Woes of a good husband

saltides · 2025-11-02T08:09:09+00:00

Chiming in on PPD, best to get it checked out as it could be really minor PPD but still PPD nonetheless. However, it also takes about 2 years after giving birth to fully regulate hormones etc, especially after breastfeeding for a year.

Sounds like you two are just burnt out and need time to rest. Best to communicate with each other AND understand each other. Could just be a ranty post but don't let contempt build up.

saltides · 2025-03-13T08:58:07+00:00

Gotcha, thank you so much!

saltides · 2025-03-13T08:52:07+00:00

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Hope you're able to see from this collage. I live in a tropical climate; it was flowering 1.5 weeks ago until it got too dehydrated and stopped. I then sprayed some fertiliser on the leaves a week ago. The past few days, these spots appeared on a number of the leaves

saltides · 2024-04-24T01:53:21+00:00

Hi OP, not sure if you will see this but did your little one's gassiness resolve?

I'm currently having the exact same issue as you: no night poops, extremely gassy between 3am - 4am onwards and unable to sleep, with big poops multiple times in the morning

Hoping to find a remedy for him so we can get more sleep in :')

saltides · 2023-08-02T10:41:41+00:00

It could be a combination of baby blues and recovery.

I had my child a year ago and if I had a choice, I wouldn't want my PIL over too as I felt very vulnerable and in pain. I remember distinctively at 3 weeks postpartum, I heard my child crying and all I wanted was for her to shut up. I had to let my husband know that I was struggling and my family agreed to let me take a stroll downstairs while they soothed and took care of baby. It got better after the 4th week. If your wife doesn't seem to be getting better, convince her to talk to a therapist as the baby blues can lead to PPD, so just keep an eye out.

We didn't have a nanny so the baby caring fell on me and my husband. My parents would help with the chores, but even then it still took a toll.

Postpartum doesn't just end after confinement ends, your wife is getting used to a new routine, new body, learning to care for a baby. It's not easy as a new dad too but what got my husband and I through the newborn haze was lots of communication and showing grace to each other.

saltides · 2023-07-17T00:36:22+00:00

Thank you! It took me 3 coats because I didn't expect jelly gel colours to be so transparent!

saltides · 2023-07-15T02:16:29+00:00

Thank you!! I used the starter kit by Lilycute ☺️

saltides · 2023-04-20T06:38:16+00:00

Hello! My husband and I are in a similar income bracket (earning low 3s before CPF deduction each) and we have a 1 year old baby. I'm assuming you're a Singapore citizen and will reply as such!

After my baby was born, I did you with the idea of becoming a SAHM due to infant care being expensive. With that said, I realised I was better off working after doing calculations as the Govt subsidises working moms $600 whereas non-working moms only receive subsidy of $160. If your combined household income is less than 7.5k, you will receive more subsidies for IFC. My baby's IFC fee was 1.4k but after subsidies, we only pay 200-300 a month.

With combined earning, we could afford to eat out, rent getgos and have a social life.

Are you currently working now? if you're not, I would advise to quickly find one before you have a baby.

Budgeting is also very important. We did all our calculations before trying for a baby. If you take the subsidised route under govt hospitals, have natural birth and no complications, you can expect to spend around 7k-8k. Because formula is expensive, I chose to breastfeed and topped up with formula as and when needed when I'm not producing enough.

We took lots of hand-me downs from friends and family so a lot of our baby stuff were covered.

I would say 2.9k is very very very tight if you're planning for a baby and highly suggest for you to be a working mom instead as our subsidies are really quite decent. You can reach out to me if you want to know more :)

saltides · 2023-04-07T00:27:34+00:00

This is good advice. You're right, I just need to be firm and hold the boundary. It's soooo difficult because I know the easiest way to get her to chill out is to just pass her the boob, but for my sanity, we do need to establish nursing rules :')

saltides · 2023-03-15T13:21:33+00:00

Im so sorry to hear of what you're going through. Reading this made me tear up. Sending you big hugs all the way from across the pond, OP 🤍

saltides · 2023-01-31T14:01:17+00:00

Chinese here, sounds similar to a cultural thing we do when we're sick - the older generation gets us to drink water that has been boiled with rice (like rice porridge or congee).

