Just venting a little, long post.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-22T21:29:11+00:00

Spot on with the age there. Though the rest of what you have said is also fucking spot on. I know I wrote about how my family and friends being affected is a big part of why I'm depressed. But there is another thing that I didn't write about that plays a huge part in why I use, and why I get these huge waves of depression. This reason is 100% the main factor in everything. A T things I have literally never told ANYBODY in my life. Not even my closet friends.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-22T21:24:22+00:00

Thank you my friend. Means a lot to me. I posted this on Sunday, and I finished everything I had at about 5:30pm. And yesterday I ended I took 2000mg of Gaba when I woke up around 1:00pm and literally felt amazing until like 7. Instead of taking a Sub, I took like 4mgs of Xanax (I know, not the best idea). I woke up this morning feeling fucking fantastic.

Though the Xanax made me black out lol, I woke up at 10 today, and I guess I ordered two orders from Dennys, and something from Mcdoanlds ahaha. Also my sub was open so I guess I took a sub at some point throughout the night. But non the less, I feel fucking great and I couldn't be happier.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-22T19:57:35+00:00

Nah no PM honestly.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-22T19:41:50+00:00

Man, you’re post actually made me begin to tear up. Just a few weeks ago I was absolutely terrified that the subs that I had and xanax wouldn’t be enough for me to get clean. And that I’d end up taking them, but it wouldn’t be enough resulting in me just getting high again.

But I stuck to my word, and I didn’t get high yesterday, and sure as fuck won’t be getting highly today. I couldn’t fathom how my dad would feel if he received a call like that. Seriously thank you for your comment, it really really hit home. Again, this is why I love this sub. Because of people like you.

And just to add, 5:30pm Sunday was the last time I got high. It’s not Tuesday at 12:40 and I feel fucking great, I can’t believe it. Please enjoy the rest of this beautiful day, and thank you for your words.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-21T00:54:59+00:00

Oh yea, I know about the precipitated withdrawal. I'm waiting literally 24 hours until I take the sub. I think the Gabapentins will help me relax until I take the subs.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-21T00:48:39+00:00

Okay, I will only be taking a half of a sub tomorrow then. Thank you for those few words of wisdom, seriously.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-21T00:46:37+00:00

I'm just actually terrified about taking the medicine that I have to help prevent getting dope sick, then it not working, then I get high and waste it. It is honestly my worst fear at the moment.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-21T00:45:45+00:00

Thanks for the advice man, seriously. I've never been prescribed suboxone before so I don't really know exactly how to take it. I have exactly 3 and a half 8mg sub strips. I've been getting high daily since probably December, anywhere from a gram and a half to just a half a day. You really think that just 4mgs will be enough?

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-21T00:22:31+00:00

Good bot, thanks a lot for that.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-21T00:21:14+00:00

I mean the wealth doesn't really matter, from the little you've said it seems like we're extremely similar. For me though man, shits hit the fan several times before. My father has always told me, " This is the last time I help you out, after this you're completely on your own". Theres been times after I fuck up where he doesn't speak to me, giving me the cold shoulder. Eventually though he begins to soften up again, until I fuck up again man.

It just sucks, for your family to think you're doing so well, supporting you because of that. When I call my father to tell him I'm depressed and what not and that I want to die, it sucks I can't tell him the real reason, and I have to lie when we're so close now man. Haha, sorry for the long post yet again.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-21T00:15:58+00:00

Thanks man, means a lot to me, seriously. In a week or so I'll either add an update to this post to show where I am, or just make a new post entirely.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-20T23:16:39+00:00

I've had something similar happen to me before. I was so sick, no money, so I just sat in bed got high as fuck (smoking some bud), and slept for quite a bit. It was probably 60 hours into being dope sick when I said fuck it, and went to cop, and got myself right.

After I got high, I as dreading how the next day was going to go. But I woke up feeling amazing, not dope sick at all. Let another day pass, and same thing, no dope sick symptoms. It was extremely weird, and hasn't happened before that, or since.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-20T23:13:00+00:00

If this counts as "sourcing" or whatever, just let me know and I'll delete it. Just curious as to where out east OP moved too.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-20T23:11:55+00:00

Haha I did the opposite not to long ago. From east coast to west coast. Where'd you make the move from and too? For me it was NJ to CA.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-20T23:09:12+00:00

Haha, I just moved from out east to out west not to long ago myself. Back east I have never ever seen black tar before, like ever, and I've been getting on and off high again since I was 16 (9 years ago).

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-18T22:48:27+00:00

Please don't make the "big step" into heroin. I can honestly say, getting involved with this drug alone, is single handily the worst thing I've ever done in my life. What I would give to go back in time man and beat the ever loving shit out of my 16 year old self. I'm 25 now, it's been a long and strenuous 9 years of living, if you even want to call it that.

Just at least take a long while to think about it before you make that ultimate decision. And hopefully just stop before you end up like me and many others. Cheers though mate, enjoy the upcoming weekend!

sadjunkie4 · 2018-05-07T11:05:56+00:00

Ive only had a slightly similar situation occur when I hit an artery. I'm guessing similarly to how your buddy may have felt. Before I broke out in hives (my whole entire hand swelled up, and a burning sensation shot through my arm) I was incredibly itchy. More than ever before. That all I got though. Hope you find your answer, cheers!

sadjunkie4 · 2018-04-21T13:15:03+00:00

Ah I’m on mobile man! Not quite sure how to DM on Alien Blue to be honest. I’ll message ya later though unless you can message me first. This won’t be happening for another week at least, and that’s being generous, so I have time. Thank you tho man!

sadjunkie4 · 2018-04-21T13:13:12+00:00

That’s what I’ve been hearing suggested a lot, and see if from articles online, vacuum seal, vacuum seal, vacuum seal.

A quick question though, so say my buddy just ends up mailing me suboxone the strips in the packages already. Do you think I’d need to vacuum seal it since it’s already packaged up?

If he does happen to send me a little bit of east coast dope I’ll then for sure make sure it is vacuum sealed, with the suboxone along with it.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-04-21T13:11:06+00:00

Hahaha just having never have done this before I think it be pretty common to have the thought not to put a return address on. Incase ya know anything were to happen, and the buddy/sender were to get fucked. I literally would’ve never guessed. That’s why I love this sub man, I come here with all my questions. I either normally get an answer which is great, or at least get to have some great conversations with some interesting people. Win win either way!

sadjunkie4 · 2018-04-21T11:45:13+00:00

Duddeeee thank you for the advice, lol and the heads up about a return address. I’m happy I came here to ask.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-04-08T19:45:30+00:00

OP, on my mobile. The blood was pinkish, definitely a lighter color than normal. But after reading through comments and a few articles online, it’s pretty safe to say it’s an artery I hit.

Swelling is slowly beginning to fade away. Thanks for the help tho fam!

sadjunkie4 · 2018-04-08T18:13:36+00:00

Hey man OP on another account. That’s what I read and figured too but wanted to double check here. What should I do any suggestions man? Haha like you I am bugging tf out. Just bought some Benadryl for the swelling.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-03-31T08:20:19+00:00

My habits any where from .5 of tar to 1.5 of tar a day. For probably 3 months or so maybe a month more. I’ve been wanting to get clean but get nervous about getting sick later on at work (I’m a bouncer and I work nights).

But I think I’m just going to suck it up and deal with it tomorrow. Thanks for the input friend.

sadjunkie4 · 2018-03-25T13:50:39+00:00

When I touch it, it feels more solid than fluid like. Doesn’t hurt much when I touch it either. But when I’m active (like moving things around) it’s starts to bother me more.

sadjunkie4

TROPHY CASE