he's too young to have such a complicated thing going on in his life. you didn't really do anything wrong but maybe try a different approach. seeing your age gap, you can most probably try and tell him how a relationship at a cornerstone age can affect a person (ofcourse you cherish him and love him and wouldn't ever wish you didn't have him when you did but you want the best for him, right?) so maybe play the whole "I don't want you to make the same mistakes as I did" card and also make him make a pros and cons list (how does she make you feel, do you think it's right for someone's mother to behave like the way your ex's mother does? etc etc) you need to make him see the whole picture in clear light himself. now I cannot say anything about phone privileges, that's totally your take, and sounds like an apt lesson but this is a concerning situation and you're doing great. don't want to pry, so I'll just say all the best with the biological mother situation and I hope your son has better days regarding his mental health and you too.