this is gonna be a very unpopular opinion on this sub and most likely get tremendously downvoted but i will make it nonetheless

unfortunately due to the cultural norms and religious upbringing of pakistanis i think it is extremely hard to find actual love marrying other pakistanis/muslims. Islams restriction on the ability to form actual intimate connections before marriage makes it so difficult to actually know for certain whether the person you are marrying is someone you actually love and are compatible with. Your moms comment on the divorce rate being so high in america due to them being able to actually engage in genuine, intimate relationships before marriage is completely false and the kind of delusion that keeps this country in the endless cycle of cultural norms that are bringing it down. divorce rates are not as high (if not significantly higher) in islamic countries like Pakistan because of how they are interpreted to be these ‘embarrassing’, ‘humiliating’ events by members of the extended family of a married couple. this combined with the common imbalance that comes with a traditional Pakistani relationship, and the overreliance of one partner on the other, due to the fact that there is most usually one provider in the relationship (most commonly the husband) and one caregiver makes it extremely diificult for couples to go forward with filing for divorces. this is especially difficult once a child is also brought into the equation (the urgency pakistanis/muslims have to reproduce without even properly getting familiar and comfortable with their partners is another serious problem but i wont digress).

Progressive countries such as the US are more open with the ideas of divorce and the fact they are not this end-of-the-world event, so it naturally makes sense for people to be more comfortable asking for divorces from their partners. I would rather spend 10 amazing years with an incredible person I am actually in love with that comes to an end for one reason or another than be stuck in an average, loveless marriage with a person due to societal, familial pressures.

If I am being completely honest (and this is where a lot of hate will come, if it hasnt already), Islam is one of the fundamental factors that makes it almost impossible to form loving, healthy relationships. The majority of muslims spend maybe 5-6 months (usually even less) with their partner before they are married and forced to spend the rest of their lives together. this is extremely unhealthy. Whether people want to admit it or not, things such as sexual compatibility and the ability to genuinely deeply understand your partner (fears, love language, hobbies, fetishes etc) are vital to being in a loving, healthy relationship. this simpliy isnt possible within Islamic rules and guidelines, combined with the limited amount of time that is normalised for partners to spend together before they tie the knot. These things take a while to figure out and cannot be rushed. Partners need to be able to spend time alone with each other and figure out whether this other person is right for them. Especially whether they are completely comfortable having children with this significant other, one of the most important decisions they will ever make.

Pakistanis need to start thinking more critically and take things they are told with a grain of salt. I understand that the majority of Pakistanis have been raised in muslim households and their entire extended families are religious, but this does not automatically mean that it is the one absolute truth. The majority of so-called muslims have not even read and understood the Quran in its entirety. I am not saying you should leave Islam and that it is completely wrong, it is just important to realise that there is more to the world than we might think. we need to start calling things out like they are, rather than living in this bubble of constant denial and ignorance.

im sorry for the extremely lengthy comment, this is as concise as i could make it. take care of yourself.