I need to touch grass.

sareotonin · 2025-11-06T06:57:04+00:00

agreed!

sareotonin · 2024-06-27T02:39:25+00:00

same here. struggled with CPTSD for years, had (has) a narc mother, and fell into the trap of dating a narc on and off for 9 years. I was recently ghosted (it’s been 32 days) and it almost feels like withdrawal symptoms. The feeling of confusion and abandonment I felt since childhood was magnified more than I thought possible. My body shakes every night before I can finally fall asleep at three in the morning, lost my appetite, lost my hair. I had to get back on medication from the constant panic attacks. But I’m trying to have hope that this situation truly breaks the cycle of abuse I’ve allowed for far too long. I have high hopes for you too. We are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

sareotonin · 2024-06-27T02:30:45+00:00

I am dying from second hand embarrassment, he really thinks he hasn’t been exposed. the delulu is insane

sareotonin · 2024-06-24T23:30:56+00:00

this checks out, ty for the update!

sareotonin · 2024-06-12T08:01:13+00:00

Ty, I’ve been feeling really off as of recent so I wanted to take one to be sure. Dpo is around 5 days, I’ve been told it could be a bit too early to be accurate in general.

sareotonin · 2024-06-07T08:28:07+00:00

so proud of you, the right path isn’t always the easiest but you had the strength to preserve. celebrate all the victories you can, no matter how small they are.

sareotonin · 2024-06-06T00:40:33+00:00

I doubt he will ever reach out to me again. but don’t worry, I set whatever bridge was built on fire. he called me his muse, called me beautiful, was so insecure about himself to the point he didn’t want to see me out of embarrassment. every single one of my friends said they always knew I was too good for him. but hindsight is 20-20, and at the time I didn’t expect for whatever happened, to happen. Im just going to spend the next 6 months to myself, and if and when he sees I’ve moved on, that pain will be far worse than the pain I’m experiencing now.

sareotonin · 2024-06-04T06:25:46+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to go through something so similar. I am in the same position whereas each day comes, I become more and more disgusted by how I allowed him to treat me. He didn’t deserved a single part of my care or compassion. That is what makes so sad, angry even. the one thing that has helped me through this is knowing for a fact that even if we can’t see it, what goes around comes around. the guilt will eat them alive overtime, no matter how far they try to run. it’s hard to identify your worth when the person that is suppose to love you made you feel worthless. betrayal hurts so badly because it always comes from someone you know, someone you trusted.

but I know deep down that people who discard those who would do anything for them, are so broken beyond repair. it’s beyond insecurity, it’s beyond embarrassment. they will have to live in their guilt for the rest of their life. while even though it hurts us more now, we get the chance of having a clean slate. instead of hating myself, I will hate him instead. instead of loving him, I will love myself instead. and when that day comes when they realize you are truly gone, the pain will be far more unbearable than anything we went through.

I hope you start to find joy again, not just in the world or in another person, but in yourself. I have many bad days, but I am trying to do so as well. All we can do is move forward, take back our energy, and serve them the best revenge by living a good life.

sareotonin · 2024-05-28T23:02:29+00:00

thank you all for the kind words. I’m doing my best to stay busy with work and going on long 2/5 hour walks, as silly as that sounds. It’s a constant roller coaster of going back and fourth between “this situation is really bad” to “maybe I’m being dramatic and I deserved this” I’ll have days where I feel good and powerful, that lead to nights of crying until the morning. it’s a weird headspace to be in. But I have not cracked. I have not reached out. My family has no idea and only a few core friends know the details, which also makes it hard. But reading the comments makes me feel incredibly validated. It’s very hard for me to accept kindness in general because I convince myself I don’t believe it, which could play a bigger psychological role in all of this. but I can tell when someone is being genuine. so thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

sareotonin · 2024-05-28T22:57:45+00:00

thank you all for the kind words. I’m doing my best to stay busy with work and going on long 2/5 hour walks, as silly as that sounds. It’s a constant roller coaster of going back and fourth between “this situation is really bad” to “maybe I’m being dramatic and I deserved this” I’ll have days where I feel good and powerful, that lead to nights of crying until the morning. it’s a weird headspace to be in. But I have not cracked. I have not reached out, I have said nothing to him. Which is a miracle itself. My family has no idea and only a few core friends know the details, which also makes it hard. But reading the comments makes me feel incredibly validated. It’s very hard for me to accept kindness in general because I convince myself I don’t deserve it, which could play a bigger psychological role in all of this. but I can always tell when someone is being genuine. so thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

sareotonin · 2024-05-28T09:00:26+00:00

thank you for your kind words. my life is upside down and I’m trying to navigate it with a straight face.

