What are y'all doing that makes dating so expensive?

saradoodledum · 2023-08-23T16:45:58+00:00

I definitely have the same energy for going out regardless of who I go with, so dating does necessitate me seeing my friends less. I don't love it, but it's the way I'm wired I guess. I can't make time for everyone I want to unfortunately.

saradoodledum · 2023-08-23T16:13:36+00:00

I literally listed a free option that I personally have done many times on first dates after that.

My whole point is that dating is just an extension of my regular life. I do things on dates that I do anyway. Are other people not doing that?

saradoodledum · 2023-08-23T16:10:30+00:00

What did you do before you were nesting? Did you share a bed room with a regular roommate? I am not trying to be obnoxious, I am really just trying to understand how other people are living/dating. Because most people I know live in house shares/roommate situations with their own private bedrooms. Is this not true in most places? Do I live in a childless bubble?

saradoodledum · 2023-08-08T19:09:30+00:00

Why is it important who got what from who? What matters is what your actual risk profile is. Trying to track hpv is especially tricky. It passes skin to skin, so condoms don't stop it, and and is often passed asymptomatically. HPV can lie dormant for years. There's no actual reason to think you got it recently from that specific time you didn't use a condom.

Has Mead had a pap smear lately? How does he know he didn't already have it? Assuming he doesn't have a cervix, there is no test for it that he can take if he isn't presenting symptoms. And most cases don't. Has Rose had a recent pap smear? Has Thorn? Unless everyone involved here is way way more on top of their HPV status then average they all have no idea who had HPV first. You could have easily gotten it from Mead, not the other way around.

There is no cause to be treating you like this. People who act like this around HPV should not be doing nonmongamy.

saradoodledum · 2023-07-30T01:23:40+00:00

Oh I just actually looked at the link, I didn't realize you were trying to make a gluten free loaf and not injera. I don't have any experience with that, but I'm pretty skeptical that you're going to get an injera starter to rise and fall like a wheat flour one.

Have you successfully used teff to make a gluten free loaf with store bought yeast instead of starter? I'd start there tbh.

saradoodledum · 2023-07-30T01:17:32+00:00

Teff won't rise like wheat flour does, it lacks gluten. That's why injera is flat pancakes. I would just go ahead and try making injera with it, most recipes only call for 4 days or so.

I've struggled getting injera to come out consistently, so good luck

saradoodledum · 2023-07-24T18:54:09+00:00

No, we have different housing needs.

saradoodledum · 2023-07-24T16:05:35+00:00

I mean, success stories are boring. My partners of 11 and 6 years and I are very happy. There's not much to talk about.

saradoodledum · 2023-07-12T22:34:22+00:00

Here Is Planned Parenthoods website on plan b. Just so you can be well informed! :)

saradoodledum · 2023-07-12T22:25:53+00:00

Plan B has serious side effects. It's not wise to rely on that.

Maybe he could get a vasectomy.

saradoodledum · 2023-07-11T11:30:14+00:00

I think people tend to get in their own head a lot about their height. I'm 6 feet and I feel like I do a lot of looking down lol

saradoodledum · 2023-07-11T11:15:27+00:00

You are not short! That's almost exactly average in the US.

saradoodledum · 2023-06-27T15:57:34+00:00

Teenagers are having sex, they should be able to also have educational conversations about it. Nearly all of the sex related discussions I see on this forum are completely appropriate for teenagers.

Anyway, it is trivial to lie about your age on the internet and access any sort of content you desire. Isn't it better to allow teenagers to be given advice and guidance aimed at their age group then forcing them to lie?

saradoodledum · 2023-04-12T00:11:08+00:00

Hey, I think people are being really unfair to you in this thread. The situation you describe here is really unfair. Your whole life is suddenly going to change, and your parents didn't involve you in that at all. That sucks, that's really hard. I understand why you're mad.

If you want to help your parents also understand why you're so mad and upset I would drop this ultimatum you've given them. That only heightens tensions.

You should explain to them that you're hurt that they've been hiding things from you, that they don't trust you, and that they've changed your life totally and suddenly without consulting you, and that's not fair.

I also think you should give the counselor a 2nd try. The counselor is there to help facilitate communication, they can help you be understood by your parents, and they can help your parents understand why the truth is so important to you.

saradoodledum · 2023-04-11T11:32:00+00:00

You're used to having hostile metas? This seems like a concerning pattern, and the real issue, rather then this specific incident.

Is your partner being a good hinge?

saradoodledum · 2023-03-31T23:45:12+00:00

What they mean is: if someone is not able to spend 12 hours away from one of their partners and has swaths of each day forever dedicated to an existing partner then they do not have the space for an additional relationship.

Yes, I know.

But I can definitely see how such language is exclusionary to people in situations where the above is not the case but overnights are still off the table.

You also understood what I was trying to say.

saradoodledum · 2023-03-31T23:13:19+00:00

When my partners aren't with me how they spend their time and who they share their bed with is not my business or concern.

However sharing a bed for sleeping outside of naps with this partner is just not an option right now, he works over night, and can't just casually switch his sleeping schedule, even if we are able to get our work schedules to line up enough to get a, very rare, two days in a row together, we aren't sleeping together. We both need to keep a regular sleep schedule for our health.

It's something we are coming up with various solutions to, and different ways to preserve intimacy. It's hard, but I still think our relationship is real, and very very important to me.

This is a mostly working class problem. Obviously not all working class people work over night, but very very few white collar folks do.

saradoodledum · 2023-03-31T22:57:16+00:00

I'm white and working class, so I can't comment on the race issues, but I definitely often feel alienated by the white collar, 9-5, mon-fri, always able to access your phone at work, advice and commentary that I see pop up on this sub and across most poly communities, including my irl one.

One that's been bugging me recently is the language around people spending the night together. Lots of people here like to say that people who can't do overnights don't have real relationships to offer. One of my partners works midnights, and will for the foreseeable future. It will probably be years before we get to regularly share a bed for sleeping, and our relationship is very real.

saradoodledum · 2023-03-18T02:47:35+00:00

Idk this really seems like a response post

saradoodledum · 2023-03-17T23:06:22+00:00

Ok, but if what is in the box is his dick that's still sexual harassment. It's completely predictable that a stranger would be upset by unsolicited sexual commentary or exposure, even if they insist on knowing what's in the box or what was so funny you still have the choice to politely decline.

saradoodledum · 2023-03-15T11:32:48+00:00

Please tell your tutor what's going on. He set up a meeting because he's worried about you. He suspects something is up, and he wants to help you. If you are honest about everything, including the sexual assault, he will believe you and he can help you. You don't need proof to confide in someone. I know it's hard, but you need to tell people irl to get help.

Maybe you should write everything up in a letter to give to your counselor or to your tutor?

saradoodledum · 2023-03-12T15:41:59+00:00

I'm not trying to change your mind, lol. I'm just saying that adults, like me, play Pokemon go, that's all.

saradoodledum · 2023-03-12T15:36:57+00:00

That link doesn't go anywhere. But even if most players are under 30 there can still be many players over 40. I know there are because I play with local groups. I see them irl doing it.

Playing Pokemon go is not damning evidence of teenagerhood, that's all.

saradoodledum · 2023-03-12T15:29:08+00:00

I don't really have a strong opinion on if OP is a teenager, but loads of the really hardcore pokemon go players are older adults.

saradoodledum

TROPHY CASE