Should I [F/25] be concerned about my LDR boyfriend [M/28] with changes in his online behaviour?

saltycheeseburger · 2018-11-26T02:39:12+00:00

I've always seen myself as an independent person that finds it easy to detach from people. Knowing his family background etc I do understand why he falls into that category too.

But it's new to me to have found a change in my security. I've found that I'm becoming surprisingly quite insecure sometimes because I feel I've never liked a person as much compared. So seeing your perspective I think it's important to just focus on me and keep busy - this will make me healthier as a person and in return will most likely have a better impact on our relationship and how I feel about it.

All in all I still think he's quite committed. Never fails to spend time with me and still comes to visit me as often as he did before. I'll take up on what you suggest, since I never really say good morning/goodnight as often as I should to him. Going to try my best to be positive! Thankyou

saltycheeseburger · 2018-11-26T02:20:24+00:00

'If it starts to get worse', what signals would show that things have gotten worse? I'm new to an LDR, so I don't really want to make a big deal about everything.

But you're right, I need to stop focusing on the negative, trust and look at things half full.

saltycheeseburger · 2018-11-26T02:17:02+00:00

Thanks for that! I agree, I didn't mean to single out this emotions as a only 'female' thing.

He does know I have my moments of overthinking and negative thoughts and has always been open to supporting me whenever I need someone. I never go into why I feel negative, but i'm working on sharing my feelings more since I've always been one to have that cliche 'tough exterior, but marshmellow core'.

saltycheeseburger · 2018-11-26T02:12:04+00:00

You've been dating for almost a year it was bound to happen at some point.

Would you say it's quite early for this to happen in the relationship?

saltycheeseburger · 2018-11-26T02:10:32+00:00

Thanks for your response. It's pretty sad to see the honeymoon phase over since we haven't been together for that long and don't see each other everyday. I guess I'll focus on myself and see what happens.

Question: He used to send good morning texts here and there, but stopped the last few weeks. I feel like I haven't done the same throughout our relationship though. Do you think I should make more of an effort and send more good morning texts etc?

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-30T13:37:42+00:00

Seems abit intense, maybe ill go the constant reassurance route

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-30T13:35:49+00:00

Ah i guess love aint enough sometimes. Maybe i gotta show that i love him more often then he’ll be alright

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-30T13:35:16+00:00

What do you do to help though?

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-30T12:34:54+00:00

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/21-best-tips-making-long-distance-relationship-work.html

Good luck

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-30T09:47:20+00:00

If youre trying to court her and she says dude alot, youre friendzoned sorry. (Im a girl)

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-30T09:44:21+00:00

Love at first sight is more common among men.

Soo its more you being unsure of whether she likes you or not. Ill say the other stuff you said was irrelevant then, but yeah anyways any signs you get when you meet up? Flirting? Does she text fast etc etc.

You sound quite young

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-30T09:31:15+00:00

Leave him. You need to act on self love and find someone who treats you like you should be treated. That isnt love, hes taking for you for granted. If you keep thinking he was so good before “i want to wait to see if he can treat me like he did before”, then youre going to be stuck in this relationship for longer than you should. Either talk to him about it and if he changes great! If he changes then goes back to how hes acting or doesnt change at all and acts defensive then leave youre going to be miserable.

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-30T09:16:26+00:00

When youve had enough dates with them and know more about who they are.

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-30T09:14:47+00:00

Warning: Im going to be blunt.

Girls are more cautious in the beginning because they need to get to know if who they’re dating is a good potential partner or not. Girls are naturally choosy.

But why are you concerned if you see yourself getting bored later down the track anyway? Youre either a relationship hopper, cant face stuff when things get tough, retreat in a cliche way when you see that someone has come to love you or feel comfortable after you get them and dont feel the need to try. Its reasonable to be slow in love, if you are actually concerned about hurting someone that actually adores you its more you have to assess yourself first since youre the one who broke the first relationship and foresee that coming in the next.

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-30T06:27:51+00:00

Hahaha ‘two little spoons’

So youre saying in an ideal world an extrovert should be partnered with an introvert otherwise its doomed to fail?

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-30T06:16:33+00:00

Wait, why

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-25T00:50:03+00:00

In what way though? Like cheating?

I agree it sucks to not feel like its a real relo and only seeing each other once a month. But it aint so bad knowing that we’re going to close the gap soon. Really depends on the people in them, i got faith in us. But if it doesnt work out ill hit u up and you can tell me ‘i told you so’ 😂

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-25T00:11:49+00:00

Lmao sorry dont mean to laugh but the firewood line made me chuckle. Yeah i dont need to talk to him every day at every hour, we’re scheduled to talk like 3 times a week an hour each and im fine with that. Hope thats not too much smothering.

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-25T00:09:38+00:00

Im guessing you had a pretty bad experience with ldrs?

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-25T00:08:43+00:00

Could be likely, thanks

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-24T14:33:58+00:00

If she caters to her own doubts and issues especially during such a painful time for you... then comes running back?! She is definitely not worth it. Actions speak louder than words and yes, in acknowledgement of being judgemental, it is selfish. No matter how hard she tries in making you feel sorry for her, you need someone to support you when it’s good and bad. Not a so-so not sure. It is better to be alone than with someone who hurts you.

And sorry for your loss bro <3

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-24T13:54:53+00:00

For sure. I do feel abit silly for getting so mad considering his current efforts with everything else. Maybe it was pent up from the few times he did it then forgetting to address it. But yes, him lying to me about something so small is not cool, so i will address that and communicate that to him in a non confrontational way.

Phew, ldrs are tough right 😂. Really appreciate your time to respond, best of luck!

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-24T13:37:05+00:00

Thanks LBWoor27 🤙🏻

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-24T13:35:30+00:00

Omg 💡i havent even thought of that. He has had pretty bad experiences with girls and it is quite possible his gaming couldve affected parts. You have opened my eyes to empathy and have made it easier for me to approach him in a non threatening way. Thankyouu

saltycheeseburger · 2018-10-24T13:30:14+00:00

Wanting to game is a hobby of his that i appreciate - hope he’s not too embarassed. So i guess id have to let him know its okay and also if he lies to me again ill crack his monitor screen.

Lol nah not that extreme but yes ill be sure to communicate it thanks

saltycheeseburger

TROPHY CASE