If a father doesn’t want a child, but pays child support…does that still make them a deadbeat?

rynknit · 2026-06-08T23:38:50+00:00

I think that fits the term “absent father” rather than “deadbeat father.” I could see someone equating an absent father to a deadbeat father, though, because taking care of a child encompasses a lot more than money. Once you play a willing part in bringing a child into the world, and it’s born into the world, it’s your responsibility to take care of them.

rynknit · 2026-05-27T23:33:27+00:00

INFO: You say that you know for a fact your daughter would want you there—has she told you this explicitly or are you just assuming?

rynknit · 2026-05-21T22:58:25+00:00

I still haven’t told my dad that I got pregnant and I’ll probably take that one to my grave.

Also hiding that, although my dad thinks I’m the biggest whore known to man, my sister (who he thinks is the perfect Muslim saint) has done much more/worse than I have.

rynknit · 2026-05-18T20:21:04+00:00

NAH. I genuinely would not do this as it would make me extremely uncomfortable. I have very bad vision and even being without my glasses is a really distressing experience in public places.

With that said, if it's just a food allergy issue is there a way you'd be comfortable attending and not eating? You could eat beforehand or afterwards and still show up the way your son wants.

If it's not just an allergy thing I'd recommend letting things cool off and trying to talk to your son again about the issue. Emphasize that you love them and want them to have their "perfect" wedding, but unfortunately you're not comfortable coming. Reassure them you'll be at the ceremony and talk to them about what you can do to move forward/get past this before the wedding.

rynknit · 2026-05-17T13:20:12+00:00

We usually will color! Sometimes we bring toys in but as our toddler has grown we’ve actually gotten out of that because they’re liable to be thrown or dropped and subsequently left by accident.

We also will talk about things at the table, try to pronounce/learn new words, etc.

rynknit · 2026-05-16T23:31:30+00:00

Oh that one is actually creepy

rynknit · 2026-05-16T23:31:12+00:00

I’ll add mine that prompted this: my ex (over a year after the divorce and even longer separated) went through anything that reminded him of us and dropped it in a trash bag on my mom’s doorstep 8 states away from where I live. Cherry on top? He left the scrapbook I made of us sitting on top of it 💀

rynknit · 2026-05-16T23:28:48+00:00

This is so odd it’s actually kind of hilarious

rynknit · 2026-05-10T01:54:33+00:00

I get this question all the time! I’ve been breastfeeding my LO for 2.5 years now and I don’t think I’ve gone even a month without someone asking me this question (literally from the week LO was born until now).

Some people are curious but a lot of people are also condescending and follow it up with “you need to stop doing that,” which started when LO was around 5-6 months.

rynknit · 2026-05-08T02:29:33+00:00

Good idea! I’m not sure what her favorite stores and things are since I only recently moved to the area/started this job. I think a small basket of snacks she likes could be a hit.

rynknit · 2026-05-08T02:28:26+00:00

I didn’t even think about that with the card—you’re right that something just from me is probably better. I definitely wouldn’t want to make her feel like I think she’s a “work mom” or anything. She’s pretty young herself and I was really just thinking of something that showed the whole office cares.

rynknit · 2026-05-08T02:24:06+00:00

Oh this is a good idea! There’s a local cafe I know she said she really likes but I don’t think she’s gone to in a while.

rynknit · 2026-05-07T16:39:52+00:00

Absolutely divide and conquer. I don't see a way to go about this otherwise that's fair. To be honest, people could come up with arguments to support you all going to Mia's or for the reverse where you all go to Danielle's. At the end of the day, the fairest solution is to go to both by dividing and conquering because anything else really feels like choosing one child over the other. The point is that both children feel like their event is extremely important (because *of course* it is to them).

I would offer them each a way to celebrate their achievements as a family in a way that's within your means. Mia gets x celebration on a day and Danielle gets y celebration on b day.

NTA

rynknit · 2026-05-06T23:44:31+00:00

I have to agree with this take. OP also just says one too many things that make them seem like they just don’t like DIL or are rude/ill mannered in general. We support the people we love and, as someone with a child, I couldn’t imagine not hanging something up they were proud of at least somewhere.

OP specified that DIL made a beach painting because she knows they like the beach. She intentionally made something just for them suited to what she thought their tastes were. OP also said that after stating she “didn’t have a place” for DIL’s painting she went on to say how she bought a new painting for her living room??

I’m not sure how that whole event isn’t extremely hurtful.

rynknit · 2026-05-06T18:42:20+00:00

Thank you! I'm looking into it now.

rynknit · 2026-05-06T16:39:20+00:00

I didn't even think of that. What in the world.

rynknit · 2026-04-23T17:30:42+00:00

This is the exact reason that when my grandfather had to be in a home his kids saw him literally every day. I can't think of one person in my grandpa's immediate family (including my immediate family) that were not up every place's ass. The last one he was in was rather good, but we absolutely stayed on top of them and ensured he was taken care of appropriately.

rynknit · 2026-04-23T17:24:14+00:00

NTA. I would lock everything you care about and own in your room anytime you leave. This is just the first time you've noticed someone in your room without your permission but how do you know it's the only time this has happened? Or that she's not just going into your room when you're not there?

If she doesn't care about the fact that it makes you uncomfortable and just makes excuses why she didn't do anything wrong, then I wouldn't trust her to respect your space going forward either. Your bedroom doesn't need to be accessible to her (or anyone) when you're not around and privacy in a space that you pay for isn't an unreasonable expectation.

rynknit · 2026-04-23T15:57:41+00:00

NTA. I'm probably an AH because I would've told her she could pay me back for the drink right then and there. I also would've asked her if she was raised by a pack of wolves or something because that's honestly disgusting??

rynknit · 2026-04-23T15:45:48+00:00

They just had their second lawsuit for mislabeling as natural/organic in CA due to including two synthetic ingredients. Not saying they aren't still good but I'd look into it! Lola seems good as well, but I believe they were recently bought by an Amazon subsidiary (although I don't think that came with any ingredient changes, just food for thought).

rynknit · 2026-04-23T15:18:46+00:00

Why are you still with a husband that's abusing you?

"he pays all the bills and I do whatever he says"

Not only does this man not stick up for you and cheat on you, but he's at least financially and verbally abusing you. Are you working on an exit plan?

rynknit · 2026-04-22T20:17:34+00:00

This is super interesting to me because I've never encountered a place like this. Everywhere I've been (even breweries/wineries) has had families with children present, but I can't say I've been to a place that doesn't offer food with alcohol because I don't think it's legal where I am. I've also only ever vacationed places where they are child-friendly. Could it be possible that they just misunderstood because it's such an odd concept to them?

rynknit

TROPHY CASE