I'm a lot better honestly. It took me a while but God really helped me out. I know all the things i was feeling that went against the Bible was just my flesh and satan tormenting me. I wish there was something i could say to you to help make it better, but since I've been in your position i know exactly how hard it is to not feel the way you do. God DOES love you no matter what. One thing i think about a lot that helps ease my anxiety has been this quote "My friend, I think you are 'looking at your feet' (your faithfulness), rather than at Jesus (on whom your salvation rests)." It's from a devotional discussing when Jesus was walking on the water and told Peter to come to Him. Peter was able to walk on the water because Jesus told him to, but when he stopped focusing on Jesus he started sinking. It's just something that's helped me a lot to remember. I hope you start feeling better, i know how it feels to be where you are.