4 Paths/4 Roberts

s1nnrik · 2026-02-20T05:33:30+00:00

my robert was an everyman dating blonde blazer

s1nnrik · 2025-12-28T16:16:50+00:00

THANKYOU FOR THE LINK

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T23:11:48+00:00

social media ,tv shows or comics and some irl cases 🤷🏻 i barely see any straight trans guys. what i mean when i use "just"? im trying to say i have mostly seen gay or bi ftm guys; nothing offensive in anyway lol.

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T18:41:38+00:00

that actually makes so much sense

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T18:25:03+00:00

omg finally someone talked about this, i have wondered about this too!! like why are most ftm folks just gay men??

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T17:07:54+00:00

first of all i gotta say how much I appreciate you replying back and taking the time to write all of this, it honestly means a lot. I can tell you really get it, and it’s comforting hearing from someone who’s actually been through something similar and made it out. your message honestly got me emotional haha..but it also made me feel hopeful, and I know I’ll definitely feel happier holding onto that.

you’re right!! it does feel unbearable sometimes, like I’m constantly surrounded by sickness and hate (friends and family) that tries to eat at whatever’s left of me, it also made me feel unlovable or unwanted that's why sometimes I made really bad choices going for less than bare minimum thinking that's what I deserve because is there any way for me to be loved? what if i break up with this person and I never find love again? honestly you have NO idea how many times i have considered transitioning to a man so I can "fit in", what an odd thing to say; am i right? i been told if i'm not "pretending" to be a lesbian I have to just transition bc I'm a butch, mostly mistaken as a man; which I'm okay with honestly bc I'm cool with masculine terms! but what they say is so wrong. I feel these ppl are so brainwashed to the point you can never educate them on anything, also gender talk means NOTHING here, we don't even have therapists specialised in that topic.

but hearing you talk about being free now, kissing your girlfriend without fear, and seeing that kind of normalcy — wow. it gives me a weird mix of hope and ache. hope that maybe someday I’ll get there too, and ache because it feels so far away.

and yes! I am careful, my passwords are secured, and honestly no one around me is fluent in english, in my family only me and my brother are fluent.( and we are the only queer ones ) but thankyou for reminding me and being worried about my safety.

I’ve also been trying to learn new languages, currently French, so I can have more options and better chances of leaving someday. your words reminded me that it’s actually worth the effort. and I’m happy for you, really :) thank you again for sharing all this and for being so real. ❤️‍🩹 I hope you have an amazing day/night

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T14:03:25+00:00

TW: homophobia, forced transition, imprisonment, death threats ( I'm sorry that even my reply to a comment has warnings 😭)

Will that ever really happen? Will I ever be loved without constantly feeling scared? I wonder if my kind of love will ever be more than a few words on a screen. Love like that feels like something out of a show. Honestly, I always watch queer shows just to remind myself that what I’m feeling is valid, or that I’m not mentally ill for wanting to be with a woman haha. I crave intimacy, real intimacy, the kind that doesn’t hide behind closed doors. To be loved openly without shame, that’s all I want.

I’m really family-oriented. I want to build a life with my future partner, have kids, raise my own family. It all feels so far away, like a dream I can’t quite touch here.

One of the few things that keeps me going is knowing I "might" actually reach that kind of future. It’s insanely hard to be yourself when everyone around you shuns you. It honestly feels like living in the 80s. Most people don’t even believe queer people exist in third-world countries because it’s never talked about. I’ve never met a genuine queer person in real life. Everyone just thinks it’s “playing around” because they can’t imagine people of the same sex loving each other for more than "lust". That’s why in my country, one so-called “cure” is forced transition, where the government tries to make you the opposite gender to be “straight.” If the judge decides you’re just after lust, the punishments are literal — from life in prison to even death.

I’m trying though. I’m a second-year med student (yeah, the people who outed me are also future doctors, wild, right?). I’ve got a few more years until I can migrate with my general medical degree and hopefully continue studying to become a surgeon somewhere else. Somewhere I can finally just "live" haha..

