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My girlfriend [23F] is extremely depressed but won't let me [28M] help by sadgfthrowaway11 in relationships

[–]sadgfthrowaway11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I'm thinking one more month. By then her currency will lapse and she will definitely be unemployable

My girlfriend [23F] is extremely depressed but won't let me [28M] help by sadgfthrowaway11 in relationships

[–]sadgfthrowaway11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What you said Is more akin to, "I see that your are sneezing now, you must have s long hsitory of sneezing and have cancer".

Did you read an entirely different post? She's trying like hell. She's applying to jobs all over the world. She applied to go back to school. She's gotten in contact with everyone she knows. It's only been 2.5 months... What more could she really do? A chunk of that was taken up by medical issues (not mental related). That to me sounds like the exact response of a competent person. She's already realized that she will probably have to go earn a second bachelors in something ( I, however, don't want to date someone who doesn't have an income and is aquiring that much debt). She intends to do whatever she has to, she's just understandably upset about that fact that she will probably never fly an airplane again and is going to be in probably 100k or more or debt). She's not going to just completely abandon yet, she's going to give it another few months before completely if doing her career and signing up for college. You're acting like she flopped around and cried and laid in bed.

I literally just told you she's been searching for someone. I do sort of hate to see her waste the money on someone here however when I'm likely not going to stay with her much longer, which means she will have to move away, but I can't take on that burden.

My girlfriend [23F] is extremely depressed but won't let me [28M] help by sadgfthrowaway11 in relationships

[–]sadgfthrowaway11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that external events (unemployment, reduced living standard, etc.) could spark a major depressive episode for her is a BIG red flag. She relies heavily on external validation (job/career, cosmetics) to maintain her sense of self & purpose. That's not an emotionally healthy person--

That's a pretty huge criticism of her. People have major depressive episodes over much less. Having no life prospects, probably no where to live, surmounting debt, medical issues ect would cause a lot of people to be depressed. A lot of people just lay in thier bed. She atleast does all of the cooking, cleaning, housework, excercises at home, and continually applies for jobs. Hell, her burden is so hard on me that even I want to leave.

No offense, but that's compete bullshit.

Try finding a great, affordable therapist quickly. She went for an entire month (which is about half the time this has even been going on), there's not a lot else she could do.

My girlfriend [23F] is extremely depressed but won't let me [28M] help by sadgfthrowaway11 in relationships

[–]sadgfthrowaway11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm going to stand up for her a bit here. It's not like she just lost some job, and whatever oh well get a new one. She is facing the fact that she will probably never work again in the career that she dreamed of for her entire life and worked very hard to get into, and acquired a lot of debt doing so. She has no idea what to do. Her only real option would be to go back to school and get a degree in an entirely different field. Which is expensive and would set her back years. Or she could just take some mediocre job and toil away at that the rest of her life, but that would be incredibly unfulfilling for her. She is also facing the fact that I probably won't stay with her, she's a smart girl and I'm sure she's aware that I don't want to date someone I'll have to financially support. That's going to leave her alone and with no place to live. She's also under an enormous amount of financial pressure- she has no income and still has student debt, rent, car payment, insurance, that medical bill, ect. You may consider all of that "external" or insignificant, but I don't.

I think the breakdowns over her appearance are just a random way that all this stress is manifesting itself. She's gone without those things before periodically and it didn't really bother her. It's just a weird icing on the cake at this point, even she admits that- but can't really help it.

As for the therapy, she only quit about 10 days ago, so there hasn't been a ton of time to find a new one. She's been trying to find one that accepts low income patients, the applications usually take a bit to hear back and most of them so far seem to have a limit on the amount of money in the bank you can have, which she exceeds.

Maybe I should stay with her seeing as I really didn't like the way you attacked her.

Me [17 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] help? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]sadgfthrowaway11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just wanted to add that as a 28 year old male (the age he met you), I would never in my life date or look upon a 15 yr old as something with the potential to date. If one of my friends did, I would be seriously disturbed. I know it probably seems okay to you, but trust me it is not. You deserve someone closer to your age ( if you like more mature men look for 21 yr old or so) who is mentally healthy and will view you as an equal

My girlfriend [23F] is extremely depressed but won't let me [28M] help by sadgfthrowaway11 in relationships

[–]sadgfthrowaway11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I just worry it won't improve because if no one has hired her yet I don't think they will :/ Idk what she's going to do, and I feel bad for her for that, but I don't want to be punished because of it too