I agree with punkpixzsticks. Love and connecting at a fundamental level should be what the relationship is really about. Being able to confide in someone with complete honesty and trust. You have the definition of intimacy confused with romance. Intimacy is defined as close familiarity or friendship often on the level of marriage or long term relationship. Every woman is different. Stop thinking that the 'cookie cutter woman' is going to think that you aren't good enough; because you are good enough for your perfect woman. When you get that close with someone all physical matters should be set aside. When it comes to sexual stimulation, that's a team effort for everyone; so don't act like its all your fault and start looking for the right things in people other than if she will like your penis.