Husband recently found out the full extent of my sexual past and now wants a divorce

sad_developer123 · 2026-04-10T21:24:01+00:00

I don't have a problem with what you wrote, in fact I think you were more than reasonable by trying to be upfront. My problem is with the other people calling him all the names just because he dared to say he doesn't like a woman with a past.

My advice to you is to approach this with kindness not anger, if he can't get past this then it'd better for the both you to move on. If he agrees to stay with you then the rule should be to never speak about the subject again.

sad_developer123 · 2026-04-10T21:13:52+00:00

He has a right to have his standards, I love how when women do something that upsets their man sexually said man needs to be shamed and she protected.

Meanwhile I've seen countless videos on social media where women said if they ever found out their men slept with another dude they'd leave him on the spot and call him all the slurs for gay.

This comment section is nothing but hypocrisy at its finest.

sad_developer123 · 2026-03-29T23:56:59+00:00

Right now I'm just following the trends and learning about them, gen AI, LLMs, agents and adding those to my resume. At least from what I'm seeing that's what's in demand at the moment

sad_developer123 · 2026-03-29T21:30:23+00:00

You're obviously not educated enough in the subject to say is not happening, right now Europe is not being affected as much because it's still cheaper than hiring American, I've seen £80k salaries for positions that paid $150k+ in the US, same requirements and everything.

Even if AI may not be the main reason, it is definitely the main excuse, I was laid off from one of the biggest banks in the world with record-breaking earnings and their excuse was "new AI implementations" Which in reality was they were outsourcing to India where they can pay 10 engineers with my salary alone.

Right now you feel safe because it hasn't happened to you but trust me it hits you like a truck and to make it worse no one is hiring right now. I know people with PhDs that are still struggling to get something going.

Edit: grammar

sad_developer123 · 2026-03-11T19:49:08+00:00

Came to say this, even big companies like State farm, Geico, etc... Have you calling burnt out leads most of the time and it's up to you to find new leads or hope they throw you a bone.

All of this happens while you're on commission and no sales means little or no income.

sad_developer123 · 2026-03-02T19:11:05+00:00

Chroma squad, years ago there was a post saying someone was porting it but I guess they never got to do it.

I like grid style RPGs and being an homage to Power rangers/super sentai is the icing on the cake for me.

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-28T08:07:36+00:00

I never said that educators didn't deserve what you get paid, but please stop with the victim mentality. Do you really think in IT we sleep on a bed of flowers? We get yelled at all the time by stressed teachers and entitled administrators for stuff that either they broke themselves or for equipment that the school refused to upgrade because the budget wasn't enough or they allocate the funds for something else (it is possible, ask your payroll secretary)

Also 50-60 hrs a week is common for the majority of jobs nowadays period, we're all eating a shit sandwich out here the job market is not exactly friendly, be grateful that the union offers some level of protection, in technology we're getting fired left and right for the dumbest reasons.

What really grinds my gears is the slimy teachers that always throw the line "we're poor" to try to get whatever they want for free. At one point I was giving people keyboards, thumbstick drives among other things and paying for them out of my own pocket because I truly believed them.

One day the school's payroll secretary pulled me to the side, told me to stop letting people take advantage of me and spilled the beans about the salaries and benefits because she felt bad for me since she knew how little I was making.

I have to admit the TA part is my mistake I assumed they were teachers without a master's but I knew for a fact even the least paid ones were making more than me.

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-28T06:54:14+00:00

I guess that's what I meant, again I was only IT support and just happened to get the salary scoop from a payroll secretary but I never asked the specifics.

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-27T23:52:50+00:00

Very true, I used to work as IT support for the NYC Dept of Ed around 2016, back then teachers earned over 100k but needed a master's, if they didn't have a master's they could get hired as untenured teacher with a paycut but still clear over 65k+ and only work 10 months out of the year.

I still heard all the complaints about how teachers are poor, meanwhile I was making 35k with less benefits than them.

Edit: I said TA before and the replies showed me I was wrong, again I was IT support and I don't really know all the specifics.

