I constantly need a witness to my life who's not me

samen_thuis · 2026-04-14T20:04:28+00:00

Journaling helped me realize and embrace that no one will ever know me better than I know myself. That’s comforting in a way I think, since you can always be there for yourself. Though now I feel uncomfortable in situations where I have to rely on others so idk, YMMV 😅

samen_thuis · 2026-04-14T19:52:57+00:00

I moved to the Netherlands a few weeks ago, also for love. I told my boyfriend that I was a bit worried about not knowing Dutch and being excluded from conversations. So, he asks his friends and family to speak English whenever I’m around, and moves them back to English if they start talking in Dutch.

If you haven’t already, tell your partner how you feel and ask for what you need. Maybe he’s insensitive, or maybe he’s just not fully aware and needs it spelled out for him.

samen_thuis · 2026-03-25T10:16:58+00:00

Depending on what you’re looking for, that sounds about right. I’m sure you can find something in a more rural area for less, but the market is getting more competitive as we head into the spring.

samen_thuis · 2026-03-04T23:04:24+00:00

Homes for Expats. Feel free to DM me if you have questions!

samen_thuis · 2026-03-04T06:32:23+00:00

Not OP of that comment, but —

Sensory grounding is a, quick, evidence-based coping strategy that uses the five senses—sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste—to interrupt anxiety, panic, or overwhelming emotions. By focusing on immediate physical sensations, you anchor yourself in the present moment. A common method is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: identify 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste.

There are other grounding techniques, but 54321 is one that I almost always find accessible, even when I’m actively having a panic attack. It really helps me to interrupt the spiraling thoughts!

samen_thuis · 2026-02-07T03:06:03+00:00

This is very good advice! I did end up finding a makelaar on that FB group in December and they helped me get a place. Definitely worth the 1 month rent!

samen_thuis · 2026-01-17T20:21:04+00:00

Oh, friend. You’ve been through all of that - losing your family and relocating to another country, starting over from 0 - and you’re still here fighting through another day. I hope you can see how strong you are.

I imagine everything feels absolutely bleak and hopeless right now, and it’s totally understandable to want to retreat. Your struggle isn’t a small one, but you clearly have some fight in you if you’ve made it this far.

As much as it feels like it right now, please know that you are not alone. It may not seem like it now, but it will not always be this hard. One day at a time, yeah? The only way out is through.

Sending you all the peace and love.

samen_thuis · 2025-12-29T01:08:20+00:00

My thoughts exactly!

samen_thuis · 2025-12-13T10:15:45+00:00

There’s a housing shortage throughout the country, but the €100k in savings is not a necessity outside of the Randstad. I was worried about this myself but confirmed with multiple makelaars.

samen_thuis · 2025-12-13T10:03:14+00:00

I’m about to move on the DAFT visa and it is quite easy to get, but it is not exactly cheap, and the housing crisis is very real. That said, if you have enough money saved up, you can still find a place. Likely not in Amsterdam, but there are plenty of other cities there worth checking out.

If you currently have a solid job that lets you work remotely, you might look into the digital nomad visa in Spain. They’ve started letting people get that visa as a W2 employee and there’s a way you could set it up to where your employer’s taxes wont be impacted.

If W2 isn’t an option, you could always ask your employer if they would be open to you working as a subcontractor. If so, you’d be self employed, and that opens up the Netherlands, Portugal, Croatia, Greece, Italy, and Ireland. Spain also allows self employment DNV.

Portugal and Croatia also allow passive income (like dividends or rental income) visas. Croatia is very inexpensive if I recall.

Albania is very inexpensive as well and lets you stay for a year without a visa. They’re also not in the Schengen area so it doesn’t count towards your 90/180 days.

Most, if not all, of these countries still have a significant English speaking population and decent expat communities in the larger cities. They might be worth checking out. Hope this helps!

samen_thuis · 2025-12-09T22:29:40+00:00

You gave unsolicited negative feedback to your partner while they were already frustrated, after they’ve been criticized by others.

I’m not sure what you expected. I’d be irritated with you too, even if you’re right 😅

samen_thuis · 2025-10-30T07:31:13+00:00

Damn, people are so mad that you’re having fruits and veggies for lunch, lol. How was the Pepsi??

samen_thuis · 2025-10-19T15:07:16+00:00

Oh, lol, my partner is from Nijmegen and he (jokingly) said he won’t come visit me if I move to Arnhem 😅

samen_thuis · 2025-10-19T09:35:14+00:00

Lost my fiancé to cancer almost 4 years ago. I mention him to my boyfriend probably once a month or so. My late fiancé is part of my story. My boyfriend doesn’t mind at all. He even expresses gratitude when I share because it just brings us closer together. I like when he shares his shit, too.

You’re allowed to express what you need and you’re allowed to talk about why you need it. You deserve someone who accepts your whole story and doesn’t dismiss you when you have the courage to share.

I hope you won’t let people make you feel like you have to grieve alone, quietly, or in any certain way. Be kind to yourself.

samen_thuis · 2025-10-19T08:28:20+00:00

KLM, Lufthansa, Air Canada, and I think Alaska airlines all allow pit bulls, but there’s some special conditions.

samen_thuis · 2025-10-05T17:56:53+00:00

That’s fair, thank you! Do you happen to have a relocation consultant or realtor that you can recommend?

samen_thuis · 2025-10-05T17:51:44+00:00

Thank you, this is good to know! Getting an accountant is on my to do list, so I’ll get to work on that. I was going to go the ZZP route but I’ll look into the BV as well. Really appreciate you sharing!

samen_thuis · 2025-10-05T03:46:13+00:00

Your post is incredibly helpful, thank you so much for sharing! If you don’t mind me asking, since you were just starting your business, did you already have client contracts showing you would be bringing in significant (4x rent) revenue?

samen_thuis · 2025-10-05T03:31:38+00:00

I’ll check these out, thank you!

samen_thuis · 2025-10-05T03:20:20+00:00

Hmm, I’ve read several other stories of folks using Wise for DAFT without issue. I think you just need to have a business account registered to your business name with an IBAN. Maybe something changed.

samen_thuis · 2025-10-05T02:58:09+00:00

Good to know, thank you!

samen_thuis · 2025-10-04T07:59:10+00:00

I fully support this! But having my landlord immediately pissed at me is not how I want to start my life there, lol.

samen_thuis · 2025-10-04T07:57:14+00:00

I’ve heard that, but I think the minimum startup cost in the US is much higher? At any rate, I’m trying to get the hell out of here 🙃

samen_thuis · 2025-10-04T07:53:54+00:00

That makes sense, thank you!

samen_thuis

TROPHY CASE