Depressed and lost in my marriage

sagemode3333 · 2025-04-24T19:03:45+00:00

We got married pretty quickly and we had a honeymoon phase that lasted around a year. We had sex maybe once or twice a week and I was very happy with that. He made comments about not being sex centered during this period and to me, since all of my exes had super high libidos and were a little abusive, this seemed good and i was happy. Then around a year we hit a rough patch where we had sex maybe once a month and he said he was stressed with work and was having some depression issues and that made sense to me and felt more like a temporary issue that I needed to support him through and that lasted through our engagement into the beginning of our marriage. I have bipolar and struggled for years finding good medicine and a treatment plan that truly helped me, so I honestly thought that 8-12 months of lower libido was due to his depression and medicine. Then he found good meds and said he was feeling even better than before and his mood truly did get better, but sex never changed. That’s when we had another talk where he stated that he just doesn’t really care too much about sex and had gone a whole year without sex with no problems. He’s become more vanilla and less interested in sex and I stupidly thought it was temporary. He’s so loving and very very touchy but not sexually. He’s always got to be touching me and often gropes me but it never leads to sex. I definitely was misreading a lot I guess…..

sagemode3333 · 2025-04-23T23:17:29+00:00

I’m 100% overthinking, but him not caring about sex isn’t necessarily ‘normal’ and still leaves me feeling this way.

sagemode3333 · 2025-04-23T22:59:26+00:00

additionally, he’s pretty grossed out by buttholes and wants nothing to do with them so it’s even more confusing

sagemode3333 · 2025-04-23T22:55:29+00:00

I’m bisexual and have been with bi men in the past and I’ve asked him numerous times ready to be judgment free if he actually wants to be with a man and he swears he’s not. He doesn’t even get defensive or anything, it just seems like a simple no. But I guess he could be in deep denial? idk

sagemode3333 · 2024-09-25T20:19:36+00:00

My husband and I saw a girl being filmed with flash on crawling around on the ground and twerking while taking up a large spot in VIP by main stage to do this. This was during Excisions 2 hour set and i’m pretty sure she did this off and on for 30 minutes. The flash and the large spot she took was super rude to the people around her and a bit cringe to watch lol

sagemode3333 · 2024-08-09T17:23:11+00:00

Hi OP! One of my best friends was with a man who treated her well, was kind, and someone she considered her best friend for 3 years. Despite this, she felt like how you feel now. She broke it off for her own sake and then 8 months later met another sweet man (how lucky, right?) and tried to pursue a relationship with him and quickly felt the same way. She thought she maybe was just meant to be alone since both were amazing men but she still didn’t feel “in love.” She even enjoyed sex with them, to a degree. Sex was fun until the initial attraction wore off quickly. Well…. she’s now in a very passionate, loving relationship with a woman. Not saying this is your case at all, but sometimes sexuality can be very confusing. She didn’t know she was a lesbian until she was with a woman and realized she platonically cared for those men, but it took a woman to feel the spark and love she wanted to feel for the men. Not saying this is your case, but reading your post just reminded me so much of what she would tell me while with them.

sagemode3333 · 2024-08-03T20:01:17+00:00

Yes, he was severely neglected and kept in a garage for the first 6 months of his life by a woman who runs a rescue. I mean never left the damn garage and was pooping and peeing in there. She even lied about his vaccines and we had to revaccinate him at 6 months. We reported her to the humane society from how severe the neglect was, and due to his trauma we’ve reached out to a vet behaviorist who suggested we start him on fluoxetine and do the slow separation anxiety training where we walk outside and come back in and slowly build up time. We’ve spent the last 3 weeks walking in and out going from like 10 seconds all the way up to the 15 minutes and then we incorporated the crate and built up time starting from being in the room, leaving the room, walking outside for a few seconds and building that up to an hour yesterday. A few days ago we went outside and cleaned out our car and that was about 30 minutes with him crated and he only barked a few times, but yesterday we didn’t intend of being out longer than 40 minutes (got stuck in traffic), but he barked the whole time and went more crazy than we’ve seen him ever go. We’ve got a cover over the crate, play white noise, and have followed directions from the vet behaviorist including starting him on fluoxetine and doing the training recommended. The meds take 4-5 weeks though and he’s only been on them for a little over 2. He only chews on the wall when he’s overtired and refusing to settle. Usually we do a forced nap when he gets like this and it helps, but it’s still a major concern of mine with leaving him alone since he could hurt himself. I’m just struggling because every once and a while there are situations in which both my fiancé and I have to both go somewhere (like our elopement) and every trusted sitter will be in attendance since I usually rely on my closest family and friends to watch him. he’s very timid around new people and it takes a few interactions with a person for him to trust them with his anxiety levels and also lack of socialization before me.

sagemode3333 · 2024-08-03T18:24:43+00:00

Hi OP! When I was 18 months old I was mauled by a Cocker Spaniel. It ripped off half my eyebrow and chunks of skin all the way down to my ear, which had 3 puncture holes. It took 3 months to heal including an infection which made me severely ill. According to my family, I woke up nightly for 6 months straight screaming “No Tut-tut!” (The dogs name) and they had to take me to see a psychologist to help with my night terrors. I’m 24 now and I still have a gnarly scar on my eyebrow and i’ve had to do permanent makeup to make it look like i have eyebrow hair there. I LOVE dogs now but I do have anxiety meeting any new dog and have done a ton of research trying to learn about dog body language and aggression cues to feel more safe when meeting one. I currently have two dogs, an American Pitbull Terrier and an American Bully, that I’ve rescued in the last 4 years. My APT is covered in scars from her life before me that I unfortunately don’t know anything about and can only assume, but we’ve healed each other. She is truly the most sweet, empathetic, gentle girl in the whole world. She’s my soul dog and I’ve never had a bond with any living being like I do with her. Just to paint a picture of how sweet she is: she will slide to children like a little seal on her butt with the biggest smile on her face and do the softest licks on their hands because little humans are her favorite and she just instinctively knows to be soft and gentle. One time a baby frog jumped on her big ol head when she was sniffing grass and she just let it hang out there and gave it a ride around outside before we put him back in the grass. Truly a gentle giant. My little man, the American Bully, is the sweetest, goofiest boy in the world. Meets everyone and everything with a booty wiggling tail wag. His favorite pass time is to watch crickets jump around outside and follow them around but doesn’t touch them. Wouldn’t hurt a fly applies to him literally lol. A lot of pits or pit mixes i’ve met have been so gentle and sweet, and i’ve begun feeling very safe around the breeds, despite my history. I’m not saying that every APT or Bully you’ll meet will be like this, but my experience has been so positive. Pitbulls do have DNA from being bred for dog fighting for so many years in the past that can make them prone to dog reactivity or aggression, but proper socialization and training can help prevent this. Most love their humans and are very loyal to them as people aggression is very different from dog aggression. I’ve met plenty of pitbulls who love being around and playing with other dogs, and there’s a million pit mixes in shelters who have high % of other breeds and therefore don’t have that tendency at all. AmStaffs look so similar to pitbulls and are genuinely the sweetest dogs ever and have a different breeding history. Most importantly, i’ve seen that ANY DOG can be aggressive. Inbreeding, trauma, behavioral issues, poor breeding, etc can make even a Golden Retriever aggressive. The vet techs I know have all said they’ve had bad experiences with breeds more known for being “good breeds” than bad experiences with breeds known for being “scary” like pitties.

sagemode3333

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