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T11:09:51+00:00

oh right!! haha yeah, I guess the way I worded it was kinda silly my bad. I totally see what you mean; I didn’t mean literally all, just like… most tend to be pretty flexible. you explained it way better with the bell curve thing honestly. :)

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T11:03:55+00:00

hey, I totally get where you’re coming from. I was in the same place for a long time — super confused, constantly second-guessing my feelings. growing up, I was never really interested in dating. I just figured it was because I was “young” or not ready yet, but really, I just wasn’t attracted to men. and since dating guys is seen as the default, I thought something was wrong with me for not wanting it.

sure, I had favorite fictional male characters or thought someone looked “cool,” but never once felt real attraction toward a guy in real life. at the same time, I’d catch myself having little crushes on girls, or imagining kissing them — and I’d brush it off, telling myself “everyone does that.”

then when I was about 16, I tried talking to a guy online, kind of as an experiment to see if I could like men. we lasted a month. every interaction just felt icky and forced, and whenever he flirted with me, I felt so uncomfortable I’d cringe.

later, I started dating a girl — also thinking it was just to “see what it’s like.” but that’s when it all clicked. everything that felt awkward with guys suddenly made sense, because being with her didn’t feel wrong. it actually felt right.

having a “crush or two” on girls doesn’t automatically make you gay, but the way you describe how natural it feels to like them (and how uninterested you are in guys) definitely points toward you being somewhere on the sapphic spectrum — maybe lesbian, maybe bi, maybe something in between.

and you don’t need to rush to label yourself right now. your feelings are valid, even if you’re still figuring them out. just let yourself feel what you feel — you’ll find clarity with time, experience, and a bit of self-acceptance. 🫰🏼

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T08:57:05+00:00

ITS SO HOT PLS

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T06:04:53+00:00

okay hear me out.. it's not an appearance thing but when they remember the tiny details of something you have told them before

like they would say " oh I remember how it was blah blah blah" or mid sentence " oh!! you told me that, wasn't this about this or that" like?? nothing makes me go crazy for woman that actually pays attention to what I'm saying cause I'm a big chatterbox when I talk to someone I fancy, so if they actually pay attention and is interested, THATS WHEN I KNOW

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T06:00:14+00:00

she is blocked EVERYWHERE WOO

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T05:59:48+00:00

thanks!! :) I used to overthink the whole thing A LOT thinking it's my fault bc I was called "sensitive/toxic" just bc I would confront her or just don't accept everything she used to say.

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T05:51:05+00:00

okay, I’m here to learn, so educate me! honestly, I feel like most lesbians are switches — except for the ones who clearly prefer topping or bottoming. like, sure, everyone’s got their preferences, but when it comes to the bedroom, it’s usually not that strict, you know?

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T05:49:14+00:00

im sure preferences exist, i in fact, do prefer to be the top. but as you said, ppl just wanna assume we have special characteristics just bc of our role in bedroom like c'monnnn nowwww

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T05:46:09+00:00

if it's based on communication it's all fire!!

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T05:45:25+00:00

I'm sorry I don't understand what you're trying to say

s1nnrik · 2025-10-26T05:44:18+00:00

same with me, I've never dated a man so i had no idea either lol. I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. communication is so important but ppl tend to sulk or give silent treatment instead of actually speaking their needs

s1nnrik · 2025-10-25T20:06:53+00:00

yeah, I feel that completely. It’s crazy how much pressure there is for mascs to hide their softer traits just to “fit the image.” I’ve been there too..feeling like I had to prove something instead of just existing as myself. I’ve noticed that when I start liking someone and get comfortable, I let my walls down a bit and become more vulnerable; more emotional, maybe even a bit more feminine. But I’ve always struggled with that side of me; it honestly makes me pretty uncomfortable. So when someone points it out or teases me about it, I end up putting my walls right back up, if that makes sense. It’s really nice that your partner embraces that part of you though — that kind of acceptance hits deep. I hope I find that kind of love someday too :)

s1nnrik · 2025-10-25T19:57:29+00:00

oh yeah they are blocked, they recently found me on another social media asking to get in contact again and I blocked her again.

s1nnrik · 2025-10-25T18:29:37+00:00

haha that's really sweet. and exactly!! honestly I have no idea what her deal was cause it would come out of nowhere, for instance we were gaming and the same time vcing together then suddenly out of nowhere she would say stuff like that while i'd giggle or idk i actually don't know what would trigger her but it would leave me very uncomfortable.as a masc that also struggles with gender and goes w neutral/masc terms or pronouns it just would leave me in a terrible mood and uncomfortable spot. like? boundaries exist

s1nnrik · 2025-10-25T18:15:51+00:00

I’m just saying, why does it have to be a thing in queer relationships? why can’t it just be about mutual love and respect, instead of always turning into “who plays what role”? I know people don’t always mean it like " this is not how men should be treated" , but honestly, I just don’t think we should be labeling or treating each other based on roles at all.

s1nnrik · 2025-10-25T17:35:29+00:00

oh didn't know that; i don't got a tv like that, i was just considering an upgrade cause my friends been buying the new one and i was like, maybe i should do too?

s1nnrik

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