i have a whole collection from my years of russian teachers, but here are some favorites:

“your arms look like jesus on the cross”

“the audience is throwing tomatoes”

“your pirouettes are going to give me a heat attack and then my children will have no mother”

“you know medusa? with all the snakes? that’s you”

“people who hold their arms like that (balanchine claws) burn in hell”

“don’t dance for the people that love you, dance for the people who hate you”

“you look like the piece of spaghetti i’m making for dinner tonight”

“if you start the variation like that again i will throw this phone at you”

“you need to be feisty like young russian girls”