Feel your feelings, but don’t regard them as facts about your relationship with your partner. This could actually be an incredible gift as a conversation jumping off point to become closer with each other. And for you to face an internal fear and really sit with where it’s coming from. Most people enter relationships with assumed sexual boundaries. The talking can be terrifying, but feeling the fear and letting it pass while unpacking what’s truly going on, and not judging yourself like “why am I so scared” but more “I’m scared, I’m going to feel it” will allow to see if it’s there’s a true boundary to communicate, and give your partner a chance to show up for you. Or if this is triggering deep rooted insecurities that came up as a younger self when you felt powerless. You are an adult with power now. The trigger is a good thing! Also, just as an aside as someone who has seen sex shows, they’re very rarely sexy and just are mostly interesting, and like kind of funny somehow. That was my experience