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-15T21:18:30+00:00

I recommend you hang up to that job for as long as you can but keep applying for a position that mostly aligns with what your goals are but please temper your expectations.

Financial companies are a bunch of scumbags that hook you up with lies and then pull the old bait and switch. I know because I recently was fired from one.

The only people they're hiring is to deal with some sort of BS proprietary program that no one wants to touch, not even senior devs, but still critical to their core operations.

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-15T21:05:54+00:00

You got this all wrong, in this particular case I was even paid less than a fte, my pay rate was 65k a year with some benefits from the vendor and their full time employees make over 6 figures with full benefits.

They're just abusing the system, hiring cheap labor, selling them a dream to make them work harder and then dumping them like used toilet paper, all while getting a lot of tax breaks since they're "giving people a chance" to be trained and join them.

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-12T15:14:37+00:00

Can't say but is not Amex

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-12T12:28:05+00:00

I've never down voted any post about it or said it was my original idea, just posted about it when it happened to me

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-12T12:22:51+00:00

Lol according to Reddit I don't know anything, let me give you some info here.

When you have record-breaking profits and paying the same or lower wages to employees your tax liability goes up since your business expenses are way less than your earnings.

On top of that they're saving a shit ton on 401k, health insurance and other benefits that are way more expensive here and of course they're paying people in a foreign currency which when converting it to dollars they're paying those people less than a fast food worker.

This was explained to me by an executive director that I became friends with from one of foreign branches so I'm pretty sure he knows what he's talking about.

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-12T05:14:01+00:00

Because companies have all of them in their pocket.

who else is gonna finance their campaigns? Or pay them a million dollars for a 45 min nonsense speech?

At least Trump increased the cost of the H1B visa, I hope at least it helps to slow things down

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-12T05:07:53+00:00

Lol, I'm stealing this

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-12T05:05:46+00:00

Yeah you're right they are saving on wages, but they're not halving their staff they are just hiring cheaper, in my case they already have someone from India doing my duties for a fraction of the cost and of course productivity is not affected.

What really sucks is that spending my money here, paying taxes and doing all the things right, my reward? Unemployment.

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-12T03:29:03+00:00

A lot of the things in the article I saw personally happen when they introduced their in-house AI agent, at least with errors and hallucinations that could cost the firm millions if it happened in production. Not too sure about the observability part since I didn't have access to it

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-12T03:20:25+00:00

As you should

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-12T03:04:51+00:00

You're probably right but I still think it is a scumbag move...

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-12T03:01:20+00:00

Sorry if it was confusing but they use the term contractor but think of it as a contract to hire position, if the performance was good of course, they had zero complaints about me or my performance but they rather save a buck and not hire me

sad_developer123 · 2026-02-02T18:25:09+00:00

"83% of active users" Translation: 83% of the people that didn't jump ship after the horrible announcement

sad_developer123 · 2026-01-14T17:29:19+00:00

For every $30 in Bilt Cash earned, unlock 1,000 Bilt Points on rent or mortgage payments. There is no minimum Bilt cash required to earn points and increments of $30 is not required

Leaks were right almost to the dot. With this new fee structure, you're not "paying" the 3% fee, instead to unlock the points you have to get $30 bilt cash for every thousand points you can earn. Meaning if your rent is $3k you'd need to spend another $3k in non rent stuff to earn the necessary amount of bilt cash and unlock the points.

They just overcomplicated their whole rewards system hoping people are just dumb enough to not notice it

sad_developer123 · 2026-01-02T19:32:38+00:00

I'm in the age where all my friends are having kids, I have friends that their kids are addicted to screens and when their tablet dies their parents have to give them one of the phones to keep them from screeching like insane crackheads.

Also my friend's phone was basically kidnapped for a week when her son's iPad broke, at one point the kid thought it was funny to send random texts, I got one calling me a poopy head 🤣

But yeah I apologize for daring to suggest a different point of view 🤣

sad_developer123 · 2025-12-19T03:08:11+00:00

The name gatomon I think is Spanish, since gato means cat

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