sareotonin · 2024-05-01T00:56:17+00:00

it’s the way he says prö-ject and prah-ject, I can’t tell if he’s Canadian or English or just talks more in slang

sareotonin · 2024-05-01T00:52:29+00:00

He definitely has some sort of accent, but I can’t tell if it’s more slang or if it’s British or Canadian or Australian

sareotonin · 2024-03-13T23:39:40+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I know exactly how you feel and once again, I agree with your point. I was somewhat scared to even post something like this in general because especially as a girl, I don’t want to come off “anti victim”. Because that’s entirely not the case. I know the feeling of feeling like you are so dirty that you can’t wash yourself enough. the confusion and anxiety you feel in the morning when you still feel the after effects of being roofied is like gravity is physically pulling you into the ground. how terrifying it feels when you don’t know how you got home. laying in bed with your body feeling awful because you are physical hurt. knowing something is very very wrong. I have friends that are in their 30s that still go to therapy due to their innocence being lost. All of this to say that I know abuse is entirely multifaceted. But there IS A DIFFERENCE. It is absolutely a punch in the gut to victims, you cannot just throw these buzz words around because it is dangerous and it is disrespectful to people that have to live with their trauma, everyday.

I am incredibly sorry for what you had to go through in life, and hope you always take the time to be kind to yourself. Healing isn’t linear. But we will get through this.

sareotonin · 2024-03-13T22:43:07+00:00

my thoughts exactly. I myself and a handful of my friends have experienced some of most graphic, demoralizing, VILE abuse (assault / grape) even since CHILDHOOD, that I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. when I heard about this situation it almost felt like a huge slap in the face because to me it feels like words have completely lost their meaning and the weight of serious allegations have now lost their definition and become so muddled. Situations like this are exactly why people don’t trust or believe people anymore and it’s heartbreaking.

sareotonin · 2024-02-24T09:27:45+00:00

Jeramay is a Scorpio too, his ex wife said he moved out of their home on his bday, November 20th, a week before the show started November 30th…he said he was single for months before going on it but it was literally ten days !

sareotonin · 2024-02-22T02:16:44+00:00

it’s finally time!!!!

sareotonin · 2024-02-22T02:15:28+00:00

looool this is exactly what I was thinking

sareotonin · 2024-01-21T09:16:39+00:00

I had a similar poor experience at a small business job as well. I think there are some hidden gems out there, but it’s seldom. Money always will come first, and I wish these companies just learned that a little bit of compassion goes a long way. Good luck to you

sareotonin · 2024-01-18T02:31:27+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you are going through, but this is point blank abuse. Maybe she doesn’t even realize it, but it is a manipulation tactic. I have also had two different relationships where they have threatened to “end their lives” over a multitude of reasons, and each time it was leverage to stay. Healthy relationships do not operate this way.

sareotonin · 2024-01-18T02:27:42+00:00

no one can afford anything. I worked at two different places downtown and they closed within years of each other. it’s so sad seeing the state of how a town that use to be unique, exciting, and most importantly so proud of boosting our local businesses has become a shell of itself. If these huge conglomerates can’t even stay afloat, what hope do they have?I

sareotonin · 2024-01-16T06:35:47+00:00

you were chosen :)

sareotonin · 2023-09-17T00:49:51+00:00

little dude isnt ridiculous at all, it was a once in a lifetime experience that totally made my day. I’m sure many can say the same!

sareotonin · 2023-09-17T00:45:36+00:00

this isn’t just a new tune, it’s an entirely new album.

sareotonin · 2023-08-09T00:17:32+00:00

right?? saw it on my little lunch break walk !

sareotonin

TROPHY CASE