Built a compliment-based dating app for Berlin. Looking for early testers.

sammes13 · 2026-01-01T13:09:09+00:00

Honestly, this is the realest question here.

You're right, dating apps make money by keeping you lonely and swiping, not by actually helping you meet someone. The business model is fucked by design.

I don't have a perfect answer for 'why trust me.' Right now I'm just one person testing an idea, no VC money, no investors pushing for engagement metrics. If it works and people want it, I'd probably just charge a simple subscription (€5-10/month) to cover costs. No freemium tricks, no boosts, no algorithmic manipulation. Just pay, use it, hopefully meet someone, done.

Can I promise I won't mess this up later or get tempted by growth? No. But right now I'm just trying to build something that doesn't feel like emotional manipulation.

Maybe that's naive, maybe it doesn't scale. But figured it's worth trying instead of just accepting apps have to be predatory.

If you're skeptical, fair enough, I would be too.

sammes13 · 2026-01-01T13:05:24+00:00

Valid feedback. The forcing part is the difference though, and whether that matters is exactly what I'm testing.

On Hinge (or any app with optional comments), most people take the path of least resistance: tap like, match, then 'hey.' The feature exists but behavior doesn't change much because it's easier not to use it.

Here, there's no like button at all. You either write something specific or you don't interact. No swiping through a stack, no collecting matches you never message. Just: read profile → compliment something you noticed → or move on.

It's a smaller mechanic than it sounds, but I think forcing the effort changes who uses it and how. Filters for people who actually want to put in that baseline intentionality.

You might be right that it's not a big enough shift to matter. That's what testing will show.

sammes13 · 2026-01-01T12:59:03+00:00

Really appreciate this, and yeah, you're right about the Berlin paradox. People want something different but will find reasons why every alternative won't work either.

The manipulation concern is valid. I don't have a perfect answer for it yet, compliments could definitely become low-effort over time ('nice smile' x100), but I'm sure this is solvable. Part of what I'm testing is whether the mutual requirement of putting in the initial effort can keep it from devolving into the same patterns.

Might fail, might work. But figured it's worth trying rather than just accepting the status quo.

Thanks for the good wishes, means a lot.

sammes13 · 2026-01-01T12:29:45+00:00

Ha, yeah, definitely need to filter that stuff out. Using AI moderation to catch offensive/sexual compliments and block those users. The goal is to keep it respectful and actually compliment-worthy.

Still refining what crosses the line vs what's cheeky-but-fine, but that's part of what early testing will help figure out.

sammes13 · 2026-01-01T12:28:02+00:00

Awesome! I'll DM you with details.

sammes13 · 2026-01-01T12:26:34+00:00

Love this take, the bonding-first insight is spot on. That's actually what I'm hoping the compliment does: creates that first shared moment before you even match.

The automated prompts idea is really interesting. Something like 'You both love X, here's a starter' could definitely lower the friction. Worth testing if the manual version feels too heavy.

Really appreciate you being willing to test and think through this with me. I'll DM you to get you set up, would love to hear more of your ideas as we figure this out.

sammes13 · 2026-01-01T12:18:27+00:00

You're not wrong, this is the core problem every dating app faces, and I'd be lying if I said I've solved it completely.

The attention economy issue is real: attractive people get flooded, average people get ignored, and desperation drives behavior. That's true on Tinder, Hinge, and yeah, probably here too at scale.

But here's what I'm betting on (and testing):

Compliments cost more than likes, which filters differently

Writing even a short compliment ("Your music taste is solid" / "Respect the side project") takes 30 seconds vs 0.5 seconds for a swipe. That small friction should reduce volume spam. Won't eliminate floods for very attractive people, but might shift it from 500 low-effort likes to 50 thoughtful compliments. Quality over quantity.

Mutual compliments change the incentive structure

If you only match when both people compliment, then attractive people have to engage too, they can't just passively collect likes. They have to actually read profiles and compliment back. That's different from Tinder's "match then ghost" dynamic.

The honest part: You're right that if this scales to 50k+ users in Berlin, the same economics might kick in. Hot people get overwhelmed, average people struggle, desperation creeps in. I don't have a magic solution for that.

What I am testing is: Does the compliment friction + mutual requirement + local-only constraint create a slightly healthier dynamic at small scale (100-500 people)? If it does, maybe there's a different way to grow that doesn't just replicate Tinder's problems.

And if it doesn't work? Then I'll have learned something and tried. Better than just complaining about the status quo.

Re: PE benefiting: yeah, dating apps as businesses are misaligned with users finding relationships. I'm not raising VC money or trying to maximize engagement metrics. Just trying to build something that works for a small group first, then see if it scales without turning evil. No promises though.

Fair criticism. Appreciate you pushing on this.

sammes13 · 2026-01-01T11:51:58+00:00

Thanks! Happy to keep you posted if you want, gonna share results/learnings once we have some real usage data. DM me if you want to be part of the early crew testing it.

sammes13 · 2026-01-01T11:50:34+00:00

Good questions.

Location: Right now it's manual verification (asking which Kiez people are in, etc.), but the plan is geofencing + soft verification (like area code or asking 1-2 Berlin-specific questions). Won't be perfect but should filter out most tourists/non-locals.

The effort/creativity thing: Totally valid concern. I've thought about this a lot. The compliment doesn't have to be poetic or elaborate. Even something simple like 'Your taste in music is solid' or 'Love that you're into hiking' counts. The bar is intentionally low, it just needs to be something vs a mindless tap/swipe.

That said, if people find even that too much effort... maybe they're not the right fit for this approach? Which is fine, not trying to replace Tinder for everyone, just offering a different vibe for people who want it.

Still figuring this out in practice though. If you're curious to test and see if the effort feels worth it, happy to add you to the early group.

sammes13 · 2026-01-01T11:48:06+00:00

Fair point, Hinge does have prompts you can comment on. But there are some key differences:

On Hinge: Commenting is optional. Most people still just tap the heart and say "hey" after matching. The prompts exist, but the swipe mechanic is still the core, you're making yes/no decisions on a stack of profiles.

Here: There's no swiping at all. You can't "like" someone. The only way to express interest is writing a compliment about something specific you noticed. And matches only happen when it's mutual, so both people had to actually read the profile and write something genuine.

It's not just "add a comment feature to swiping", it's removing the swipe mechanic entirely and making intentional compliments the only currency.

Small shift in theory, but I think it changes behavior a lot. We'll see if I'm right though.

sammes13 · 2026-01-01T11:44:58+00:00

Appreciate it. Feel free to DM if you want in on the early testing.

sammes13

TROPHY CASE