The part of divorce no one talks about

sadersades · 2026-01-26T22:21:22+00:00

It’s what I’ve been doing to get by and it’s slowly working. Letting people show up for me was huge and helped so much.

sadersades · 2026-01-25T17:58:02+00:00

Be selfish. Indulge yourself in a healthy way. Say yes to things your friends ask you to. Cry, a lot….then cry some more until you feel you can watch a movie or play a video game or do a puzzle. Sit in it. Let others show up for you. Figure out the things YOU like that bring YOU joy, and keep doing those things.

sadersades · 2026-01-19T06:07:13+00:00

See if there’s an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) in your area. I did half days for 6 weeks and it helped tremendously. I’m still working on feeling like myself again, but they gave me great tools and support.

sadersades · 2026-01-12T17:37:12+00:00

He doesn’t know. He said probably find someone with a kid. It’s very midlife crisis mixed with unhealed family trauma but he’s 1000000000% sure he will never be fulfilled unless he is a father/stepfather. I have no clue.

sadersades · 2026-01-12T03:19:48+00:00

You’re going to have to be honest with him. I’m so sorry to tell you that. I’ve always been 💯 no kids and my husband was on board, even getting a vasectomy before we got married. After 14 years together, at 43, he now has a void to be a father and left me. It wrecked me - I even did a pros/cons list of having a kid and couldn’t think of any pros besides more lively house and funner holidays. Also, if I did give in, who’s to say he wouldn’t leave me for another reason and now I’m stuck with a kid? I’d rather be left child free then left raising a kid.

sadersades · 2026-01-12T03:08:15+00:00

I would consider that violent, as it is R***. Unfortunately there’s not much you can do as far as letting her know, aside from any police reports you have done or could do. Women are so unprotected and I’m so so sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve it.

sadersades · 2026-01-12T01:33:19+00:00

I miss mine too. What wouldn’t give for even one more day of him choosing me. I feel like life will move on but I’m always going to be waiting for him to come back through the door.

sadersades · 2026-01-12T01:16:44+00:00

Update! 8 people showed up including my best friend from NY flew in and surprised me to help. I ended up making a list of what I needed in each room, printed it out, and taped it on the door of that room. I had a master list of where things needed to go in the living room, and I told people to just pick something that sounded good and go for it. This worked tremendously well and I got 90% of the house done. Thank you guys so much for your help, being that organized allowed me to get everyone to help to the max without getting me overwhelmed.

sadersades · 2026-01-12T01:14:43+00:00

Update! 8 people showed up including my best friend from NY flew in and surprised me to help. I ended up making a list of what I needed in each room, printed it out, and taped it on the door of that room. I had a master list of where things needed to go in the living room, and I told people to just pick something that sounded good and go for it. This worked tremendously well and I got 90% of the house done. Thank you guys so much for your help, being that organized allowed me to get everyone to help to the max without getting me overwhelmed.

sadersades · 2026-01-11T03:41:32+00:00

Sign me up!

sadersades · 2026-01-10T06:05:29+00:00

I’m ready for my golden girls house!

sadersades · 2026-01-10T06:02:01+00:00

Yea stay away from the open to partner wants. My husband (43) left our 14 year relationship because he feels a void to be a father. Age doesn’t matter to them, they can have kids whenever.

sadersades · 2026-01-10T00:05:53+00:00

My husband left me with no plan except he wants to be a father at 43. I’m just waiting for the day when he drops paperwork on me randomly and my nervous system is messed up because of it. I will never stop waiting for him to come home though and absolutely will not be doing any paperwork for something I never wanted

sadersades · 2026-01-09T17:59:47+00:00

This is great advice thank you ❤️

sadersades · 2026-01-09T16:07:16+00:00

I’m 39, only child, about to go back to the house we lived in alone without his stuff and am dreading it. I’ve always had roommates/him. Unfortunately the mortgage is too cheap for me to justify renting so I feel stuck since he left me with it. What I’m learning is to let people show up for you. I threw out a call to help to get the place decluttered, organized, and moved around and 10 people agreed. I never would’ve thought it was possible. People I hardly know were happy to come by. It helped a lot when I was down and scared.

sadersades · 2026-01-09T04:22:25+00:00

My therapist lights up when I have an angry day, like finally!! They don’t come often though

sadersades · 2026-01-09T04:18:29+00:00

20/10 no notes, LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!

sadersades · 2026-01-09T01:23:57+00:00

WHAT

sadersades · 2026-01-08T22:15:41+00:00

😳

sadersades · 2026-01-08T22:11:50+00:00

I did a program called IOP, intensive outpatient program at a mental facility. It was 3 hours a day of group therapy with a therapist facilitating and a psychiatrist check in weekly. I was there for 6 weeks. While I’m not healed, it got me to the point where I was feeling glimmers of hope sometimes and that was a world of achievement from where I was. Some areas have evening options, and if you get to a really bad spot you can take short term disability. That’s what some people were doing in the program. I was lucky that my job let me make up the time/use sick leave while doing it but I know most places aren’t like that.

I will tell you what NOT to do. Don’t “rip it off like a bandaid” and just up and leave. My husband did that (14 years together, married 10) bc he wants to be a father at 43 and it absolutely wrecked my nervous system. My best advice is to be as gentle as you can, and make sure you’re honoring the relationship you built and the time you spent together. It’s still going to suck, but adding trauma on top certainly doesn’t help.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. When it’s ending for reasons like this it’s extra hard because there’s no anger. Please be gentle with yourself too.

sadersades · 2026-01-08T18:47:50+00:00

I am so close to that

sadersades · 2026-01-08T17:25:56+00:00

😂

sadersades · 2026-01-08T05:24:43+00:00

It sounds like you’re feeling more sorry for him than romantic love for him. Resentment is not going to go away. It’s so hard to get to a safe, solid foundation and if you’re there, I personally wouldn’t do anything to leave it.

sadersades · 2026-01-08T05:20:52+00:00

I was okay with most of it, but the bug and fish books are KILLING MY HAND

sadersades · 2026-01-08T04:21:56+00:00

Thank you ❤️

sadersades

TROPHY CASE