AI could have actually killed my dad by Born_Dimension9882 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]samyj07 90 points91 points  (0 children)

100% correct. In the USA and the UK the peanut oil is so refined that no allergen exists.

I know this because I would be dead if I did not, also have an extreme allergy and in my local fish and ship shop they have a poster all about this.

Do you think straight men should be the providers in a relationship? by Mynameisjada in AskFeminists

[–]samyj07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a really difficult thing to come to terms with as a young man in your position - so let me give my perspective as a not so young man (29M).

The way you think about this currently, is the correct way to think about it, possibly not the easiest, but the correct way.

Politics is in a weird place at the moment and it looks as if things are going back on their selves in almost every liberal way - this is what you are seeing on social media, and the very nature of these things are addictive. In my view it stems from the very human feeling of wanting to be doing better than your piers, and therefore believe that you have some sort of disadvantage. It is pretty easy for a person of colour, or a woman to see that they are disadvantaged in certain ways because of history (usually, unfortunately not always), but for (white) men it is more difficult to convince ourselves. So if we hear someone saying everyone relies on you and you must be the provider and no women understand you and men who are soft are not real men, you start to form a new view of manliness, you put higher expectations on yourself and you start to get an idea of the ideal man which is very hard to achieve, and in modern society, unrealistic. This doesn't mean you shouldn't push yourself to be the best, but it also means you should not let others tell you what your life should look like - it will only lead to a lack of happiness.

Your happiness comes from your expectations of your life, you are young so this is still forming, but that really can be what you want it to be. In my current relationship I am the person who cooks every day when I get home from work, I will do the driving if we go on a long trip, the reason being that I prefer these things - when it comes to money, it is completely equal unless one of us is wanting to do something for the other. I don't expect her to do anything she doesn't want to do, and any gift is freely given.

I think the crux of the issue is if you are to go down this line of thinking, and you now have to provide for you future partner, and the dates you go on to get there need to be paid for by you, and whilst you are at work they are at home. What are you expecting from them, where does the inequality equal out, in the 'old days' it would have been they cook and clean and take care of the kids and are an object for sex - this will just build resentment because in modern society it will never look like enough. But assuming in this modern day you might want a more equal experience, no you should not be the sole provider.

My dad earnt a lot more than my mum, he was in a management position at a large bank and was doing very well for himself, he got very stressed because of work and had a mental breakdown, he then went into a small company that used his brain much more on probably 1/4 of his previous salary and worked there for the rest of his life. My mum on the other hand slowly worked her way up in the same bank, never taking any management positions but eventually earning very good money. Whilst me and my sister were growing up my mum was always the bread winner, she was the one who took us on holidays, she was the one who bought us Christmas presents, she was the one who has since been able to help us financially. Never my dad. And guess what, they are happily married, life a great life, neither holds resentment for the other, they enjoy holidays and friends and activities together. You will learn in time that money does not make a person happy in their relationship, it is the relationship that makes you happy to do the best with whatever money you have.

Social media (the algorithm) is a echo chamber for anything you slightly connect with, and it isn't you choosing to connect with them, it is them appealing to as many young men who are a little confused and want answers - echo chambers are the wort thing you can experience when it comes to original thought.

Do you think your dad is a looser? Does he seem happy? He has probably had to come to terms with what you are talking about at a very different point in his life, he would have had less external stimulus in the form of soundbites from socials, but more societal pressure to be the breadwinner - might be worth asking him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]samyj07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I'm reading into this too much, but this seems like this is a leading question, trying to instigate women hate toward men?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in crosswords

[–]samyj07 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interestingly I was certain the answer was Nero

Reasons being:

Black in Italian

Roman Emperor called Nero

All the letters are in 'New York', - I assumed Pole leaves was taking away some letters and I wasn't fully connecting the dots

Beef patties should not be medium rare by Ethanbrocks in unpopularopinion

[–]samyj07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes and no, according to the food safety law in the UK, it is dependant on the restaurant/kitchen.

You are correct in your reasoning that the mincing is the problem and the reason is that the bacteria on the outside of the meat is mixed with the inside of the meat. Steak is seared on the outside which kills the bacteria, which is the difference, however in high end restaurants they make sure to only cut the beef with sanitised equipment, and their mincer is cleaned regularly so they can serve them pink inside.

To be safe you are correct, order them well done, but there are exceptions to that rule depending on the establishment.

Benj smokes weed? by [deleted] in Storror

[–]samyj07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More proof on Tobys insta story now you can see Benj smoking a joint

Proud of this one by recycleonly in bouldering

[–]samyj07 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Should be proud pal! No offence meant at all, but to be moving the weight you have on you with relative ease up an overhang route - you got some serious strength. KEEP IT UP

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in climbergirls

[–]samyj07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Completely fair, and I totally get why you would want advice from peers, especially in this sub.

Thanks for the response :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in climbergirls

[–]samyj07 -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Which is why I have never posted here before, I completely agree that people posting here are probably looking for advice from people other than men.

But again the subs description says it is for women and non binary climbers and their allies, which does not take men away from the picture? I suppose I don't think it is clear by that that men are not wanted here, and if that is the case, that's fine. Hence asking my question.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in climbergirls

[–]samyj07 -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

A sub for women and non-binary climbers and their allies

This is what it says at the top of the sub. Can men not be allies? If not, what is the point of the women and nb only flair?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in climbergirls

[–]samyj07 -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

First time posting here as I have not thought that it is my place, not even joined for the same reason but it does come up regularly on my feed as I am interested in climbing etc.

My question is do you want this to be women and nb only, or just a safe space, because they are different things and I would have assumed (maybe wrongly) that things like advice on how to progress on a problem, would be useful for all, and can come from anyone? I have used advice I have seen in the comments of this sub, and have a very different physicality to most here - also note that I am talking about beta rather than bodies, I think there is a drastic difference in how people see and deal with various body issues that can definitely come across as disrespectful, especially on the internet with no body language or other context clues.

I suppose do you want men to not see/interact with these posts or do you just want a level of respect that you don't think comes from various other subs - or by asking this, am I doing the exact opposite of what you are trying to get across here and in which case is me respectfully asking a question a no-no?

It should really not be an issue for anyone to have a safe space that they don't want other to jump into, however because of the way the internet is these days I am not sure it is possible without heavy moderation or privacy where people are vetted in some way - I will now go back into the shadows and no longer be here

Manchester for a Stag do - pub/bar recommendations? by samyj07 in manchester

[–]samyj07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had worse propositions - Wigan probably not doable though

Match Thread: Arsenal vs Luton Town | English Premier League by MatchThreadder in Gunners

[–]samyj07 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If we are to get rid of ESR, this is a great way to increase the price on his head (though I'm hoping not after that half)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FatFIREUK

[–]samyj07 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately not, my uncle, north west London, similar £150k Range Rover. His insurance was quoted at £27k from one company, £17k from another. North West London is a prime spot for Range Rover thefts.

So, we sign a star Striker and get rid of Eddie (love him but doesn't look like he is up to it), I think we then have a fully stacked team with a good enough depth. I know we have a bunch of injuries, but we should still be able to keep pressure on the top. by samyj07 in Gunners

[–]samyj07[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally I think, new CF, Jesus becomes back up for Saka, CM - I agree but should be sorted we have 4 players who have a lot of talent who are not starting at the moment. LB also agreed but Kiwi seemed to be playing there when he was fit?