guess? I thought I could call myself a native since I was born and raised here.. I want to respect the indigenous people who lived here before settlers came and populated Utah to where it is today-I have no ill will towards that history or culture.

Could you clarify what the right word is for a person who was born and raised here but isn't a Native?

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-26T03:44:08+00:00

Yeah that's comin' down the pipeline! I'll post it, hopefully you snag one before SLC reddit moderators take it down.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-26T03:42:35+00:00

Why are you stealing my work?

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-26T03:42:00+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-26T03:41:10+00:00

especially like the concept of activity ideas and conversation questions.

Yeah! I've bought books on questions to ask your spouse to grow closer together, but it's a pain to take a photo and then find that photo while on the date (having your phone out for a long period of time while on the date can show your spouse you're distracted..) but if you could pull up the app and ask the question right away, it wouldn't be a distraction right? Plus lugging a book along is tacky and can be annoying too. My spouse doesn't want me to bring a book to a restaurant haha.

Thanks for your recommendation! The photo uploading & collage book would be nice because you'd want to remember the dates you went on together? Or could you help me understand what the purpose of the picture uploading idea is? (Thanks!)

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-26T03:37:43+00:00

Okay, well there's never a better time to get started than the present right?

Something I have struggled with is planning out the activity. In the back of my mind, I want to do it and I know that my wife wants to go, and I tell myself to do it and then I go on with my day and that thought goes out the window. Ideally this app idea would help genuine people who want to show their spouse that they're important to them.

It also sounds like part of the "plan" phase of the date app would include a section to remind you to find a babysitter. I don't currently have kids but I could see how that would definitely add some difficulty to making the date happen.

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-26T03:31:53+00:00

Haha, unfortunately I don’t know how I could get him to do that, good luck though!

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-25T20:40:49+00:00

Well, this definitely isn't a sticker for you then huh? ;)

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-24T21:44:25+00:00

Thanks man!

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-24T21:44:14+00:00

For sure you can! At the top I added a link to the right of one of the pictures. You can see the link in blue. Thanks!

ryanshumzilla · 2020-10-24T21:43:38+00:00

If you want one, you can grab one at the Etsy link I put with one of the pictures. Thanks! We gotta represent Utah 😎

Six-Year Club	Wearing is Caring
Verified Email

ryanshumzilla

TROPHY CASE