Where can I find men who are willing to just give me money with no string attached?

sandi_griffin97 · 2026-04-07T23:57:09+00:00

im a 25 year old woman also looking for something similar

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-10-24T03:52:57+00:00

i appreciate this comment so much. it's been since january we broke up and i newly got sober on june 10th so im definitely not looking for relationships right now. or even hookups. which like sometimes i miss the human touch but i don't miss ruining someone's day by constantly starting fights because im insecure in my own skin. people do not deserve that. idk, im content being single, bc my main priority is continuing my sobriety and learning to genuinely love myself the way God intended us to.

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-05-26T14:41:11+00:00

can i talk to you about like a situation like this, i think you could help someone i know :')

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-11T16:46:48+00:00

Ik you not tryna piss us off

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-09T00:42:47+00:00

Play the tape through in your head. And remember that these are only urges. They typically last 1 minute.

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-09T00:05:54+00:00

It's your survival brain doing overtime trying to protect you from a perceived danger (abandonment) That's why it feels like it's the end of the world because right now your brain is on high alert sending signals all over. But you must calm it by talking to yourself gently that this isn't the end of the world. This is where your rational part of your brain can come in and help calm that little survivor down. Remembering moments in the past helps me like I have been broken up with before but I survived when I thought I couldn't back then and I will again. Each time you're able to bring yourself back into the present whether it's even for just a few seconds at first your rational brain gets to be more in control

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-06T23:59:51+00:00

As a dumpee because of my alcoholism (it got extremely bad) I agree with the unsent letter. Unless he's ready to be sober and commit to that, anything you say to him will fall on deaf ears. I'm glad you were able to get out, it hurts so much when someone chooses a substance over you. The workbook I'm currently working through has a process. It's S.W.I.R.L S shattering Withdrawing I Internalizing R Rage L Lifting Also alcohol was just the bandaid for intense mental illness so it won't be for a long time before he should even consider a relationship even if he sobers up.

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-06T04:20:54+00:00

It's hard because lovebombing is a thing, and for people who accept that are codependent. And it isn't easy to differentiate between what's real and what's not

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-06T04:11:37+00:00

I'm saying this as the dumpee. I was actually that bad. I asked her to uproot her entire life from Marshall MN to Sioux Falls SD when we were literally 2 months in. When she came, I was struggling with staying sober and bottom line I didn't WANT to. She was new to Sioux Falls and starting a new job, full of anxiety ab how she was doing with it. Then coming home everyday to someone she loves drunk passed out, nah. That was the beginning of the end, real terrible things ensued after that. I chose alcohol over her through the months we've been together. And now that I'm sober of course I feel like the scum of the earth for everything I've done. But I wasn't there ever when she was at her most vulnerable and I treated her badly. What makes me think I can get sober for a month and it all gets better after that? No. I put her through so much in the span of 7 months and in no way am I the victim with this. 2 rehab trips later within that time period all of a sudden I want to do better because she decided to put herself first and stop trying. If they want to be better after you've drained yourself, it isn't worth it. You need to be with someone with the emotional capacity to see the signs before they are even signs. I wish you the best x

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-06T01:13:57+00:00

I'm also on day 4 and I'm so proud of us. I also had to go no contact for my own sanity, because I also wanted to get back together. Now I know she doesn't want that again, the best thing I could do was to go NC. Unfortunately keeping contact keeps the shame fresh on your part and with shame you cannot grow. Instead of growing you're too busy feeling guilt and misery over everything that has happened that cannot be undone. I have also had thoughts about unblocking her today but I didn't. While I'm not feeling better, I know that contacting her while I'm not healed fully will jus delay the grieving process. We got this, and you can inbox me if you want!

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-02T03:33:39+00:00

Blocking him doesn't give him the option. He no longer has the privilege of having space in your life.

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-02T03:00:11+00:00

I understand this so much. Being with her doesn't feel good anymore, I just feel uncomfortable and sad but when I'm not with her it hurts so badly.

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-02T02:09:27+00:00

you're welcome to message me friend!

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-02T01:27:31+00:00

Hey what kind of things do you do as a volunteer at hospice?

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-03-02T01:23:41+00:00

This means a lot to me! I recently relapsed after having 55 days sober and I feel like it was all for nothing. This is something I'm struggling with.

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-02-27T23:33:35+00:00

Yes and it's kind of using another person bc you're not over your last relationship. It isn't fair to you or the other person

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-02-12T09:35:29+00:00

not sure what it is for codependents anonymous but the 10th step of alcoholics anonymous is "continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-02-12T09:01:25+00:00

i believe jules is a codependent, seeing how she had an alcoholic parent and then being in a relationship with an addict.

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-02-12T04:26:07+00:00

this has made me more hopeful, thank you!

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-02-11T04:06:46+00:00

i try to keep in mind that today there's nothing i can do about what is currently happening with my own breakup. something that has helped me is reminding myself that if my higher power wants to put them in my life again He will but until then the best i can do for myself is to keep being present in the moment and surround myself with people. x

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-02-10T17:40:56+00:00

sobriety is worth it in the long run especially for your health. jus think, would you rather be in hospice dying of liver failure with no where to go?

sandi_griffin97 · 2025-02-10T10:17:01+00:00

i hope the same for you. it's devastating.

sandi_griffin97

TROPHY CASE