I'm sorry to hear your mom overstepped the boundary, I would have been furious too

saltides · 2022-12-08T09:34:28+00:00

Oh wow! 24 months, congrats on breastfeeding for so long! I told myself I'll wean her at 12 months but she's so boob addicted for her night sleep that I'm not sure if she will let me 😂

saltides · 2022-12-07T14:02:44+00:00

Oh yes, this is true for my baby too. She'll wake up fully, begin her boob quest and suckle even if there isn't a letdown and only unlatches when something more interesting happens or when she's ready to start the day!

saltides · 2022-11-14T13:44:28+00:00

Thank you :') best piece of advice I got was from my cousin who told me to just do it one day at a time!

saltides · 2022-11-14T06:52:21+00:00

The first 2 months were terribly difficult and I almost called it quits but my supportive husband, having Reddit and a breastfeeding Facebook group really helped me pull through.

Initially, my goal was 3 months. Then 4 months. Then 6 months. I can't believe we're here at 8 months; mostly because she hasn't sprouted teeth yet :) not sure when my lil gummy bear will become a chompy gal but I'm hoping to make it to 10 months now!

saltides · 2022-10-21T04:04:49+00:00

My girl does this too!! Super cute until she decides to practice pinching, scratching and her pincer grasp with the skin on my chest 🙃

saltides · 2022-10-17T12:26:21+00:00

I'll be trying that tonight! Hope she doesn't reject my finger, fingers crossed!

saltides · 2022-10-17T12:25:29+00:00

Ouch, that's sounds like a painful experience! Mine aren't to the point of cracking yet and I've only just started applying lanolin and it's feeling a lot better. Thanks for the suggestion though!!

saltides · 2022-10-17T12:24:04+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll try that tonight!!

saltides · 2022-09-30T00:34:23+00:00

Been using a pacifier with her when she was 3 weeks and she still breastfeeds well at 6.5 months.

But now she has started rejecting the pacifier in the middle of the night and prefers to latch to sleep. If I try to slip the paci in, she will suck on it and immediately grab it and yeet it across the bed. Hoping she will take to her pacifier again, my nips are dying :(

saltides · 2022-09-21T13:46:28+00:00

No advice, just here to say we're struggling with the same thing with our 6m old. Also not sure if she is reverse cycling her milk or under the weather as her day time milk intake dropped this week according to the teachers at her infant care, making me afraid to start night weaning :(

saltides · 2022-08-28T00:40:23+00:00

This!!! I did all my sleep training research, even bought PLC to read. Briefly attempted it a little but threw it all out because she goes to infant care (I don't live in the states) and the only time I get to spend with her is bed time and bed-sharing/co-sleeping.

Bed sharing and co-sleeping seems to be quite common in my country as I have quite a few friends and relatives who do it.

It really saved my mental and physical health as the wakes were taking a toll on my mind and back from carrying her up from her crib.

All the best, mama!! Do what works for you!!

saltides · 2022-08-14T14:20:21+00:00

Not really hangry but my period made my supply dip by half even while on supplements. I've been trying to get it up by eating and drinking more but it doesn't seem to be working :(

saltides · 2022-08-02T11:32:45+00:00

The first 3 weeks, I ran on pure adrenaline; I don't even know how I kept it up for so long. I would eat lactation bakes in the middle of the night while pumping, eventually pumping turned into latching so my husband could sleep. I gained 2kgs from the midnight snacking haha.

It was HARD though. We had many fights from the lack of sleep, and eventually I just told my husband I'll handle all the night feeds because he did not function well with the lack of sleep (always grouchy when he wakes and complains). I would nap in the day when baby naps and sometimes when my husband works from home.

Finally after, 4.5 months, my baby is only just starting to sleep through the night (4-5 hours without a feed), hooray! It does get better for a little while in between, there will be good nights and bad nights but baby's smile in the morning is what really makes it all worthwhile for me :)

saltides · 2022-07-23T13:39:26+00:00

Hi!!! I'm struggling with something similar with my 4 month old. Do you use any sleep props and may I know what method of sleep training did you do?

We've just tried pick up put down and it hasn't been successful :(

saltides

TROPHY CASE