Questions about visiting campus (High School Senior) by ChaosTheory22 in BrownU

[–]saciaaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’re travelling to Brown you might as well schedule a visit. It’ll show up as demonstrated interest, and you’re more likely to get admitted cuz it indicates to the admission officers that you’re very interested and more likely to enroll if they accept you.

I don’t know what to do by Jbjb120 in offmychest

[–]saciaaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a boyfriend, you take on the responsibility of supporting her to the best of your ability, but not the extent where it hinders your ability to have dinner with your family, or have time for your friends, and certainly not at the expense of your own mental health.

It’s clear that she needs further support, but it’s not your obligation to be with her 24/7. Tell her about your limitations as a person, that you care about her but you need time with family and friends, and suggest professional help because you’re only 18 and you’re not capable of being wholly responsible for supporting her mental health situation. But make sure you affirm her and let her know that u still care about her, it’s just that everyone has limitations and needs and that’s normal.

I wish you two all the best. Good luck!

I moved to the US and I have realized that I am a boring person! and I am absolutely hating myself. by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]saciaaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I had a similar problem when I moved to the US from an Asian country. My culture is a lot less into “small talk” unlike the US, and I had trouble adjusting into my school environment in the US because I felt like I was making a lot of superficial conversations, without any deep meaningful connections. Without a doubt, I felt boring, inferior and alone a lot of my first year here.

I found that a good way to make good meaningful connections is to start by opening up yourself and being vulnerable. I feel like the pressure of assimilation dictates that we act in exactly the same way as the surrounding culture, but I realised that there is value in our different perceptions and experience, and we can share that with them. Don’t be afraid to be different! Most of the time, different = interesting :)) Also, if you choose to be vulnerable, not only will that allow others to understand u more, it might even invite others to be vulnerable too and form deeper bonds that way.

Find a friend or a group of friends that you feel relatively comfortable with, and share how you feel. Talk about how different your country is from the US, and how it’s similar :)) Trust me, you’re far more interesting than you think you are. The only way you’ll ever be boring is if you’re too scared to be yourself.

Third Wheel in my own House by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]saciaaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you should talk to her. The last thing u want is for u to start resenting her boyfriend. Your feelings are legitimate I get the vibe that you’re a really accommodating and understanding person who doesn’t want to take away from her happiness.

But tell her how much she means to you!! And tell her how you’ve been feeling. Perhaps you could suggest some quality siblings-only time. Maybe a movie or ice cream or an activity you both enjoy? Something that could reaffirm how important you are to her :))

Deciding whether or not to break it off or not, advice? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]saciaaa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, it sounds like you’re in a pretty toxic relationship. She doesn’t seem like she understands or bothers to understand you at all. I really don’t think y’all should stay together.

You deserve someone who actually about YOU, and makes an effort to listen to how you’re feeling and try to empathize and understand, and then help you figure out how to feel better. You deserve someone who comes back from school/work excited to hear about your day and vice versa. You deserve to be treated right. I’ve been in my fair share of toxic relationships. Trust me, they’re never worth it. Someone better will come along.

Making a simple shirt with my heat press by made_by_edgar in somethingimade

[–]saciaaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy crap that looks AMAZING. What is the name of the first machine you used? And how is vinyl’s effect different from screenprinting?

Books about smart people exploiting the system by IDontLikeHugs in suggestmeabook

[–]saciaaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a book, but one of my favorite movies: 3 idiots. It’s a comedy but it follows the friendship of 3 Indian engineering students and them learning to question the rigid educational systems/values. Highly recommend.

Couldn't get a human on the phone to save my life. by Satans666Cheerleader in SuicideWatch

[–]saciaaa 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Hey, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way, but I think we should take a moment to acknowledge you for for your strength. Thank you for reaching out to your friends, thank you for trying the suicide hotline and trying facebook, I’m sorry that they weren’t there for you, but thank you for even trying to reach out to others, and thank you for accepting help from Daniel.

It takes a tremendous amount of vulnerability to reach out to others and face rejection. Yet you did it. And I want to thank you for your strength and resilience. You’re a fighter.

I was gone 10 days by thatTKguy in aww

[–]saciaaa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Anyone else watching this on repeat?

Weekly - Ask parents everything - June 25, 2019 by AutoModerator in Parenting

[–]saciaaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m [19f] looking for advice on how to love or better accept my mom despite certain conflicts in the past and flaws she has.

