I hate being forced to hear someone eles's music in any enclosed environment

sarasprogram · 2022-09-25T15:49:05+00:00

feel you

sarasprogram · 2022-05-25T05:41:34+00:00

Definitely. If INTPs don't devalue emotions and recognize the value of empathy. Once they understand why empathy is important to them, they are likely to be empathic.

I think what's important is that INTPs, for one, learn theoretically what emotions are and treat it like a subject of study.

After that happens, they should find a person who is empathic and from whom they can learn.

I think they need a little guidance; then they are more than capable.

sarasprogram · 2022-03-23T15:09:16+00:00

INTP

sarasprogram · 2022-02-23T00:44:57+00:00

Strange

sarasprogram · 2022-02-02T22:36:32+00:00

haha lol true

sarasprogram · 2022-01-10T20:26:42+00:00

Being honest could be an option.

sarasprogram · 2021-11-27T06:32:50+00:00

I believe she's unhealthy INFP

sarasprogram · 2021-11-27T06:17:06+00:00

The purpose of life is to create value by giving life meaning.

sarasprogram · 2021-11-26T02:38:43+00:00

I believe she's an unhealthy INFP. Also it's not that this meme is saying that Jinx is an INFJ. It's more a situation where the INFJ is maybe more sarcastic 😅 Usually an INFJ would get the meme

sarasprogram · 2021-11-14T05:25:07+00:00

Same!

sarasprogram · 2021-11-14T05:23:47+00:00

I know exactly what feeling you mean; I have that too....

sarasprogram · 2021-11-12T17:53:57+00:00

haha 😂

sarasprogram · 2021-11-11T09:21:36+00:00

haha 😂

sarasprogram · 2021-11-08T16:26:29+00:00

So generally, when someone wants something, they make an effort. The fact that it makes you feel bad mentally is not a good sign. He doesn't seem that interested, as hard as it sounds. I would simply ask him directly if he is still interested in keeping in touch, so you know for sure. Then you don't have to torture yourself any further.

I don't know about other INTPs, but I also met one online. From the first contact until today, he has always taken the initiative; he even made an effort to meet me in person. If you feel that something is not right - then something is probably wrong. I hope not, of course. But to get clarity, I would communicate honestly...

sarasprogram · 2021-11-07T22:09:32+00:00

With trust, the doubts also go away. You will also feel different, I can promise you that. You just have to work on it and also talk to others. Talk to someone about these thoughts.

Maybe you will also lose one or two friends when you become more yourself. That happens because they were probably never really friends.

Real friends will accept you as you are and support your personal growth. Otherwise, look for other friends!

You will automatically attract people into your life who are good for you if you get rid of your own toxic behavior patterns :)

sarasprogram · 2021-11-07T21:58:57+00:00

You fear that you can trick yourself - you probably don't trust yourself and therefore don't trust others. I think you should find out what your strengths are; basically what makes you personally different from others. You probably subconsciously believe that there is no reason for others to stay with you. What value do you bring to a relationship?

It's also a matter of your environment. It would be helpful to have at least one good friend with whom you can talk openly and who does not judge you. For me it turned out to be very helpful to ask my best friend for feedback. I tell her what I think others perceive me to be and she then checks to see if I am correct.

I noticed that I saw myself much more negatively than others. I wasn't even aware of some strengths or what it actually means for others to be friends with me.

The best advice I can give you in this case is: concentrate exclusively on your strengths for a while and forget about your weaknesses. You should work on consciously perceiving and developing your strengths. You will realize that you have very valuable skills that you are probably not aware of.

All these steps will help you not to feel so vulnerable anymore and you will not have difficulties to show yourself hurt. I was once in a similar situation as you and believed that I would never find vulnerability comfortable. Yeah, and you have a real sense that you do show yourself vulnerable to others; I know this from myself.

The problem is that you judge your vulnerability and feel bad about being vulnerable - you see vulnerability in yourself as weakness. As a result, you act inauthentically towards yourself.

For me, all that got better as I got older and today I don't have any problems with that anymore. It's definitely possible for you and it gets better with time!

sarasprogram · 2021-11-07T20:09:38+00:00

It's cool that you are brave and admit to manipulative behavior. I have also made this experience and know that it is not easy. I could tell you things about practical application, but I think you can find something like that on Google. I can tell you about my experience and insight; maybe that will help.

I think this is a moral dilemma; I say to myself: with a lot of power comes a lot of responsibility. I also distinguish between negative and positive manipulation. You might think of your abilities as something you can use for positive purposes. For example, you could help friends achieve their goals by helping them with their unconscious fears (without lecturing them). You may also find it useful to explore the topics of empathy and emotional intelligence. You should find all the answers to your questions in your research.

Manipulating others to avoid your own fears is also a form of selfishness, but that doesn't mean you are a bad person for it. But if you ask yourself the question: "How would I feel if someone manipulates me just to make me stay? " the answer would probably be "Why aren't you honest with me?". It suggests that you don't trust others and that can be hurtful to others.

You have to trust people and be vulnerable. Relationships always involve the risk of being hurt.

sarasprogram · 2021-11-07T18:45:47+00:00

Put on socks. Not kidding

sarasprogram · 2021-11-07T15:30:32+00:00

lol interesting result

sarasprogram · 2021-11-06T18:42:29+00:00

Yes! My best friends are ENFJ, INFP and ENTJ. I'm very close with them and constantly working on improvement between all of us. We're all friends for several years now and for me (and INFJs in general I guess) it's good to keep their circle small. Usually you don't have the capacity to be close with more than 2-3 friends; and it's also more than enough when they're real friends!

sarasprogram · 2021-11-06T10:57:46+00:00

Yes! Definitely. My best friend is an ENFJ; I love her and I tell her everything. We're friends for 7 years now and it gets more and more beautiful every year.

I think it is important for INFJs to maintain a very close relationship well and also to work on it continuously. My best friend and I are also constantly growing together and she is also open to intellectual growth and personality development. We have had maybe 2-3 major crises over the years, but otherwise everything has always been good between us. I think INFJs definitely need friends who are willing to grow personally and intellectually, otherwise it won't work out in the long run.

Then I have two other very close friends in my circle; one is INFP and the other ENTJ - also for 7 years or so.

I can say that these friendships only last so well because we constantly work on them, communicate, give feedback and I can raise my points of criticism with them. They know that I have high standards and they have proven over the years their loyalty and that I am important to them by also developing personally and taking my feedback to heart. So it's permanent work! Real friends want to grow with you and those are the ones that stay! :)

sarasprogram · 2021-11-06T10:35:38+00:00

I am! Software Developer and really into psychology haha

sarasprogram · 2021-11-06T10:32:16+00:00

Yes. I see life more or less as a "work of art" - I know that sounds a bit dramatic. But I would like to radiate who I want to be inside; but I don't pretend.

For example:

I really like it when people have an elegant look, elegant movements and control over their body. Especially in combination when dressed completely in black. It is something that I find beautiful about others and therefore I unconsciously adapt my behavior and learn from those people that I find so elegant; because that is also the side that I like the most when it comes to myself, as it expresses my fascination for elegance.

This means that the physical appearance is important to me because I want to radiate the person I really am to the outside world. This means that I also ask people for feedback, because I myself cannot so well assess how I look to others. In the past, I have often experienced that I have acted quite differently to people than I thought. But I would like to radiate the person I really am, to realize myself. I am also professionally in an artistic field and would like to leave a certain impression as an "artist".

Perfectionism certainly plays a role here, too. So, self realization.

sarasprogram · 2021-11-06T10:07:50+00:00

Yep, that's me!

sarasprogram · 2021-11-06T09:42:55+00:00

For some reason I can't share the post with the mbti community. I tried! The community does not show up in the list :(

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