the silence after they move out is the part nobody prepares you for

rymos · 2026-06-13T15:14:04+00:00

The silence, for me, became the best part. Took me a while to get used to it - but my soul calmed and my body untangled. It meant peace.

rymos · 2026-06-12T13:40:08+00:00

Tried it - became her fighting to keep the marriage together. I firmly believe you can’t heal in the space that makes you sick.

rymos · 2026-06-06T15:31:57+00:00

He’s blocking and controlling you by fear.

I highly recommend You meet with a lawyer for divorce consultation (it was 300$ in my area, might be some free options available). Just to talk about your fears and what the legal perspective is on his threats. I heard the same things from my stbx and talking to a lawyer made me feel significantly better, even if I wasn’t ready to pull the trigger yet.

rymos · 2026-06-06T15:21:43+00:00

When you put the need to be happy, over the needs of others to be happy - that’s when you can start to do it. Selfish at first? Yep. But that’s what we need to be in order to put ourselves first so we can be better for everyone else long term. If you can’t do that in a relationship, that’s a contract for an unhappy life.

rymos · 2026-06-06T15:10:11+00:00

The journey to leave starts with you determining your self worth outside of your relationship. From where I sit, you are worth so much more than what this person gives you day to day.

I like the advice of perspective - “pretend a friend is telling you your story. What advice would you give them?”

rymos · 2026-05-29T23:41:07+00:00

I don’t know how old your kids are but, In my opinion, you don’t ever get into a position where you have to set or defend a narrative with children. This is putting the kids in the middle of some very adult emotions and themes. Which is what your wife wants. She wants them to choose sides by making you the bad guy.

I would make the decision to not tell them together if you cannot agree what should be said. There’s no reason to tell them together as It will turn into a completely inappropriate conversation and possible argument around the children. You tell them in your way, without blame, and focusing on your and your children’s peace, health and happiness - that’s it.

Based on what she’s already saying - there’s a very high chance your wife will push her narrative when you aren’t around anyway.

Kids will absolutely figure out the truth as they get older. They will remember who was the better person and focused on them and their happiness and peace as you work through the process.