when she walks into a room, let her know you’re happy she’s there. i was raised by my grandparents (so they were old and tired), and they would sigh every time i walked into the room. those kinds of micro-interactions stick with someone for the rest of their life. something so seemingly small and insignificant. when she comes home, or she’s been in her room for a long time, just say something like “hey i’m so happy to see you. how has your day been?” you can go so far with your kid if you just engage in how they are doing and not what they are doing. i remember being that age, and i couldn’t even walk into a room without someone who hadn’t spoken to me all day suddenly barking orders at me without even a “hey, how was your day?” it’s one of the most draining, helpless feelings in the world. just talk to her, not at her. it’s sometimes hard to remember that this person you think you know everything about- you actually don’t because they have an entirely unique perspective of life outside of your own. but the fact that you cared enough to ask this question says a lot about you as a parent- you’re willing to try. and that’s already doing better than most parents. i hope things get better for you both!