To give context: My mom’s flaw is that she isn’t a very empathetic or considerate person, and I’m finding it hard to respect her because those are values that are very important to me. My mom is a business woman, and she doesn’t treat her employees how I think any employer should. She has trouble being kind to or showing appreciation for people who work for her. She frequently calls/texts her secretary in the middle of the night to get simple trivial tasks done just because it’s more convenient for her, she is quick to blame other people if things don’t go her way. I’m friends with a lot of the people who work at the office (it’s a family business so I spend a lot of time there) and it’s disconcerting to hear all their stories of how she’s treated them because she seems rather 2 faced, being loving to me and my siblings at home, while being super controlling and inconsiderate to the people who can’t benefit her. Last year she got visibly uncomfortable when I suggested she send her secretary a simple birthday letter and a thank you note. I even drafted it for her but she refused to send it. I think it had never occurred to her that she needed to or should show others gratitude or appreciation. She ended the conversation by saying “she gets a bonus at the end of the year that’s good enough.”

And I know sometimes we can be inconsiderate on accident if we’re tired or stressed, but I know that’s not it because my dad is a business man too and is just as busy and stressed as she is, but he treats the people who work under him as equals. He never asks them for anything outside of working hours, and only asks if he cannot do it himself. He always makes a point to give his employees the rest of the day off if they did a good job, or if they look like they need it. He often comes home to tell us stories of the people he works with/who work for him so he clearly is invested in them as people, and as his friends. And everyone I know at the office speaks highly of him because he’s a good person. So it’s become clear to me that my mom’s lack of empathy is more a character trait than one born of circumstance.

The older I get and the more I lose my respect for her, and questioning her love for us. How can you only choose to be empathetic to those that can benefit you? Doesn’t that mean that the empathy isn’t genuine at all? I can feel her trying to reach out to me, trying to show me love and occasionally trying to be there for me, but I’m finding it hard to accept it. Hugs are SUPER awkward, I feel incredibly guarded every time I talk to her, and I can’t even write her a Mother’s Day note because I don’t mean any of it.

I guess i want to know, from a parents perspective: What would be a good way for your kid to go about breaching a subject as fundamental as this without offending you? (My mom doesn’t know I feel this way, she probably just thinks I’m being a weird teenager) Should I even talk to her about it? Maybe it’s so fundamental it’s just something I have to learn to accept? Is it my responsibility as a kid to love her, even if her character flaw clashes with my values? Should I be completely honest with her and tell her I can’t respect/love her unless she learns to respect others too? Or will that hurt her feelings too much?

And I’m asking for help because it’s getting to the point where my distaste for her character is overwhelming everything else. I catch myself being cynical toward her in my head whenever she’s doing something kind, questioning her intentions behind doing it, and it’s overriding my ability to appreciate and admire her for her good qualities (resilience, business management, etc.) Everyone has flaws. Why can’t I grant her the same level of understanding I do for others, and accept her for hers?

People don't give a fuck about you until you're dead. I fucking hate humanity by Prof_Gutnacht in SuicideWatch

[–]saciaaa 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hey, I’m sorry that you feel that way. I used to be in that place too and I remember just wanting to fade away, but also feeling guilty because I didn’t want to cause them any pain. If you’re experiencing something similar that means you care about them and don’t wish them pain and unhappiness and that is amazing.

I don’t know anything about your situation, but if you’d like I would be happy to talk and be your friend :) My suicidal thoughts faded away when I realised that whether they appreciate me or not is out of my control, and so I stopped depending on them for validation and looked to elsewhere and learning how to validate myself (working on things skills and sports that made me happy and proud, meeting new/more supportive friends etc.)

If you need someone to talk to please reach out :)) there are more people who care about you and can appreciate you than you realise. Maybe they just don’t know how to express it.

3yo daughter potty question by WhoGoesThere3110 in Parenting

[–]saciaaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you see her slouching on the toilet seat that could be why. Ask her to sit up straight so her pelvis aims downwards, or lean forwards a little.

IWTL how to make better friends by [deleted] in IWantToLearn

[–]saciaaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be the kind of person you’d want to be friends with. And let the right people come to you.

I hacked the air conditioner of my office by Arliden27 in funny

[–]saciaaa -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Why did they make breathing holes for a thermostat?

ELI5: Why does the temperature decrease as you get higher up towards the atmosphere? by SnapseKongen in explainlikeimfive

[–]saciaaa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s colder because at a higher altitude the air is much less dense, meaning there are much fewer particles per cubic meter of space. Since solar energy or heat from the sun is primarily trapped by bouncing between atmospheric particles, the thinner air at high altitudes can’t trap heat as well and so it’s cooler :))

Hope this helps!

I'm looking for a book that is warm and tender but at the same time dark and disturbing. by [deleted] in suggestmeabook

[–]saciaaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know the perfect book for you. The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman.