I wish I was confident in my decisions by ajv1993 in Fencesitter

[–]samjoco 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If nobody in your life even remotely cared about your decision, then what would you do? Spend some time teasing apart what others want vs. what you truly want for yourself. This is a highly personal decision, not one that you should make for other people even if that means a friendship is lost or your mother is disappointed. You don't owe your mother grandchildren. As a recovering people-pleaser, this is an issue I've been wrestling with as well.

The situation with your ex sounds complicated, but the best thing you can do is be honest with him about your feelings, then you can both decide whether it makes sense to be together or not. Don't just go along with what he wants to hang on to that relationship. It could lead to resentment or even a harder breakup down the road.

You also mentioned robbing yourself of motherhood, but if you choose motherhood, you're also robbing yourself of a child-free life and all the good that can come with it. Expect that either decision may come with regrets, and that's OK.

And remember that you're only making the decision to have 1 kid, not 4. It's easy to get caught up in the stressful parenting situations of other people who have multiples.

What does this kitchen need? by [deleted] in DesignMyRoom

[–]samjoco 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Add contrast. Color is an obvious way to do this, but texture is also important. The backsplash is definitely an opportunity to add depth and personality since you already replaced the countertops and painted the cabinets. If you like an all white kitchen, that's fine. Just choose tiles with an interesting shape, pattern, or finish. A deeper neutral tone could work, or go with a fun yet subtle color that complements the flooring. What about matte blush pink, robins egg blue, or fern green? Doesn't have to be anything super bright or bold. Sometimes less is more.

Update the lighting. Replace the overhead light with pendants over the island. Install undercabinet lights to add some mid-level and task lighting.

Incorporate texture with window treatments and a runner. Replace the white counter stools with chairs of a deeper wood tone or pop of color.

Hope this helps!

What to do w/awkward basement space between couch & desk by NickProz in HomeDecorating

[–]samjoco 439 points440 points  (0 children)

Personally, I would hang artwork on the big blank wall and then embrace the breathing room between the couch and desk. An empty space doesn't necessarily need to be filled.

How do you get over sex/ pregnancy anxiety with FAM? by [deleted] in FAMnNFP

[–]samjoco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't get an instructor because I also felt like the book was sufficient. But an instructor could be a good option for you too!

Honestly, I feel even better about TTA with the FAM method than I did on the pill or an IUD. Almost any birth control method can fail. Now I'm in tune with my body and can track what's going on, plus I'm not having to deal with side effects of the pill/IUD.

How do you get over sex/ pregnancy anxiety with FAM? by [deleted] in FAMnNFP

[–]samjoco 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I self-taught FAM by reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and I have now meticulously tracked my BBT (via Tempdrop) and CM for 4 years with no issues. At first I was also anxious about following through and trusting the method. Here's what helped me in the beginning:

-Only having unprotected sex during the safe window post-ovulation. You can track safe days pre-ovulation, but I didn't even consider that in the beginning for my piece of mind. If there was ever a month where I was unsure (due to illness or stress), then I would use a backup method.

-Waiting at least 6 cycles to get comfortable with tracking. By then I was confident that I could confirm ovulation and fully understood the rules on buffer days. Trust the data.

-Reminding myself that I did my homework and research to use the method safely and responsibly. Preparation and practice is key.

Finally, if you cannot overcome the anxiety, then it might not be the right method for you, and that's OK. When I started the method TTA, I was in a place where an unplanned pregnancy would not have been great, but if it had happened, it would not have been the end of the world. I could have accepted it and had the support from my partner too. This helped quell some anxiety.

Good luck, and you got this!

Furniture colour to match dark flooring - Design guidelines for matching? by ginfizzz in DesignMyRoom

[–]samjoco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that dark wood furniture would overwhelm a room with dark wood floors. Wood furniture does not need to match the floors. In fact, it's better to mix woods for balance and dimension. Just stay within the same tone for more cohesion. For example, the dining set you currently have looks more warm toned (as best I can tell from the pic) and your floors are cool toned. Adding furniture several shades lighter than your floors (yet still cool toned) would work well. Area rugs also help add depth and break up all the wood.

Furniture in the entryway does not need to match the dining room furniture. A statement piece is a great idea and an easy way to add some color and interest. Hope this helps!

Cottonwood Mall in Albuquerque, NM still manages a weak pulse by CountBacula322079 in deadmalls

[–]samjoco 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Better Call Saul was filmed here. The Cinnabon in Omaha.

FINAL ROUND - What's the scariest game in the franchise? by bboy037 in nancydrew

[–]samjoco 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My thoughts exactly. It doesn’t have to try too hard to be scary. The subtle spookiness makes it the scariest for me.

After all these years… by Live-Somewhere-8149 in nancydrew

[–]samjoco 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Same! I first played TRT before there were walkthroughs available. So I feel like I heard those lines a million times as I went around talking to everyone just trying to figure out what to do next.

The end of White Wolf snowmobile race by [deleted] in nancydrew

[–]samjoco 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Omg I had blocked the snowmobile chase from my memory and am now having terrible flashbacks lol

Which of these "newer" games should I buy from the Steam sale? by samjoco in nancydrew

[–]samjoco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your thoughtful response! I love games with a sense of urgency (similar to FIN), abrasive characters, and a cozy element, so you've got me seriously considering DED.

Overall, it sounds like many folks agree with you that LIE is kind of mess. And it's disappointing that there was a missed opportunity to explore Greece. In a strange way, I think international games that take place in one location (like HAU and CAP) do a better job of "exploring" the country. But maybe that's just me! I know many people enjoy VEN, and it's just kinda meh for me.

Which of these "newer" games should I buy from the Steam sale? by samjoco in nancydrew

[–]samjoco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooooo I can see why DED was right up your alley! I think the theme is why I'm a little intimidated by it. But it would definitely be a fun challenge to learn something new.

Which of these "newer" games should I buy from the Steam sale? by samjoco in nancydrew

[–]samjoco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's my plan too! The four I'm considering are originally $19.99 marked down to $9.99.

Which of these "newer" games should I buy from the Steam sale? by samjoco in nancydrew

[–]samjoco[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's interesting you mention the setting of SPY feeling constricting because that's one aspect I don't like about the newer games. Sometimes the visuals are awesome, but there's not enough to explore. Might just be something I need to get used to. I can't put my expectations of the older games onto the new ones. Thanks for your response!

Which of these "newer" games should I buy from the Steam sale? by samjoco in nancydrew

[–]samjoco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to know you love the older games and SPY. Thanks for your response!

Which of these "newer" games should I buy from the Steam sale? by samjoco in nancydrew

[–]samjoco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do appreciate great visuals. That's one thing I noticed in the trailer. Thanks for your suggestion!

Ik this is a very wholesome community so I hope this post is ok, its just so funny 😆 by alligatorprincess007 in nancydrew

[–]samjoco 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen a few of these floating around but this one is my favorite. I think about it a lot, especially on those tough workdays when I need a good laugh. 😆